| Mr. P.A., 54 years.
Retake was done on 8th
Dec. 05
Previous medicines: Kali carb.
Pulsatilla.
D: I will ask you certain questions
again and again. Doesn’t mean I am not following you. Don’t feel
bad about that. To go deeper at certain point, certain question
I will ask again, and please co-operate. Whatever best homeopathy
can do for you, I will do. What are your problems?
P: Firstly I presume this is a…. this problem
of sneezing, cough and cold. I sneeze since last…. Too much.
Especially this year there is morning blast…. from the childhood
only I remember…. That is I remember I am suffering from this.
The day I start sneezing, morning I will start early morning. I
start then almost it is unabated for throughout the day. Many times
I do find that in 1 breath I do for at least 4-5 times, 4-5 breathings.
Especially there is a change, a particular change I find on that
particular day that the day I sneeze I feel too much hunger. Morning,
I will have breakfast, but still at 8-9 o’clock again I feel
that I’ll take something, whatever; I will pick up something
and eat it. Lunch, mostly I take at about 1-1.30 or 2 o’clock.
If, on a particular day I feel hungry, I will eat lunch at 11 or
11:30 and it certainly affects my working. I feel little bit irritated,
uneasy. I feel I am sweating also. I do a lot of sweating also.
This time, last few days back I tried some thing but during this
day when I was sneezing I wear a cap, little cap on my head and
whole day I kept it on. And I felt… some better change actually.
Probably that day, sneezing was less. Density was quite less.
So, I am not sure may be because of it or something else. And last
few days I went to Allopath, only at Chembur, he gave me one tablet
Anti allergy or whatever it is there. I don’t know anti allergic
he told me that. He told me that you take it for about 30-40 days
continuously. But I had to leave, for 5-6 days I took and after
that I found that my sneezing stopped and I started coughing. Means
it dried. Sneezing no doubt I sneeze too much, I get tired because
of this too much of sneezing, but coughing is not there. I don’t
have any headache or any other problem. It clears, that means my….
but the day I start coughing, some other problem starts. I had a
very tough coughing, so I had to take a tablet, re-tablet,
I have to take 10 tablets for that coughing. Cough, very dried up
virtually. The day I sneeze, even if I sneeze this much but I take
bath it is my psychological or whatever it is, I feel…. Due to sneezing
earlier days I missed my bath. But I found that my cough is dried
so after that I have made it a habit of taking bath everyday. Normally
other than winter season, I take bath with cold water only. But
in this…… warm water I use during this cold season or otherwise
when I sneeze that particular day I use warm water for my bathing.
I take bath everyday. May be I am not using soap or anything, but
I put cold water on my head and everything. That I do everyday.
And one little I feel whatever this particular…. I have got this
bout. I feel my stomach is not clearing properly that period. Mostly
I go early morning, at….. I go for clearing my bowel. So I get up
in the morning I have a glass of water. Even before, taking tea
after 10 minutes after getting up I go to toilet. But during this
period I vacuumed, once it doesn’t clear. My stomach is not clearing
so I may have to go once again, before taking bath. After 1
hour or so after taking a cup of tea also. Night time, even
otherwise also I find my nose gets choked up and I stop breathing
through nose, nostrils, I breathe through my mouth only. That
might cause some irritation to my family, my wife and my child.
Because they say that I snore too much. And may be because of this…
sometimes I feel that nighttime when I sleep, I feel breathless
sometimes. As I gasp for…as if a fish is taken out of water.
As if it is gasping (HG) for some water, I gasp for air.
Whenever I get up (HG) [HG stands for "hand gesture"]
and sit I get some relief.
In the nighttime, I get relief if I sit for sometime.
I get some relief. My food habit is I don’t have a very heavy diet
in the morning or evening. I prefer having small dishes… that means
lunch and this…. It is not heavy. I take about 3 wheat pancakes.
Then I go for 3-4 wheat pancakes at night. Day times I take 2 wheat
pancakes and some rice. But evening time again I need something
before that, with tea some snacks or something. I prefer, bread
butter or something. I take tea. Tea, morning time and if I am at
home morning time I take 2 cups of tea, and evening time I go for
at least 2 cups. So 4 cups a day in the holidays I take. But in
office density is more. In the office I take… if anybody comes
in the office I have to share. So I take few more cups of tea. As
such bad habit – tea is only bad habit. I don’t smoke, earlier I
used smoke I was smoking for almost 17 years. In those 10-15 years
I was a heavy smoker. I was smoking almost about 3 packets a day.
