Mati, when you say she puts out an awful lot of energy towards others–to receive love– can she become a Welcome Mat? I’m guessing there are certain “friends” for whom she’s a “welcome mat”, and others, like the Pulsatilla you mentioned, for whom she’s very demanding.
Look at the words you just used – “a welcome mat”! A welcome mat is only useful when you walk in the door and wipe your feet on it. Once you are inside, that is another story… (I think you picked a very insightful and descriptive word!)
She becomes a welcome mat for everyone at first, and then it changes as the friendship develops. The more comfortable she feels with someone, the more she will eventually take the person for granted and become demanding. So, this is basically a process that happens over time.
Oh, I see! Let me see if I’ve got this straight. She needs friends so she will be very nice and solicitous in the beginning. As time goes on, she’s less and less concerned about the friend’s feelings and needs.
Exactly!
Do friends of Phosphorus often say, “I felt betrayed, I felt like I was stabbed in the back…I was completely taken aback, I was in shock!” etc.?
Of course they do! It is a big surprise when someone you thought was a friend all of a sudden turns on you and stabs you in the back or turns you into the authorities without warning. (Boy, even as I am writing this, I can think of more and more people I know who must be Phosphorus!)
Here’s what I saw my family member do: totally allowing herself to be used by boyfriends and the boyfriend’s family, like the mother or aunt, etc., being way over-solicitous towards them, accepting thankless treatment from them, etc.; while at the same time, taking advantage of members of her own family, causing them to pay her way, pick up after her, etc.; so, not surprisingly, you can imagine that the family ultimately “snaps” and tells her, “You brought this all on yourself!” (whatever the lastest “crisis” may be).
That is exactly what I have been trying to describe! And here we can also compare Phosphorus and Arsenicum. Arsenicum will bend over backwards to please anyone they need, especially if that person gives them money or security in some way. Phosphorus does the same thing to get love and affection, but once she feels safe with someone, she stops putting out the effort, and not only that, she wants to get back the energy that she put out in the first place. That is why she becomes demanding. So the energy she originally put out, wasn’t really a gift, it was only a loan, and eventually she wants it back, with interest. And if you don’t pay up, she’ll get furious, and if that doesn’t work, she can easily take you to court or turn you in to the authorities.
The biggest problem is this: When the love one gives is not unconditional, the other will feel the underlying expectation and resist giving love back. So, in Phosphorus’ story, she never gets the love she desires, simply because she expects too much! (Not because she has a horrible mate! And not because her mate is abusive or cheats on her, perhaps he is just looking for a way to escape from her demands!) Besides, the lesson she is here to learn is how to find her inner source of love and to stop expecting it to come from others, but if you tell her that, I can’t guarantee the outcome!
So, yes, the normal picture of Phosphorus still applies, happy, cheerful, bubbly, affectionate, but the other side of the coin, “the dark side,” is also part of the Phosphorus picture. (And, remember, all the remedies have dark sides, not just Phosphorus and Arsenicum.)
So, you may wonder, what is the point of describing the dark side of Phosphorus? It wasn’t until I described the dark side to you that you immediately recognized people you knew as Phosphorus.
An important point for homeopathy is this: I always thought this family member was Phosphorus! But when I started observing the jealousy and going through people’s calendars and suitcases and secretly following them, etc., I said to myself, “What is this, Lachesis?” I think the shadow side often looks like another remedy and you can easily give the wrong prescription!
If you meet another Phosphorus tomorrow, is there going to be any doubt about what remedy she needs? You should be able to easily recognize this picture now, both the light side and the dark.
The core delusions of a remedy only show you WHY people do what they do, but the patterns that result from the core delusions create a picture that is much easier to spot in case-taking than to go digging for the underlying core delusion right away. So, don’t worry about what the underlying delusions are – just look for the behavior patterns, and they will show you the way.
Then, there was my holistic MD–the physician I mentioned previously– who may well have been a (yes, red-headed) Phosphorus–who is no longer practicing holistic medicine and has gone back to anesthesiology because she reported a lay homeopath in the area to the authorities for practicing medicine without a license and received the wrath of one of our famous homeopaths for having done so; so, she closed down her practice with no explanation to anyone–again, her patients felt shocked, betrayed– and went back to being an anesthesiologist.
Elaine, think about it: What’s the main remedy for Ailments from Anesthesia?
Oh my God, Phosphorus!
What did the Evil Queen of “Snow White” do?
