So, You Think You Know Phosphorus?

When the relationships in Phosphorus’ life don’t work out, it affects her deeply because it brings up her original feeling of being unloved and isolated. She is a very emotional type who experiences strong feelings of fear, disappointment, grief, despair, jealousy and hatred, especially towards the men in her life. Phosporus feels jealous if she isn’t the most beautiful person in the room, which reminds me of the Evil Queen in Snow White. As long as her magic mirror tells her she is the most beautiful woman in the land, she feels great, but when Snow White becomes more beautiful than she, she orders the huntsman to take her out into the woods and kill her!

Mati what is it about Phosphorus, the substance–the “signature”, you might say–that translates into “isolation” in its spirit form?

Jan Scholten could answer this question a lot better than I can, but, the one thing I do know about Phosphorus is that it is a very volatile substance. If you expose it to oxygen it bursts into flames and burns itself out. The remedy Phosphorus also reflects this property. She is volatile emotionally and she tends to put out so much energy that she burns herself out and gets sick as a result. In other words, she can be very emotionally intense. Her emotional intensity and volatility makes her unpredictable, and when someone becomes unpredictable, the people in their lives tend to keep a safe distance; therefore, she gets a sense of isolation, and a feeling that nobody truly loves her.
 

A good explanation. I must confess I had a lot of trouble envisioning the bubbly, fun-loving Phosphorus as potentially “evil”.

Elaine, Phosphorus doesn’t want to think of herself as evil. But, as an example, I had one Phosphorus client who wouldn’t honor anything I told her to do! If I told her to take one dose of a remedy, she took 5; if I told her to wait a week before her next dose, she would wait until the next morning and then take 3 doses more. In addition, she was using the most horrible allopathic medicines as if they were candy, which made it absolutely impossible to manage her case. I finally told her I couldn’t work with her anymore, which turned out to be what every healer she had ever dealt with in the past told her as well! She instantly turned so angry and ugly that within 5 minutes she had me in tears!

Mati, why wouldn’t she honor your dosing schedule?

I think it has something to do with her core feeling. She feels unloved in the family, and there is also the delusion of being stranded on a distant island. She feels very isolated. This is why she is a master at making friends, to compensate for the pain and loneliness she feels inside. Another way to get rid of the pain and loneliness is to use allopathic drugs. There are lots of drugs that can put you to sleep, numb your inner pain and calm your fears. (Remember, phosphorus is afraid of all kinds of things, especially in the dark or when they are alone). So, if friends aren’t available, but drugs are, she can easily get addicted. (I’m feeling better, give me more!) This is how she compensates for the unresolved feelings she came in with.

Homeopathic remedies don’t always work like allopathic ones. They don’t always make you feel better right away. Sometimes you get aggravations which even make you feel worse! So, naturally, she is more attracted to her allopathic medicines, even if she knows the effect is only temporary. She just can’t imagine that a few more pills would hurt anything, even if she does want to try homeopathy, too. The temptation is simply too great! But, unfortunately, it makes it almost impossible to manage the case when she mixes so many different medications at the same time. How can you tell if the homeopathic remedy is working, or if she is only feeling better because she took some other medicine?

Exactly!

And then, if you decide you can’t work with her when she mixes all these different medicines, she will feel so totally abandoned and unloved that she becomes furious. She simply can’t handle any kind of rejection because it always triggers her core feelings of being unloved.

So, the reason why Phos tends to use too many allopathic medicines has to do with two things, a desire to suppress her inner pain and also a desire to get attention (overdosing always creates a lot of attention). Or, if sickness creates the attention she wants, what is the point of getting well? I saw one Phosphorus woman who had developed terminal cancer. She called on all her friends to come and help her, and she finally got so much attention from everyone that she would rather die than give up the attention she was getting – so that is what she did. This is because attention equals love to Phosphorus, and therefore, they are addicted to attention and will basically do whatever it takes to get it.

This same Phosphorus woman (not the cancer patient) also had a Pulsatilla friend who was there for her anytime she needed anything. Once she had someone’s allegiance like that, she would call her day and night–anytime she needed company, a ride somewhere, or whenever she needed someone to pick up her groceries or take care of her pets. A truly high maintenance relationship if ever there was one!

This is starting to sound very much like a certain family member of mine! This family member used to call me so often with an “emergency”, I started to feel like I was under attack every time the phone rang!

Yes, “emergencies”– eventually, it became such a drain on Pulsatilla that she finally told her she needed a break from all the “emergencies” Phosphorus had. She was tired of being awakened at 8 o’clock on a Sunday morning and being asked to go look for some pet that had run away, or whatever. So Pulsatilla told her she just needed some time for herself and her family, that was all. Phosphorus became furious! So furious, in fact, that she wasn’t just nasty to Pulsatilla on the phone, she hit her with her fist one day in the post office, pretending she was just giving her a friendly “How are you doing?” bump, but Pulsatilla said it was harder and more aggressive than just a friendly bump. Then she started leaving Pulsatilla ugly, scary messages on her answering machine, leaving curses and wishing Pulsatilla and her family ill. For weeks this went on until Pulsatilla felt so disturbed that she was afraid to leave her house, and she ended up having to change her phone to an unlisted number!

Yikes, what a story! Plus, it’s starting to sound like half the people I’ve ever known were Phosphorus!