Last I left it in 1987. After that I have not touched the smoking.
But today if anybody smokes in front of me, I get irritated. I avoid
that place. Smoking I have… or betel leaf I don’t take, tobacco
I don’t chew. And drinks and all I take very rarely. Some parties
a peg or two; once in a month or once in 2-3 months or 4 months
like this. One peg or two peg. Food habits I like all types of food
the veg, non-veg. In non-veg we take fish more. Mutton we take very
rarely. In our house we don’t bring chicken. Or mutton also very
rarely we take. Fish we take. But fish also I take a very small
amount only. Small 1 or 2 pieces only. And due to this cough and
cold I cannot take fruits of my choice. It was earlier also, I
was….. I used to like banana but because of this I have stopped
taking banana. Banana it was my favorite fruit. Fruit almost I can
say that I don’t take any fruits.
At home, night sleeping I use one T-shirt or whatever
it is. T-shirt or baniyan while sleeping. But summer I don’t
use that. Summer I keep my body naked only. At home I don’t
wear slippers. Bathroom slipper whenever I go to bathroom that time
only. I don’t wear slippers. I keep my legs open only. But
out of home, I always use shoes. I don’t use chappals or anything.
Lately this has made a psychological effect on me and I have become
a desperate person now. As if that this sneezing is going to take
life long (HG). This is the reason, because I am desperate now.
I have… last time I believe up to this monsoon when I saw
that no matter what I take or don't take, I am sneezing; so, I stopped
all restrictions. I took cold drinks also, I took butter milk also.
Even if I am sneezing, I am taking this. I said with this also I
sneeze, otherwise also I sneeze. Now whatever I feel like having
I take it. I said with this or without that if the reason is same
then with this only I will enjoy. I feel that I am getting some
relief. Sneezing naturally my working capacity also it
decreases. My working capacity, my energy level dips. From family
side, I don’t take much tension about my family. My wife only, she
takes care of my child in every respect. We may not be having very
sweet relations but we don’t have any problems as such. Say in our
family I have no complaints about my wife or my child. Office side
tension is there, as it remains with the job. But there also I don’t
take much. I accept it as it comes. I accept it and do my job. I
think I have covered almost all the things. Any specific question?
D: Something more you would like
to add?
P: I sleep for about 5 hours 5-6 hours. 5 hours I
get to sleep, 5-5 ½. At around 11
o’clock now we have disconnected
the cable, so we go to sleep early. I go to sleep early at 11
o’clock OK. So morning
I get up at 5 o’clock. So 5-5 ½ hours I sleep. My sleep is as such I get
a good sleep. Rarely do I find sometimes in a month or once or twice
in a month that I don’t get deep sleep. Otherwise my sleep…. I have
a deep sleep. That dreaming and all, that portion I don’t have much.
I get a good sleep. Because, the whole day I don’t take rest. The
whole day I am so tired. I go to bed. As I go to bed at around at
11-11.30, I sleep. I do not take any B.P. tablets or anything. I
don’t have B.P., no diabetics, Acidity. I have got slight acidity.
But still it is because of the diet I take. This abides food. I
like the snacks, If I like I take one ‘Samosa’ or ‘Vada’ those things
I take. That may by causing that. Because of that I feel little
pain in the chest. But it goes. It may be because of gas or something.
D: What type of pain?
P: Slight pain. It is acidity type pain sometimes
here, (shows), sometimes here, it moves.
D: At one point you said,
you feel breathless at night as if fish is out of water.
P: Yes.
D: Describe that feeling in much
detail.
P: Because I am sleeping now. Suddenly I feel that
(gesture) I get up immediately. I feel that I am not getting the
breath (HG) properly, whatever I need. The body needs that much
extra oxygen only. So I open my mouth and full I breathe. Full
oxygen I take 4-5 times (shows) this type I breath. Breathe 4-5
times. If I don’t feel… still I feel uneasy, I get up and sit for
2-3 minutes. I will sit 5 minutes.. Then I will again for
sometime and then I will go to bed. I will sleep again.
D: It makes a lot of sense what
you are describing. Describe the uneasiness little more?
P: In this only?
