The proving was carried out at the North West College of Homoeopathy, Manchester.
15 provers. 3 male and 12 female. Age range 20-65.
The clearest, most transparent variety of Selenite was used for the proving. It was the Lapis specularis, as the Romans called it (‘mirror stone’). The proving Directors were informed that the mineral used in the proving came from Brazil. One of the proving Directors (RJ) prepared the substance himself at Helios pharmacy by the process of trituration as described by Hahnemann in his Organon and the Chronic Diseases.
The remedy was given in the 30C potency to all provers, except prover 23, who took the 200C. None of the provers appearing in this proving were given a placebo.
Marienglas, also women’s glass, Selenite or mirror glass (lapis specularis) is a variety of the mineral gypsum, and therefore, viewed from a chemical point of view, calcium sulfate (CaSO4·2H2O) containing high water content. It formed as salt deposits (evaporation of salt water) in seas millions of years ago. It is, among all the other varieties of Selenite, of a particularly high purity (there are no other anions mixed into it). The big, transparent crystals can be easily split into thin lamellas (flakes). It is a very soft mineral. The surface can easily be scratched with a fingernail.
Johan Gottschalk Walerius (1709-1785) gave to this mineral the name Selenite, possibly inspired by its pale blue reflection, which resembles the light of the moon (Selene – Σεληνη). Selenites in Greek means ‘moon stone’. The German name Marienglas derives from its use as a glass substitute in front of images of the Holy Mary and in containers for holy relics. Because it was used for the protection of images of the Holy Mary it was also called women’s glass in certain areas of Germany. The Romans used it as windowpanes because the quality of this type of Selenite was more even and of higher quality than the glass used then. Pliny the Elder (23-79) described in his encyclopaedia Naturalis historia the way Selenite was harvested and manufactured into windowpanes and lamps.
Marienglas deposits can be found in Germany (Bavaria, Hessen, Thuringia), Russia, Ukraine, Turkmenistan, Morocco, Tunisia, Mexico, USA and Australia.
Clarity of feeling. Very defined. Easy access to emotions.
Feeling of not making any apologies for who I am. Do what I want, e.g. don’t pay any attention to guests. At friends – great time there, connecting, intimate, very easy.
Desire to take more of the remedy: “I feel strong physically and emotionally.” (1st day)
Felt happy, relaxed and optimistic.
Anxiety wife coming back – would lose my space.
Very impatient with people. Don’t want to listen to them, want to solve things quickly, not say more – just do it. Don’t want to listen to anyone. “Just shut up.”
Very scatty and forgetful – still not ordered the remedies, it is important, yet I still forget. More impatient, anxious. Felt very ill, fear of being taken over by the remedy, then desire to take more. Went dancing. Confident and in charge, sheer enjoyment, felt girls (women) responded accordingly. Very defined and clear. I could get into opposition with others easily. “Don’t mess with me.”
Confidence, connecting, separateness – never really ‘merging’. Always defined.
Desire to be alone, I don’t want to be disturbed. “Don’t talk to me.”
Everything has to be on my terms.
Withdrawn in an active way. Very inconsiderate. Disinterested in other people’s affairs.
Very concentrated, very clear. I read quickly and retain things well.
Fearlessness, I want to go for it (e.g. taking more remedies). I don’t take any advice.
I feel that I should be strong and dominant.
Clarity about what should be done. Decisive, active, no hesitation. Very clear about what is right and what is wrong. I have clear solutions for everything. Everything is black and white.
Favour hard line approach in the war in Albania. NATO interference correct.
Very focussed. Read a lot and concentrated.
I am not torn from one side to another. I am not trying to please, to be nice.
I feel strong and dominant.
I feel impatient, short with people, I am abrupt, and yet I am scatty when it comes to important arrangements.
Feel lots of optimism, happiness, get a buzz from everything.
Very sensitive to noise and pollution.
Feeling of separateness without feeling detached or alienated. I feel solid as a block.
I feel impatient, “no crap, please.” (day 2)
The dominant side of my character is coming out. Who I am, my strengths. Power and clarity. I am not making any apologies. Real excitement, dynamism, everything feels shaken up.
Fearlessness, really want to go for it.
I mustn’t be impeded in any way, hindered or disrupted.
There is a particular openness which I didn’t have before. I can speak matter-of-factly about private things, “that’s life, that’s the way it is.”
I don’t qualify things, I don’t apologise. (day 4)
Had a great time at the party, I’m giggling, still laughing alone in bed.
With Steve: Talk about genuineness in art, music etc. I was clear and focussed, I was absolutely sure about what I was saying, without being dogmatic. Cultural values are handed down the generations, the ‘message in the bottle’ works. Secret communication between those who advance culture. I could communicate mystical, mysterious stuff very easily.
Very at ease with the students.
I am on a high, this thing is just great. I don’t want this to stop. I want to take more of the remedy. Life makes total sense.
In the middle of the evening it occurred to me: Is this the pathology – that I think that everything is clear, straightforward? It’s not!
My life is blessed.
I am feeling safe and happy.
I want to nourish myself with good food.
Lots of energy.
Lots of enjoyment with others. I want other people around.
I feel and am irresponsible. I feel a real joy at being irresponsible, and I laugh about it. (day 5)[Suspicion, jealousy. Sudden suspicion. Paranoid frame of mind. Desire to be alone.]
Sexual thoughts. Base sex. No complications.
Feeling more cautious now. Worried about who is reading this. A few days ago I would have come out with anything.
Desire to return to regular meditation (previously this had gone completely).
I don’t feel the need to help friends, I have no desire to do so, and feel no guilt about it.
I don’t feel callous, that’s just the right thing to do. That’s life.
I don’t feel like a rock star anymore (like the days before).
I feel that I have to wrench every action from my own selfishness. The basis of all my actions is selfishness.
Everything is instinctively judged by how much pleasure it gives me. I feel my own little smutty selfishness.
I have a dirty mind. I could soil creation.
Is this a remedy for fake confidence? A remedy for those who delude themselves?
I feel as if I have been cut down to size, I’m getting small, shrink, I fall inside, I dwindle. Within minutes I fell from a great height. Pathetic.
I am not there where I think I am – all delusion. (Felt like that as a teenager).
I use any excuse to follow my pathetic animal nature.
Now I feel I live at the expense of my spirituality.
I feel that I pretend.
A few days ago there was a total absence of conscience. Now the superego is coming into play. (day 6)
Thoughts about the house. I realised that I only live in the house, like in a shell, I’m not really connected with it. I am not really and fully at home. (day 7)
Who am I really? Where am I? What if I’m nothing? Uncertainty, as if I’m not fully anchored in reality.
I need to get my life in order, to take control; I let too many things happen to me rather than putting my stamp on it. At the same time I feel sluggish and lazy.
I can’t make decisions. I’m marking essays, could be a first or a fail, I have no idea.
I don’t care what I’m wearing.
My selfishness is under the microscope.
Feel like an irresponsible teenager who only thinks of sex and wants to masturbate.
Obsessive jealousy towards my wife. Before that indifferent to her. [Absent abroad during the proving] [Is this change form total conviction to self-disgust important?]
I felt dirty, had two showers today. I need to come clean, I feel dirty.
I want to smoke even though I don’t like it.
I resist the change and the challenge. I’m just floating along in my own little space. I don’t want to see the issues.
Again very giggly, silly. I don’t want to sleep, much too excited.[This level of self-reflection is not usual.] (day 8)
Desire to tackle issues. Get my house in order.
A kind of homecoming, house issues are coming. I am discovering my own house. (day 9)