There was also another Phosphorus client of mine who got upset with me for some stupid thing that happened and turned me in to the Colorado Board of Mental Health for doing “psychotherapy”.

What? Oh my God! I think I’ve got a few stories of my own! In fact, I’ve been on a crusade to find out, “Who are these people — these “Remedy People”– who are ‘turning people into the authorities’?” I guess now I know!

She knew they didn’t have any jurisdiction over homeopaths, so she had to make me into a psychotherapist instead!

Good grief!

She lied and told them she came to see me for psychotherapy, and she said I had diagnosed her and made a treatment plan for her. I also heard that she got a local chiropractor, who used to be a friend of mine, to back up her complaints. And, of course, she told everyone in town that I was useless so nobody would come and see me. It took the Colorado Board a year of hassles and investigations to sort it out, and nothing ever came of it! This woman also told me that she went to court and sued some poor guy for money she felt that he owed her. She won the case, but after the case was over, the judge took her aside and asked her, off the record, if she would accept payment in installments from the guy, since he obviously didn’t have much money. Because the judge asked her off the record, she thought his behavior was despicable and instantly filed a complaint against the judge!!!

Egads!

So, if you think Phosphorus is sweet and friendly, you must not have stepped on any of their toes yet, because they can turn on a dime. From now on, if anyone seems even remotely like a Phosphorus to me, I won’t even say hello until they’ve signed my release form!

I found this whole Phosphorus “shadow-side” chilling! As I said, I have a family member who responded very well to Phosphorus in acutes, and is very tall and blonde-ish, very beautiful, charming, regal, lots of friends, etc. who would do just as you describe: She would call and take up hours of my time obsessing over boyfriend issues, and they were always, supposedly, cheating on her. “Why is this happening, why is that happening, what do you think it means?” I would come away feeling drained. I started dreading hearing the phone ring.

Once she needed me to take care of her pets so she could go on vacation. I said no, I couldn’t do it. (I had “been there/done that” with two other friends–probably Phosphoruses– and they did not come back for their pets when they said they were going to, months would go by without a word!) She swore she was only going to be gone for two weeks.

Just call me Charlie Brown….

Three Months Later…

…she came back for her pets, who caused a major flea infestation in my house requiring two calls to the exterminator!

But what she was mainly known for was the obsessing over boyfriends who were presumably cheating, so she would go through their suitcases, their mail, engagement calendars, etc. looking for “evidence” and if she found “something”, a major crisis would ensue with everyone running around in a frenzy, worried that she would overdose on sleeping pills or alcohol. There was an unspoken “understanding” that, “If you’re not nice to me, I’ll take my whole bottle of sleeping pills!”

Oh, and the “reporting-people-to-the-authorities” phenomenon? When one of our relatives was in the hospital, she reported me to the hospital staff for giving homeopathic remedies–I was actually barred from the hospital! Luckily the family physician was a holistic MD and she called the hospital saying the remedies were HER prescription, so the crisis ended.

I had a Phosphorus girlfriend–my best friend, actually–and even as a child, she had been hospitalized with Purpura Hemorrhagica, a disease for which Phosphorus is the best known remedy; she, also, was a tall, thin, blonde; she reported me to Children’s Protective Services for not vaccinating my child–except that that was only one in a laundry list of things that she made up (!) about me! Maybe she was jealous that I had a baby and she didn’t? Who knows! Mati, what is behind this “reporting people” phenomenon in Phosphorus, what’s it all about?

It is very simple. All she wants is love. If you show her, in any way, that you don’t love her, or that she is not the center of attention because of you, she’ll do what she can to take you “out of the picture” (like the Evil Queen in “Snow White”).

Phosphorus is friendly, and Phosphorus does have a lot of friends, but this is just half of the picture, and we always need to look at the whole picture. One of the delusions that Phosphorus has is that she is unloved by her family (that is why she has to find friends instead – I think what happens is that her family tends to tell her the truth, and because she doesn’t like what she hears, she won’t speak to them again).

Well, I can certainly relate to that! This particular family member isn’t speaking to any of us!

She has basically become an expert at finding friends, as a way to compensate for lack of family connections. She is friendly, bubbly, happy, sympathetic and generous, and she puts out an enormous amount of energy towards others.

The problem is, she also has the delusion that she is stranded on an island – in other words, she has a hard time connecting with people on a deeper level. She just wants to have fun and doesn’t like it when things get too heavy or serious. So, even though she is surrounded by friends, she still feels isolated, lonely and unloved inside. This makes her feel insecure, so she needs a lot of re-assurance from her friends, all the time. “Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the fairest of them all?” – her friends are her mirrors. This is why she creates high maintenance relationships. Her friends have to keep proving to her, every day, that she is loved! (So, if you refuse to talk to her on the phone, even just once, you are not proving that you love her, and she will get even with you!)

She gives a lot to her friends in the form of energy, so she expects just as much to come back to her, constantly. In other words, Phosphorus gives love to get love back, and if she doesn’t get what she expects, she turns evil.

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Mati Fuller

Mati H. Fuller, DIHom (Pract) was born and raised in Bergen, Norway and came to the United States in 1985. She lives and practices in Colorado and is author of "Beyond the Veil of Delusions, Understanding Relationships Through Homeopathy." matifuller@hotmail.com http://www.homeopathyonline.biz