D: Like somebody has stopped (HG) stopped my breathing.
Somebody put me (HG) this (HG) this something that… somebody put
my chest (HG) somebody is pressing. Or somebody is sitting on my
chest or something. That’s why it is causing. (HG) I am unable to
take my full breath.
D: Somebody is sitting on your
chest………
P: Chest (HG)
D: As well as you did, this.
P: Ya, something this type (HG)
I am not able to……….
D: Not this, you did this gesture.
P: Ya, this type (HG) or you
may say there is a combination of this.
D: What is that? Describe both
in detail?
P: This particular thing I have noticed that wherever
I sleep flat on my bed. When I sleep flat on my bed. I keep my hands
here (Shows) and now because of that only I get something.
D: Not logical.
P: No, there is no logic.
D: The feeling? Whatever you are saying lot of sense?
Somebody puts pressure on the chest.
P: Pressure on the chest, (HG) As if somebody is putting.
Because I don’t put anything on my body. I don’t like anything on
my sleeping. My wife if she keeps her hand, I just remove her hand
away. I say, you remove your hand from my body it should be free,
when I am sleeping.
D: Describe that uneasiness,
little more?
P: The one is this…
D: Again, Little more uneasiness. I said certain questions
I will ask again.
P: Yes, yes (Pause) This is not exactly the (HG) but
chest, somebody is pressing my chest. As if somebody is pressing
my chest, because of that I am unable to take my full breath, so
I gasp. (HG) Immediately I just (HG) move my hands away and try
to take full breath. I mean if I am fully uneasy then I sit for
some time, night time.
D: Describe that little more?
Somebody is pressing my chest.
P: That’s a peculiar fact but
I have this type of feeling with that.
D: It is important tell me?
P: Because even if I am sleeping alone. My wife is
not…… my wife and my child are not with me, I am sleeping at home,
that time also I have this type of feeling.
D: What is that feeling?
P: The similar, that I don’t get… somebody is pressing
(HG) my chest, somebody is pressing my chest, body I am not able
to breath.
D: Somebody is pressing my chest
and body. This is a peculiar feeling, what is this?
P: So, this is actually, this is my gesture that when
I… body sometimes it becomes like this. This slight stiffness comes
and I (gesture) immediately, my sleep actually breaks and I get
up.
D: Stiffness I didn’t follow. Somebody is pressing
my chest, it’s a peculiar fact, even if wife is not there, you get
that feeling.
P: Yes, my wife is not there,
sometimes outside also whenever I am sleeping out.
D: Please co-operate with me.
Do this gesture.
P: (HG)
D: As if someone is pressing your chest and this was
your gesture. 2-3 times you already did. Do it.
P: (HG)
D: And experience what
is happening.
P: (gesture). This type I breathe.
D: How is your experience,
when you say fish out of water?
P: You can see that fish….. live fish whenever it
is kept it starts jumping (HG) similar way I just, come
out as if I was unable take my breath, I have just come out of that
feeling and I am trying to take maximum air.
D: Come out I didn’t follow?
P: Come out means whatever in that…… I, I
was there, and I was unable to get that sleep… breath in that particular
sleeping posture. So, I am coming out or I am just getting up.
D: And this? One is breathless here.
P: Yes.
D: When you were gasping for breath, your
hands are these – what could be this?
P: I am not actually. (HG)
D: No, you are doing extremely well. Whatever
is happening….
P: That I am telling.
D: Every time I am asking you are adding something.
P: Yes. (HG)
D: If someone is pressing on your chest, what
you are trying to say with this?
P: (HG) May be same… that only feelings.
D: What feelings?
P: (HG) That means I am trying to (HG) just
push him. Whatever it is on the chest. Just throwing (HG) it out.
I am trying to…. From my internal body, I am trying to recollect
all my strength. Somebody is overpowering me and I am just trying
to recollect all my strength. Somebody is overpowering me and I
am just trying to recollect all my strength and just pushing it
out (HG) of my body.
D: How does that feel?
P: Then immediately I get up (gesture) with
….(gesture) I get up.
D: With all your strength if…. Someone is
overpowering you, you can push it back.
P: Yes, that I am trying to (HG ) pushing
it back.
D: Then how does that…. if you can?
P: That’s I said, immediately (gesture), I
use that method (HG), with this ‘jhatka’ (HG) type I give, a jerk,
(HG) good jerk.
