It was the evening of our first day and the identity of the substance we were dealing with was disclosed. For homeopaths it may be said that what has been described so far is the remedy picture as far as we were able to unveil it. The next step will be C4 which in this case is no longer part of the remedy picture. In C4 we hope to touch the sacred core of Peganum and allow it to lead us out of the trouble that we were in. Every natural substance, it may be from plant, animal or mineral origin, describes a problem like Peganum here in C1, C2 and C3. However, a plant does not only hold a challenge, it also holds the solution. In the depth of every being of nature rests the sacred healing capacity, the wisdom of how to get out of the problem. It is like in “real” life: The solution of most problems lies hidden where we would not look for it, it lies in the very core of the problem itself.
The next morning we met and shared dreams. Sometimes dreams can be crucial for understanding a substance.
This dream was shared: “Behind a curtain an about 11 year old boy with a huge erection was about to screw my youngest sister. I was quite amazed as the age of the boy and the size of its penis did not seem to fit. I backed away. I was not concerned, there were no emotions.”
When we ponder this dream in the light of our Shameeah findings, it could be an expression that someone under the influence of Peganum might look and act in a seemingly adult manner in spite of an inner immaturity. There is a potential of getting hurt and being taken advantage of for people like the youngest sister of the dreamer who do not have the discernment to see the truth behind the façade. Most of us had to agree that we also had fallen victim to the attraction of impressive fake behavior. Under the influence of the lower energetic levels of Peganum we can leave our immature aspects behind and we can act dangerously mature.
All of us were eager now to get out of the very taxing lower energetic levels. It had been painful. So we moved into C4.
Most of us felt freed. “The lesser ones may kindly move into the background where they may blend with the grass and the trees and come out of where they infect our brains. We are delivered of their tyranny and they become tiny, insignificant and we are free. I have a vision of trapped souls being released and floating upward. These irritants and entrapments serve to keenly drive us toward ourselves. We are claiming our power not to submit to anything created, to be sovereign, neither slave nor servant be. In a grey landscape I see green emerging and the words were: Get up and walk all over the earth!
Everything looks bright. Light infused into the dark, contrasts making the other more brilliant.
Choices. No fear, just wonderment is left.”
The direction that healing needs to go was obvious: It is reclaiming the connections to our physical body and to our emotions and reclaiming our relations again.
“I need to love, to cry, to laugh and to feel again. I need someone, a warm hand to touch my heart. I need a song that reaches my heart. I need substance. I see myself touch the dark soil under a tree and allow the darkness of the substance to flow into me again.”
The spell was broken and nobody felt caught and imprisoned anymore! There was a great desire to go back to family and loved ones. “I am really missing my children. I want to hug and kiss them again.”
“What a splendid day! I have a wonderful feeling of euphoria, of lightness and sweetness. My body is settling in again, I am getting grounded from the spine. I am coming together again. The purpose of this flower was to tell me to trust myself. The warm rays of the sun are illuminating me and basking me in all its light and glory.”
The following is a beautiful and complete healing experience of one participant in which she finds her inner children again as a goblin village. She also experiences the gift of this painful journey: She can no longer be sucked dry anymore by parasitic energies, she now has the power of discernment.
“I see a white, pulsating bloom, inviting. I travel down through the stem into the roots. There is a village there, like trolls or goblins. A road leads out of the village and I know it is for me to follow. The gates open and there is a big open space. It is white, like with sparkly tiny snowflakes. Angelic beings move in the sparkles. I can move into this space in my own pace without being rushed. I can feel my heart healing. ‘You are loved’.
My heart feels lighter now and the bowls are sounding at a higher frequency. The depth of suffering equals the depth of healing. My four-month-old niece’s eyes are suddenly before me. I recognize her spiritual self. I feel an entirely strong bond with her. This is very emotional for me. I am crying. My heart warms. I feel a return of blood flow to my heart. My heart feels full and whole. I can discern now people who are energetic vampires.”
How often have we not struggled with our inner kindergarten, with our emotional pain or with pain in our body! After the experience of having lost them, after having come close to the madness that results out of this not-feeling, we never will complain about them again. We realized how necessary they are for our mental health. We also could see how unhealthy a purely mental approach to life is as it is so often promoted and practiced in business and in science. We found the truth: Not including our human heart is insane! We see in the world the effects of a pure mental approach to life: It is threatening the very existence of human life on this planet. In Peganum we found a herb that can not only survive in the desert of heartlessness but also guide us out of the insanity. May many people find healing through its powerful guidance?
I want to express my deepest gratitude to Linda Miller, the director of the Western College of Homeopathic Medicine in Calgary who is exposing her students to the sometimes challenging effects of energetic remedies, thus giving them a first hand experience of the archetypal path of the healer who dares to go through a disturbance to find the path of healing. The patients of these students will benefit from this.
I want to thank the group of homeopathy students who were so courageous to trust me and follow me on yet another journey into unknown territory. One of them wrote a week after the Shameeah:
Thank you for leading an amazing weekend. It is hard to express in words the depth of what happens in these Shameeahs but they are forever changing and healing. I am entirely grateful to be a part of it.
I want to thank the spirit of Peganum harmale, the Syrian Rue, for opening up to our inquiry and for trusting in our capacity for holding, dealing with and moving through such a difficult energy. Lastly I want to bow to the energies that guide us on these sacred journeys, that bring our attention to those beings of nature that we need in our times to make it through the great changes without damaging the natural beauty of this planet too much.