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| Hpathy Ezine - January, 2009 | |||||
Carsinosinum-- Dr. Enrique Caturla Martinez |
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| (Editor's Note: This case is followed
by the discussion of the Masi method to develop the essence of a
remedy on Page 2. Please read both to get a better understanding
of Masi's method.) This is a summary of a 30 page long case. The patient is Laura. She was treated for a mammary tumour five years prior (surgery, chemotherapy and radiotherapy). Initially they told her it was nothing. At the time of the 1st consultation there is a relapse of the tumour. When the case was presented, all the participants extracted the same themes but after repertorisation, many different remedies were proposed. The case is also an illustration of how the practitioner conducts the interview without guiding the patient. Laura is the oldest of ten children. Their education was rigid and disciplined. She was devoted and responsible but reserved and did not express her feelings. She loved her mother but considered her father to be an ogre, a bad wolf. She forgives him now for his behaviour towards her, but not for having mistreated her little brother.
‘My rule was discipline. If I am told: 40 days water only and I miss one day it is a failure for me, I did not keep my commitment. When I commit myself it is like a chastisement because if I do not keep it, it is like a failure because when I said something I cannot go back. ‘I am very obedient, I am hyper-obedient, more so than other people.’ The cancer developed when she allowed her 12 year old daughter to realise her dream: join a dance school in Madrid, a dangerous and distant town, against the advice of her family which added to her own anxieties about the separation from her child. She is convinced she carries a responsibility for the appearance of her disease. She does not know what yet, but is determined to find out. If she played a part in the appearance of the disease she is convinced she also has the power to make it go away: ‘I refuse to accept that the disease is there due to Divine intervention.’ She developed a method of self-cure through four days of absolute fasting followed by a special diet. She comes to the consultation on the 4th day of fasting. She wishes that her healing would open a door for her brothers and sisters. ‘If my disease was caused by the course that my life has followed, I would not be surprised if the same thing were to happen to one of my brothers or sisters. I believe I have to be the door that opens for this, it is not that I want to save them, but because if I move forward my experience can help them. That would be a great pleasure, if the same were to happen to one of them that we could stand shoulder by shoulder and he or she could receive what I received.’ ‘It is impossible for me to say ‘I love you’. I fear that they will laugh at me. Although I feel it, I cannot say it. Nevertheless we are ten brothers and sisters who are very close and support each other through and through. One little problem with one of us and we are all there.’ The author of the case highlights two crucial moments: The first words of the patient and the last ones when he asked: how would you like to be from now on, how do you imagine yourself when you are cured, what is your ideal? (Dr. Martinez explains: What is very important in any case is the positive projection of him/herself by the patient. What his/her ideal is, the objective not upset by the disease. What shows in the patient is the individual matrix implanted by the psoric disease which is expressed through life. ) Laura answers: ‘I would like to be more open with people, sometimes I think I am too demanding. Because I am not very communicative, I think it is there that I go wrong, there, in the communication. I would like to share more things because the others also have a right, but I cannot. When I realise this, it is already too late. I would like to be less impatient, more tolerant. I would like to get rid of this shell and be able to hold my brother or sister and kiss them and say I love you. It would be fantastic to be with them like inside oneself, not restrained by rules which were acquired from I don’t know where, but which cannot be broken.’ This is Laura’s nucleus, her matrix and her ideal cure. This is the positive potential she sees in herself and the blockage that the disease puts on the development of this potential.’ Concerning the excess of responsibility, a few examples will show the abundant references in the anamnesis. ‘When I assume an engagement, it is like a castigation, sometimes I ask myself whether I do it because I really want it or because it was imposed on me. I am very much used to doing as I am told and assume responsibilities. What I say, I need to do, because I said it and I cannot go back’ ‘…as if I was God and could solve the problems of others.’ ‘… the burden of responsibility that arises everywhere.’ Dr Martinez indicates this is the patient ‘Carcinosin’; the damned prisoner of the words he/she is afraid to say, especially to the family (hypothesis Dr. M. Zala). Coulter says: they are usually burdened, as if the suffering of the whole world is crystallised in their person. Further, she has many Carcinosin traits: reservation, shows no emotions, rigid education, excess of responsibility, ailments from reproaches, beauty spots, freckles on the shoulder, warts, low height, tendencies to anorexia, loves thunderstorms, heavy family pathology (cancer, 12 years of dementia, heart attack at 46, lung embolism). Follow up. After her first dose of Carcinosin, Laura undergoes surgery and the tumour is found to be cancerous. At the same time her family offers her a flight to India. She is looking forward to going. The same pressure as when the first lump appeared: doubts whether she should go. The doctors told her not to go, ‘you are playing with your life’. She says to herself: ‘Laura, this is not a virus or a bacteria that is attacking you. These are your own cells attacking you. Don’t you understand that by killing your cells you are killing yourself?’ The nurse administering the chemotherapy said: ‘What are you going to do in India? Do you believe that your mental faculties are going to cure your cancer?’ Laura: I am going to India because I want to. This is the first holiday I am going to have in my life and nobody is going to deprive me of it. Nurse: If that is what it is, OK. But if you think your mental faculties are going to cure you, you are stupid. Laura: If you think mental faculties are stupid, just remind yourself what invented the chemotherapy you are giving me, what brought people to the moon. Mental faculties are valid, it depends how one uses them, don’t tell me they are a stupidity. Anyway, I am going to India because I want to, it has nothing to do with the mental attitude that cures. Nurse: Laura, you should pursue your chemotherapy, it is the only way you are going to get better. Laura: How many people die after having had their chemotherapy? Nurse: Of course some die, but 25% get cured. Laura: And these 25%, how much proof do you have they would not have got better without the chemotherapy? Nurse: Nobody knows. Chemotherapy only works if you receive it immediately after surgery. Laura: I have decided to run the risk. What happens will happen. Nurse: You will die; you are playing with your life. When are you leaving? Laura: I leave on the 9th until the 3rd of next month. Nurse: You could have a relapse while you are in India. ‘I said to myself if I tell this to my family they would say I am mad but I feel well now, happy, I am lucky. I will be called a fool, but I think I am lucky in having this illness, I want to take advantage of it to live differently.’ ‘I could have died of an accident since I was 20, when I learned to drive. I drive very fast. I could have died in my bed like my neighbour who was 24. But the most important thing now is that I am not allowed to die until I have a fundamental father-daughter relationship with my father. Now I have the opportunity, and now that according to medicine I have a serious disease and may die in 2-3 maybe 10 years, I want to enjoy life as if I will disappear tomorrow; it makes me feel good, just thinking that I realised this. I don’t know how to take the bull by the horns, I need to change many things but mostly the relationship with my father. We never quarrelled, we never really talked, we never had a relationship. I cannot remember him ever holding me in his arms. Now I feel it will all change, all my values will change, my perceptions, my relations with my brothers,.. (she weeps). It is as if a door is there which I could not see before but I need only to open. How to open it, I don’t know. I am so used to not telling people I love them, I don’t know how to say it. For the moment I am going to India. I will think a lot and work and I am sure that when I get back I will have enough strength to go to my father and tell him what is needed. I am feeling good now, that is important because I need to change my conception of death, I need to change it because If I don’t I will never accept death. I am sure you realise that I already have less fear of dying. Thinking about death affects me less. Before, just thinking about it made all the hair on my body stand up and I thought that accepting death was like giving up, as if not fighting for life, and now I realised that giving in to death is somewhat like giving in to life; if you accept the one you accept the other. It is as if the two are joined up. I cannot explain, it is complicated but it makes sense to accept it. It is like accepting that one must live, and live well, because that is how it is, I cannot explain this to you but these thoughts please me. The remedy has given me a calmness that allows me to think and re-centers me, despite my fears and doubts. I can now see other things and even positive things. Dr Martinez: I remember at the previous consultation you were not at this point? ‘No, it was something spontaneous, I told you I was not ready to accept death. I don’t want to die, I still have many things I want to do but now I understand it can happen and more precisely because it can happen, I have things to change, I cannot leave in the situation that I am in, that is clear. Dr Martinez: Last time you told me you had completely withdrawn again. When you are not well you cannot share anything. How are you about this feeling? ‘I have since said things I would never have said in my life.’ Dr Martinez: And the fear of the dark, is it still terrible? ‘Not as bad but it is still there. I am less worried thinking about it. I am ready to accept sleeping in a dark room in India if I have to. That is a big change.’ Dr Martinez: And your tendency to weep? ‘I weep a lot, many things affect me, I weep in the cinema.’ Dr Martinez: And the constipation? ‘I am always constipated but it does not affect me anymore.’ Dr Martinez: When I asked you last time what would be your cure, you said you wanted to communicate and share more with those around you, be more patient and tolerant, not having a shell around you. ‘I think I have developed some tolerance and patience too. Communication depends with whom, but what I want the most now is to be able to hold a particular one of my brothers in my arms, kiss him. But every time I think about it I am ashamed, because he is worse than I am in this area. He will never be capable of it. I don’t know if I will be able to show him the way. He is the one that was mistreated by my father; I carry his pain, I hold it against my father.’