D: How does that feel after that “jhatka”?
P: (HG) same…. This sleep is now broken. That
continuity is broken. I get up.
D: One second before the ‘jhatka’ what’s the
feeling, when someone is overpowering.
P: My wife sometime she says that in sleep
I am dreaming is there it may be I don’t know whether it is a dreaming
or what. You can call it dreaming. She said, one day I was saying
‘chor’, ‘chor’, ‘chor’ (thief) or something …Some unusual noise
comes out of my mouth (makes the sound). Sometimes very rarely it
comes, but it comes sometimes. Breathing, sleeping time if I sleep
on the lateral side (shows left lateral) then normally I can sleep.
But right hand side, I am not comfortable with right side posture.
D: As I said, with my experience certain things
are very important in Homeopathy and if we understand what they
are, it is better. So with the main problem, breathlessness is your
main problem. You just forget now about the breathlessness, about
the sneezing, about the night. Just concentrate on the peculiar
phenomenon, someone is overpowering, putting pressure on your chest
and you are pushing it out. Be in that experience and tell me as
much you can tell. That experience, not logic.
P: This doesn’t have any logic but… that’s
what I……….
D: Do that action and gesture again and whatever comes.
You did extremely well. It is a peculiar fact someone is overpowering
me.
P: Overpowering me.
D: What is overpowering, if I don’t follow English.
P: As I am sleeping, somebody sits on my chest or
somebody is sitting on (HG) my chest and trying to… and that is
causing me lot of difficulty in taking my breath. My breathing (HG)
stops. Sinking feeling starts. Whatever this strength (HG) I am
unable to breath. I am not getting the full breath. So if (HG)…
what to do, what to do; then suddenly (gesture) then I throw it
like this (interesting gesture) this happens.
D: Lot of sense, this “three” little more. Breathing
stops, sinking feeling & suddenly you throw it. First describe
more about breathing stops and sinking feeling.
P: I am sleeping, or normally in sleep we breath slowly.
Strong breathing stops, slowly we breathe. Then suddenly I feel
that I am unable to get that breath also. I am unable to get
that, or there is something which is overpowering me
(HG) and that is causing me a hardship that I am unable to breath
properly. So I try to…. I feel now…. As if now… that sinking feeling
is I am…(HG) without oxygen what will be my condition?
So, I (HG) hold the courage, that something is there. Whichever,
whatever is there on my body I want to throw it out (HG) and with
that full force (HG) what I use, many times. I got hurt also,
on the wall. I throw this hand like this (HG) and I get up. Then
I breathe 4-5 times (HG) Deep breath I take…. But still if I feel
little more uneasy then I sit for sometime. And few times it happened
that I got up and I just strolled in the room for 5-10 minutes in
the hall for 5-10 minutes and then I went to sleep again, after
having a glass of water.
D: You said without oxygen, what will be my condition?
What will be your condition without oxygen?
P: That is death.
D: Describe that feeling. Not logic, in that sleeps….
Sleep. During sleep, the experience.
P: During sleep whenever I am not getting the oxygen,
that means I am unable to breathe. (HG). My breathing stops. It
is…… I am dying. I am unable to take oxygen. So everything is
stopped. (HG) It is choked. I am unable to take the oxygen.
I may be dying, so that desperation (HG) comes in this.[In my mind
? birth process] That I try to come out of this (HG). Then
I whatever I …. Collect all my, recollect all my energy
and everything and I try to (HG) push (HG) out of it. I
try to throw (HG) it. When I am trying to throw it my hands (HG).
Many times my body shakes (gesture), full body shakes and then I
get up.
D: I am very sorry to ask you this question.
P: Yes, yes, no problem.
D: I am dying and choke little more about this experience
choke.
P: Choke. I mean (HG) oxygen I am not getting.
That oxygen I am not getting. Because whatever it is somebody is
sitting on my chest or that but is choked. Complete choked. (HG).
This oxygen I am unable to take. I am unable to inhale the oxygen
(HG) and slowly my body…. I am dying now.
D: What is choke?
P: Choked. Choked means… it is one of….choked that
word…. If we close (shows) our mouth and our nose both;
so I am not going to get oxygen. Somebody (HG) is putting…. I am
not getting the oxygen. Because it is been completely (HG) stopped.
