Pain Fest!

Mom, hello, wake up, look what time it is!

Shana, for your information, I know exactly what time it is!  What time is it?

It’s time for the Quiz!

The Quiz?  Is it September already?  What happened to August?

August ended weeks ago; we have to get going again, starting, as we always do, with The Death Report!

OMG!  The Death Report!  What a summer this has been!  We lost Robin Gibb, Donna Summer, Jimmy Ellis of The Trammps, Dick Clark, and did I mention Herb Reed of The Platters?

No, I don’t think you did….

Well, geez!  What was I thinking?  The founding member of The Platters, Herb Reed, died in June. Oh!  And you know who else died in June?  The founding member of The Coasters, Carl Gardner! Amazingly, they were both 83!

 Herb Reed, the bass singer, is on the left.

 Carl Gardner is on the left.

These two groups were giants back in the ’50’s!  Let me start with The Platters.  To the extent that “rock ‘n’ roll” could ever be considered elegant or grand, it was The Platters that made it so!  Their lead singer, Tony Williams, standing next to Herb Reed above, was possibly the greatest lead singer of all time, I am not exaggerating!  They had so many hits that picking one to play is next to impossible; but, here they are now, ladies and gentlemen, the incomparable, the one-and-only Platters singing “Only You”:

 

Oh dear! Now I’m all verklempt!  Talk amongst yourselves!  I’ll give you a topic.  Today’s music: obnoxious or pathetic:  Discuss!

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OK, I’m back.  Now for The Coasters.  They were the exact opposite of the Platters!  We used to call them the Clown Princes of Rock ‘n’ Roll!

I love The Coasters!

I know you do Shana; so, please pick out a Coasters song for us in honor of founding member, Carl Gardner.

Check!  Here’s the Coasters with “Searchin'”:

Shana, you are so cool for a 20-year-old!

Mom, don’t forget, this is the part of the Quiz where you post a picture of something you made for dinner, to encourage people–other than me–to eat well!

Right…. Yes, you certainly do set a good example!  OK, so, for the rest of you, here is what I made for dinner last night:

I call this, simply, “stew”.  I served it over brown rice.  It was delicious!  And so easy to fix, it took no time at all!  All I did was cut the stems out of a bunch of kale, I then chopped it up along with a turnip and a yam, threw in some cherry tomatoes, chopped up some onion and threw in some snow peas and bean sprouts and cooked it for an hour–in spring water, of course; plus, things that soften real fast–like bean sprouts, tomatoes and snow peas–should be added at the end; don’t over-cook vegetables.  This will last for several days!  Now, stop eating out at McDonald’s, for heaven’s sake, unless you’re trying to kill yourself.  And now for the Quiz!

Wait Mom, what about a fictitious name?  Let’s name her “Schuylkill” after my dorm!  (P.S. Pronounced “School-kill”, after the Schuylkill Indians–or, more appropriately, a tribe of Native Americans indigenous to this area.)

So, if there are no further points of order….I bring you….at long last….the Case of “Schulkill”:  (called “Pain Fest” because this poor woman had pain coming from all sides!  We’ll let the husband tell it, he filled out the questionnaire):

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1. Describe the complaint

Excessive bleeding in menstrual cycle. Lower abdominal pain and backache. Headache in temple area.

2. Etiology–

Menstrual cycle.

3. Sensation–describe the pain or other feeling you have.

Throbbing in abdomen and temples

4. Appearance–

Bleeding is dark red.

5. Location–

Described above

6. Modalities–What makes your complaint better or worse? Don’t say “nothing”, THINK!!!!!

If she presses/holds her stomach tightly the pain reduces.

7. Concomitants

Headache and thirst

8. Discharges–

Dark red blood.

9. Generals–

Thirst for cold drinks. On a scale of 1-4, a 3.

10. The mentals:

Mentals are normal

11. What have you been saying?

Nothing. Just the normal stuff.

12. What are you doing?

Nothing different.

13. Describe your thirst and appetite–

Thirst for cold water.

Appetite is low. Not interested in eating much.

14. Fever?

No

15. Sweating?

No sweating

16. Odors?

None

17. What is most striking, peculiar or identifying about your condition?

Excessive bleeding, lower abdominal pain, backache, headache

18. Is there a diagnosis?

Menstrual cycle time

19. Describe your energy–

Normal

__________________________________

One hour after taking _______________30C, the abdominal pain was gone and the back pain was starting to ease up.  I didn’t hear anything after that until the next day.  By the next day all pains were gone; plus which, when the pains would creep back, they would again go away when she repeated the remedy: “Her lower abdominal pain, backache and headache decrease whenever she takes ______________30C” to quote the husband. So what was the remedy?  Write to me at [email protected] and let me know!  The answer will be in the October issue of the ezine. Bye-bye! 

P.S.  See “Revisiting: Pain Fest” to get the answer!  Click below:

Revisiting: Pain Fest!