` Dr Martinez: You said you wanted to get closer to your father. ‘Yes, I want to, I don’t know how, but I want to. One day I will be alone with him and we will talk. I will also reunite my brothers and talk to them, but I don’t know what about, about my illness maybe? I don’t know what to talk about but I know I have to. Maybe one after another, maybe all together? Maybe I have to talk to my cousins as well? I cannot see this clearly yet, I am not ready yet, but nothing will stop me. When I decide something, nothing will stop me.’ Dr Martinez: How do you see this conversation, what will it be about? ‘I will tell them that I need the years to come, the time that is left to me, I don’t know how much. I need their support. They have to show me they love me, not only by paying for a holiday for me in India, that shows me they love me, but I would like them to show it in another way as well. I need them to hug me. I want to touch them, to feel them and also ask them to forgive me what I have done, more than a mother. With them I have been more a mother than a sister and sometimes I have annoyed them by being like a mother, and like a mother I need to touch them.’ (Carc: need for affection, need for consolation, need to touch something) Dr Martinez; we need to decide what has changed since last time; how important are the differences? ‘It was mostly a very profound change, mental, spiritual, more than physical. Physically I am as I was. The pain in the shoulder has gone. I feel well but the improvement was mostly internal.’ Dr Martinez: When you say spiritual, what do you mean? ‘Yes, it is something on the inside, something you cannot touch because when you have pain in your back where the kidneys are you know they are there, but this change is different, I cannot not say it is here or there. When I say spiritual I mean something you cannot quantify or feel but I notice it really well. Nearly every day I am satisfied, that is fundamental. I am also not anxious anymore and I don’t think about my disease and when I think about it, it is in a positive way, knowing that I will be all right. I am not down in the dumps any more, I am thinking differently now. It is only during the night there are moments when things aren’t finished.’ Dr Martinez: Are there still things going on? ‘Yes things are still moving.’ Further prescription of Carcinosin. Coming back from India: ‘I am doing very well, it is amazing. I have strong pains in the cervical spine, that is why I am not worried about the stomach any more, but I feel strong, very well, which is the most important thing for me. If I am strong I put up with things much better..’ Dr Martinez: Did you go to India? ‘It was fantastic! I will go back! There were days when I was rebelling against everything, asking myself what I was doing there, in the middle of all these religious ceremonies, me who did not even follow my own and then, on an altar, I found a picture of Jesus and I don’t know what happened inside; it gave me such joy. It was as if I found myself at home. I realised I did not have to go to India to live an experience of inner peace; you can live these moments wherever you want, even at home. I enjoyed the countryside very much. It was marvellous and more so since I have returned home. I enjoy nature much more now. I now prefer much more to be in the countryside. My nephews must think that I have gone mad because when they pick up a beetle I tell them not to kill it. I tell them to look at the ants, the poor things, look how they have to work; they carry all this food because in the winter they cannot go out. The nephews must think I am silly. It is as if I am more sensitive.’ Dr Martinez: Did you suffer seeing some of the poor children in India? ‘Yes, the first night was horrible. I was choking, as if there was no oxygen. The air was pungent in Delhi, once in the mountains, I felt much better. I slept like a baby, one month on the ground in a sleeping bag and I never had any pain in my shoulders. There were plenty of spiders because one should not kill them in India. I kept my eye on them to see whether they were not moving until I fell asleep. I slept like a baby. It is as if I re-charged my batteries.’ Dr Martinez: And the misery? Did you cope with it? ‘Not very well, particularly in the towns, because I realised the children had no future, their only option was to beg from the tourists. I spend most of the month in the mountains. The children there are poor, but they have enough to eat. There were always four or five children around me. I shared my cakes with them. In comparison I had the impression I was rich, which made me feel uncomfortable. But once in the mountains I felt really well, I bathed in the stream twice per day, it was enchanting.’ (Dr. Martinez explains that one of Laura’s themes was compassion and that is why he was insistent. In the answer she clearly showed she can enjoy the moment; she was capable of forgetting what she saw in Delhi, to enjoy nature in the mountains. It is a sign of improvement.) Dr Martinez: What did you do to your hair? (It is cut short.) ‘Everyone had their hair cut short during a ceremony along the Ganges, symbolising a re-birth; one would leave all one’s past there and become born again. Initially I was not willing to go ahead. They could have explained it to me in all the languages they wanted, I did not see the use and I stayed the whole month without having my hair clipped. A local guru talked to me in Spanish and asked me what I ask for when I pray?’ Laura: I ask for my cure. Guru: What are you prepared to give for that? Laura: What is required. Guru: That is not true; you are not even prepared to give your hair, which will grow back anyway. Laura: You are telling me that by giving my hair I will get better? Guru: Did you refuse the chemotherapy because of a fear of losing your hair? ‘This made me think. I really did not see the point of getting my hair clipped off. I thought by myself, “Oh God if you would just give me a sign that I should have it done”. I saw many children that didn’t have their hair cut off, so I told myself “if I see a child with his hair cut off I will do it.” I did not talk about it to my travel mates because it was my pact. At midday another Spanish woman decided to have her hair cut and asked who would join her. I fell to my knees feeling that I should really go ahead but I said, not me. When I went up to her, I saw this 4 year old child with half of his head already shaven and said to myself: “Laura, this is the sign, you should go now” but I still refused, thinking it was a coincidence.’ (The internal fight continues but she ends up having her hair shaved off.) ‘I felt so relieved once it was done. When I came home (four days later) my husband was most upset and I was not allowed to remove my head scarf. But three days later he defended me against my brothers who wished I had not gone ahead with it. Dr Martinez: What would you say was the motivation behind having your hair shaved off? Was it your responsibility to your own pact? ‘Things are better now, it is as if I realise I am too responsible now, but it is who I am, or maybe as if I accept things better, I cannot explain it well. It is as if I am at a higher level, I can now comprehend many more things, as if everything has changed, the vibrations and all. It is maybe because I have changed, but what happens to me now pleases me more than what happened to me say four years ago. I enter into relationships with the same people but it happens differently, I suppose I have brought down the barriers, I have opened things up. It is as if my environment has changed but it obviously happened within me.’ Dr Martinez: What do you think is most important in this change? ‘Accept that I may die, accept death. Still at certain times I revolt but I don’t fight any more, I don’t fight death any more even when I feel unwell, I tell myself: “if life is valuable, it is because of death, what would life be without death?” My life has changed, everything has changed around me, my brothers, my sisters and even my father has changed apart from one brother. I would like to shake him, but then I tell myself when somebody cannot see, they cannot see. What shook me up really hard is my disease. I would like this brother to open his eyes before going through something as terrible as I went through but I think that there comes to everybody a moment when they finally understand what he/she has not understood up to that point.’ Dr Martinez: And in the bad moments? ‘I don’t have any.’ Dr Martinez: and the fear of the dark? ‘I think that in my case this was related to the fear of death.’ Dr Martinez: You said that cure for you meant you were able to say things? ‘It is not important for me anymore, I don’t need to say things anymore because I feel well. I cannot explain this to you. It is not important anymore to me whether I say it or not, because I now understand that people do not need to do what I think or say. What is important now is that I do what I want to do, whilst respecting the others so it does not matter whether I express myself or not. I did not need to talk with my father. He changed because I changed. My change came to him which is normal because he is my father and he loves me. Just by not seeing him as an ogre and understanding that he had had a difficult life, he was allowed to soften because I saw him differently.’ Dr Martinez: You said you wanted to be able to express yourself more easily, say to your brothers you love them? ‘It is still difficult for me, but I don’t get worried about it anymore. I suppose they know now that I love them and that now I love myself as well, so the others can love me as well. It does not worry me anymore.’ The rest of the consultation is spent verifying the physical signs: She eats well now, she has put on weight, not constipated any more, sleeps well. Then she says: ‘I will still keep up my diet: I have to cooperate, even when I take homeopathic medicine. I still have to do something for myself.’ Dr Martinez then quotes Dr. Smiths: ‘Carcinosin has the sensation of having to do something for himself to stay in good health.’ She still has a painful neck and lumbar spine. She has had this all her life. There are no shoulder pains anymore. The pain does not stop her from sleeping well. Her stomach feels bloated at times. Dr Martinez: The spinal pains, the stomach, the mental symptoms, do we still need to treat any of these? ‘I still have to go further in accepting death. I have to be able to accept that I may die tomorrow without it upsetting me. I am much more relaxed than I used to be but I have planted a few trees and I would like to see them grow up. I have this sword/disease hanging over my head and I may not be there anymore in 2 years. This still affects me somewhat. As soon as I can control myself in that respect all the rest will fall into place, but it is still there where I have my battle. I don’t know how it is for other people, but it is like that for me.’ Dr Martinez concludes: “I think we can be satisfied that Laura is on the way to a cure, on the way to her liberation.” It is my opinion that a cure is not like the perfect similimum where all the physical signs just go. In this case there are still the spinal problems and the bloated stomach, but there is an internal movement which is taking the patient to a liberation of herself, which is not the same as obtaining a perfect satisfaction with one’s health. Maybe she will never fully get there, but as long as she makes her way forward… like a plant growing upwards… but knowing this is a liberation. Life is a struggle, it can never be perfect but all is well when there is an upward movement towards a better existence. Eight years after having received Carcinosin several times (no other remedies used) Laura is still doing well and continues to work on her positive evolution together with her daughter and the others around her. There are no signs of the cancer having relapsed. |
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