This feeling… this oxygen I am not getting this feeling comes.
D: What is this?
P: That is the reason (HG) where, this is my expression
(HG).
D: Now?
P: This is my expression of desperation. That is because…..
as I am feeling that it is because of something which is not allowing
me to take my oxygen, that’s why to throw (HG) it out, to spill
(HG) it away, throw (HG) I just use my hands (HG) and just (HG)
get up and I take breath. Breathing I take. What is the reason I
have to take breath? Deep breaths I am taking after that happens.
D: How does that feel?
P: That’s what (gesture)
D: What’s the feeling now?
P: (Gesture) That means…. Then slowly it calms down.
D: What’s the feeling?
P: Then slowly it calms down. My brain also slowly
calms down (gesture). Then slowly I become normal.
D: What is the feeling?
P: Then relief.
D: How does that feel?
P: Now, that’s relief (gesture) I get relief, complete
relief. That means, I have (HG) come out of this. Then suddenly,
I find there is nothing, but I am sleeping on my bed.
D: Be in that experience, this was your gesture to
say relief, come out of this?
P: I am just relieved (Gesture)
D: Describe relieved, little more with this gesture?
Physically how does that feel?
P: (gesture) The hands which were just like this (HG)
just I (HG) released it and get that full relief, that I am…. Whatever
I was getting that I was unable to take…. Inhale the oxygen
that I got it now. This is the relief I get from that problem,
that breathing problems.
D: Why gesture should be like this, when you are relieved,
released?
P: Gesture now….
D: Doesn’t matter feel it and tell me what’s this?
Do it once more. Moment you got your oxygen, this was your gesture.
P: (Gesture)
D: Don’t concentrate on hands. Whatever comes?
P: No, it comes like this only, that I am relieved
(HG)
D: How is the experience of relieved. Describe relieved
experience little more.
P: (Pause) Relieved, normally what it comes that I
have said. I am unable to explain it.
D: O.K. Now only this. What comes to your mind? If
you do like this way, what comes to your mind.
P: (HG) It’s O.K.
D: How does O.K. feels to you?
P: It is normal. It is O.K. now. I am O.K. I am O.K.
D: Again as I said certain question I will ask you.
Again Every time I am asking I am going deeper.
P: O.K. no problem.
D: So, he is with me for one hour more?
P: Yes, yes. No problem. You are asking…. I have come
for this only. I want to get some…..
D: And I am sure, I will be able to help you?
P: O.K.
D - Describe that desperation., this action now?
P: (Pause) In the sleep, as I am sleeping, probably….
D: Those followed, those followed. Someone is pressing
on your chest, up to that I have followed.
P: Yes.
D: And choking up to that followed.
P: Yes.
D: You are getting oxygen, that is also followed.
P: Yes, I am not getting oxygen.
D: So, you are dying, that also followed.
P: How to come out of it, in that case in that
desperation, just to come out of this phase, I just use (HG)
this hands away from my chest. (HG) From this (HG) to away from
my chest and I get that relief. Then I am able to… and with this
(HG) mostly I feel that, that with this my sleep…. The continuity
of my sleep.
D: Describe, hands away from my chest?
P: May be during sleeping (HG) I am keeping my hands
on my chest, like this (shows) many times. So this is the reason….
That’s why (gesture) when I take it out, this is normal (HG)
this and this. That is… I am trying to, first I am trying to
get the strength (HG), so then suddenly this strength only (HG)
the hand it comes out.
D: Trying to get the strength, didn’t follow?
P: That the same thing, that somebody is pressing
my body. So as I want to save my self, as I want to protect myself
from that thing, which is causing me, not to take the normal breath
and I am slowly. I am dying, I am sinking, I am dying. I
would die if I don’t get….. That’s why my hands in desperation,
I show my hands. The hands (HG) are there on the chest, I throw
it out (HG) outside. Many times I find this I have, knocked, and
banged the wall next to my bed. I have banged the wall.
D: Now listen, in this context why you do this, I
followed. Now I don’t want to understand the context. I want to
understand the physics of your hand movement. When you are banging
the wall, it is called energy. It has a lot of energy.
P: It has lot of energy.
D: That energy I am trying to understand. I know that
you are Engineer, you will be able to explain me better physics
of that – this. May be from there you can start. Before part is
clear to me. You are getting strength. I want to save or perfect
myself. Something is on you. Something like that and you are banging….