She put Snow White to sleep!
What does your “family member” keep threatening to do?
Overdose, put herself to sleep! I’m stunned! When I think of her obsession with sleeping pills and tranquilizers…!
When someone threatens to OD on pills, she has real leverage. “If you are not here for me, right now, I’ll kill myself, and it will be all your fault, because you don’t love me!”
If you refuse to play your part and simply say to someone like that, “Why use pills? Hanging is so much faster. Shall I bring you a rope?” Then you will really see what is under the “poor me” facade!
Remember, Phophorus is the Evil Queen. She has to stay in power, no matter what. If an affectionate, bubbly and cheerful personality work, all the better. But if you don’t cooperate with her, you will be punished, for sure! “Off with her head!” cried the queen.
Yes, that is what the queen says! Here’s another interesting coincidence, Mati: The above-mentioned holistic doctor was presumed to be a Lachesis by the homeopath she worked with; so, I just wonder how many presumed Lachesis patients are, in reality, Phosphorus? I note that you say in your book:
Phosphorus perceives reality as if she were someone of high rank, someone important, distinguished, rich (nobility comes to mind). She can be proud, critical or dictatorial in her views if she feels that she isn’t being appreciated or supported enough in the right way.
And Phosphorus simply loves sleeping pills, Elaine. They have so many uses – the main one is that they can make people really nice to you (if you overdose on them, that is). What is the easiest way to get sympathy from others? Create a crisis – that gives you the excuse you need; so, they become experts at creating one crisis after the other.
If she had been a Lachesis as you thought, she would more likely have battled until the other person was “finished.” She would have attacked rather than rolling over, playing dead, or disappearing! Different strategies for different remedies!
That’s a very informative distinction between the two remedies. Lachesis would not want to die, Lachesis would want the other person to die!
Exactly. Animal remedies will fight for their survival.
Mati, I can’t tell you how invaluable your book has been to me in terms of clarifying the remedy images, and I’d just like to add, it makes a great holiday gift!
Then you might be interested to know that I’ve completely re-edited my book! It used to be two volumes? I’ve now condensed the material into one volume and cut the price in half! I have also given it a new cover, new size and new sub-title. Click here to see it: http://www.biggervisionbooks.com/BeyondBookDescription.htm.
You can order it from:
http://www.biggervisionbooks.com/ReleasedBooks.htm
http://www.lulu.com/content/1310420
http://www.homeopathic.com
I also want to offer the homeopathic schools a free copy of my book for review. To request a copy, please email me at: matifuller@hotmail.com
I love the new format, and I would just like to remind our readers that if they haven’t already read “You Try Living With Arsenicum!”, they will surely find it a great companion to this article: http://hpathy.com/materiamedica/fuller-arsenicum.asp.
Come back soon!
Thank you, Elaine.
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Mati H. Fuller, DIHom (Pract)
http://www.homeopathyonline.biz
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Elaine Lewis, DHom, CHom
Anony
The people you are describing sound like they have borderline personality disorder. I’m not a homeopath, but I can assume that to make an assumption that all phosphorus people will “turn evil” if not getting what they want, is likened to labelling a person with a personaliy disorder in the first place. I think it is an over generalization and is not fair to judge and expect all phosphorus people To behave the same. As a homeopath I think it’s is your duty, not to place people into boxes and I feel in this article that is what is being done.
Judith Acosta
Thank you for sharing this. I think it’s quite accurate and a very misunderstood aspect of phos… But you should mention this is Phos. in its syphilitic state, not when it is psoric or sycotic. This is not the way every phos will show up or even necessarily become, even under stress. But you’re right about the rage and love…They are “easily vexed” and struggle a great deal with abandonment as does pulsatilla, lycopodium, sulphur, cyclamen and others.
Judith Acosta
I think the author is right about phosphorous being generally misunderstood. However, the only point that is missing is that this “outrageous rage” is a characteristic of phosphorous in a more syphilitic state. Not every phosphorous has it. Other remedies are equally driven by a need for love, a sense of being forsaken, or the fear of being alone.
The best answer is always: take the case.
dr zeba quadiri
hi! That’s a great work n i liked it very much,im also a homeopath n was only knowin one bubbly aspect of phosphorus,bt this one’s also true.i also agree wid judith’s view dat nt all phos people r the same n it happens in the syphillitic state.thanks a lot for lettin me so much knowledge ,grt job.