P: Just like that (HG)
D: The wall. Just this movement.
P -(HG) This is the hands I am
doing. Whatever is there I am throwing (HG) it out. Or if something
is there on my chest I am throwing it out (HG)
D: Do it once more?
P: (HG) on my chest I am throwing it out like this
(HG) just (HG)
D: Once more please.
P: (HG)
D: For the last time.
P: (Gesture)
D: What comes to your mind now?
P: Just throwing (HG) it, whatever it is there on
my body. Pushing it away (HG) But I get so much of energy, once
it is released, that time I don’t have any control. It is once (HG)
is gained on this and now it is released, (HG) so I don’t have any
control (HG) now unless that energy. Once mechanic that force is
there so it how to go, somewhere it has to end. So, it bangs the
wall from the bed.
D: So much energy and you have
no control speak more about that.
P: So much of….. Now there in sleep…. During sleep
time, now anything you do with.
Hand, now you are banging (shows) we are using control.
I know that this is a table now, I cannot bang it. If I bang it
with more force than I am going to injure my hands. I am now in
sense. But during my sleep I am not in senses, but I am feeling
that my…. In my subconscious mind. I am feeling that something is
there on my chest, which is not allowing me to breathe properly.
So, it goes on the fight goes on for sometime. I try to speak out
or something or…. But I am unable to. And finally when I feel that
it is almost the end of my life then at that time, I gather all
my forces (HG) and hands may be on my chest at that particular time,
I gather all my energies on my hand and just (HG) release it. My
hands (HG) goes up. Now since I am sleep I don’t have any control
on (HG) this hand. This energy whatever I have gained (HG) anyway
it is going ….. it has to hit somewhere.
D: Describe that energy?
P: That same there is a good energy. I have taken
it is going to (HG). This is almost is (HG) now I am still in senses,
so it goes (HG) goes and stops here.
D: But in sleep.
P: In sleep, it is a wall. Goes
and bangs.
D: Describe this energy?
P: (HG) like this.
D: Just describe the energy.
P: (HG)
D: Energy can be described it
mass, movement, direction, speed, force.
P: Yes, it is in that… whatever it is, now it is….
It is…. I feel it is something… some opposite force is on my chest.
Now to counter that force, I have to use more force or energy. I
have to use more force to remove to dispel it.
D: More force to.
P: To dispel it (HG) to throw it away, to move
it (HG). Anything is coming on me (Gesture) to stop it. I have to
use more force, otherwise it is going to push (gesture) me. So,
if my energies…. If I am not using more energy than the opposite
person or that vehicle. Now a vehicle (HG) if a vehicle is coming
opposite direction. (HG) I have a push, I have to first…. Neutralize
(HG) the same force. The same force will neutralize the force,
the more it will push (HG) it. More it will push it (HG). Now it
is on, my chest. I am unable to. I am feeling that it is a dream.
Its pressing me or my body or it is pressing me. I am unable
to take breath, so I use the full force whatever it is there
in my body, I take it, I concentrate on this, hands or whatever
is there on my chest and I just (gesture) push it like this with
force and it goes. Immediately I feel my sleep is O.K.
D: What is dispel? More force to dispel.
P: Dispel means (HG) throwing away. To throw, dispel.
It like (HG)
D: Once more the energy. I am sorry; I will ask you
again and again. Because you are doing it with lot of energy.
P: Yes, yes, full force.
D: And you are banging the….
P: Walls, I have banged many times.
D: No patient has described choking with to much of
energy. So, I need to understand this energy. Describe the energy?
I am sorry, I am asking you.
P: No, its okay.
D: I am sorry because I am asking the same question
and I am happy you are adding something more every time and you
are doing it very sincerely. I appreciate it very much. The term
you said is more force to dispel, throw, repel, push, some vehicle,
something like neutral, something pressing, this much I followed.
P: Whatever thing it is on my chest or that feeling,
that has got a more strength then my normal body has. So whenever
we take breath, it is an open chest, with a certain…. We are able
to breathe, this full stomach and all goes up and down. Now because
of this force or anything, my body is not getting a proper space
to have that oxygen…. For movement, that movement. I am unable to
move my body. It has become a…. we can say that is has become. I
just become a….. Actually that time feelings….. I want to move my
body. Because I can move my legs or hands or anything, just to….
Many times I feel that whether…. That is when I feel that I am unable
to take my oxygen whether I am alive or dead. So, I try to gain
my strength and all energy to dispel that or throw that force away
from my body I use my both hands with that full force whatever I
have gained and (gesture) just push it out.
D: Not angry no…
P: No. It is a Science. It is a psychological problem
at times….. Sometimes I feel.
D: You can be more angry and it will be more solved.
P: It is alright.
D: Your tone is… Please full force, push it away.
Now no need to describe something on the chest, you gather all the
strength, then you want to throw it away or I followed. This action,
full forced push it away, this is not clear for me. Describe this?
P: Same thing.
D: Why, I followed? Why you need to do that, I followed.
If I can’t see and if I want to understand this, describe it. Suppose
you are talking to me on telephone and this gesture and I am asking
what is this? Describe it? Not force, only this gestures. Suppose
I am taking your case on phone. You gather all strength, someone
is overpowering you feel you are unable to move your body. So with
full force, you want to.
P: Dr. when I sleep mostly, both my hands I keep on
chest I am lying flat and that time I had certain feelings that
somebody is sitting on my chest. Naturally on my chest means my
hands below him. He sits on my chest as well as my hands. So because
of that, I am unable to move my hands. I am unable to move my body,
the torso this portion. I am unable to move. Just to…. Or how to
save myself or how to feel relieved, I just use my force full to
throw that thing, which is sitting on my body to throw it away I
use my full hands, gather all strengths on my hands and just throw
it away. Throw it means hands are locked up here, so I use that
force and it is just (HG) throwing that thing away from my body.
D: What is this? Just tell me this, now.
P: (Gesture) This now my body is like this.
D: Not your body. If I say this, what comes to your
mind?
P: (Gesture)
D: This much. Just this much. I am doing it now for
me, there is….. Nobody sits on my chest. Just this much, what comes
to your mind?
P: That is related now. I have not thought of it.
I mean this is a feeling I have got in sleep.
D: What is this, you tell me this much? If I do this,
may be I am banging might be. Don’t matter just this much. If you
see one doing this, what comes to your mind? All the previous thing
you forget. Why you do it followed. How is the feeling of this?
Why so much energy? You gather so much energy and then this. What
is this gesture I am trying to understand? The action, movement,
speed, energy of this gesture. Because lot of energy is there.
P: This gesture this is the only thing which I
can move. This is the only part, which I can move. Otherwise
any……. Particular any energy, I know just moving my hand it is not
going to help me. A sleeping posture, this is the only thing I can
move. Now sleep posture, legs we cannot throw it like this (Shows)[Reminds
me end of birth process ]
D: Why not?
P: Because legs it is not going to help me. That feeling
which I am having, it is on chest.
D: You are using little logic. I don’t want logic.
What is this? This much only. What is this? Energy of this? Now
forget about chest, forget about breathing, forget about released,
forget you have to overpower just this energy. You gather your strength
and to repel something you do this. I am asking, what is this gesture?
You are not saying. I can put logic. You are not overpowering anything.
You are doing this gesture, isn’t it? So what is this? Followed
where my doubt is. You can just remove him and you can be comfortable.
You are not saying this. You gather all your strength to overpower
and this is your action. Best will be you do it once more and whatever
comes to your mind, share with me. Do that gesture once more and
whatever comes to your mind.
P: Now, somebody puts a pillow or anything on my
face, so I wont get breathing…that time I will try to whatever
(gesture) that is, I will try to similarly in this. I am feeling
that I am not getting that….. I am unable to breathe. This is the
best possibility to that I throw my hands away (HG). That whatever
the heavy thing, material on my body. I just push
(HG) it away from my body, with the help of the hands.
D: How does that feel?
P: I get relieved after that.
D: How does that feel?
P: This is a weight (HG) on Body, Heavy weight. Just
to throw anything, to remove anything. I use my hands only.
D: After that, how does that feel, once it is relieved?
P: Then released (gesture)
D: How does this feel?
P: No problem after that I am released (gesture)
D: How does released feels to you?
P: Yes, I am released.
D: How is the experience of released?
P: Relieved. Just now I am relieved.
D: How is the feeling; physically, mentally?
P: I take a deep breath. This is relieved (HG) Okay.
Now everything is fine.
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