What Remedy Is Sheldon?

Mom, it’s time for the quiz!

Again?

I think my Report will be better this time.

Better? What could be better than your scintillating “reports”?

Remember my report in the January issue?

Wait….don’t tell me, don’t tell me…. Tell me! Oh, right! You didn’t remember Nelson Mandela had died, so you reported on your prom date instead!

This month’s report will be epic!

I certainly hope so!

Here’s my first announcement: “The Scorpions MTV Unplugged” is finally out!

Just what our readers wanted to hear!

It’s on sale at Best Buy and there was an hour of it on VH1. It was the best hour of my life!

It hasn’t been much of a life, has it?

Klaus Meine of the Scorpions

Wow, he does look like Bob Dylan, just like you said.

Told ya! Too bad he’s not Bob Dylan! Can’t you take an interest in Bob Dylan?

I wish I could see them on tour but we’re not near Europe.

Are you sure? Aren’t we right across the pond?

But some classic rock station in New York, Q104.3, is having a contest where you can win either a skype session with the band, a signed Gibson guitar…

Oh! I could use one of those!

…or a signed import package with “MTV Unplugged” on DVD. I’d enter it but I’m not from New York and I hate contests because millions of people are probably entering this thing.

So you’re giving up just because you have no chance of winning???

Speaking of the Quiz, can we do “Sheldon Cooper” from “the Big Bang Theory” this month if you don’t have a real case?

Well, actually….

Mom, I think I speak for Maria when I say that what the Quiz audience wants is another “Big Bang Theory” quiz!

Is that what they want? I seem to be out-numbered.

Yay!!! And now for our first Death Report of 2014!

Should I be sitting down for this?

Mom! You’re the one who told me that Phil Everly died!

Oh. That’s right!

After you told me, I saw it mentioned on the Scorpions official facebook and twitter page.

Good grief! It always comes back to Klaus Meine and the Scorpions, doesn’t it!

Apparently Klaus Meine is a fan of the Everly Brothers.

Which I guess means that now I have to tolerate him!

Don and Phil Everly

Which is which? They look like twins.

Phil’s on the left; yeesh! Even Klaus Meine knows that!

I learned something interesting about the Everly Brothers. You know that song “Love Hurts”? It was recorded by the Everly Brothers in 1960 but everyone knows the cover version by Nazareth.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tFSxYzFwTCY — “Love Hurts” by Nazareth

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2t20w29ji3s — James Taylor and Carole King–“Crying in the Rain”

OK, wait a minute!!!! You’re linking to cover songs??? Why would anybody want to hear James Taylor and Carole King sing “Crying in the Rain”? It never even charted by them!

Mom, for your informaaaation…….”Crying In The Rain” was written by Carole King!

It was?

Yes, it was!

Oh. Well, that’s very different. Never mind!

OK, here it is by The Everly Brothers:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qox-X5zr0lM

That’s more like it!

Mom, it might also interest you to know that “Love Hurts” was written by a man named Boudleaux Bryant. Bryant and his wife Felice were a famous country music and pop song-writing team that also wrote the following Everly Brothers songs: “Bye Bye Love”, “Wake Up, Little Susie” and “All I Have To Do is Dream”.

OMG! They must be cleaning up, cleaning up!!!!! And, P.S., who would name their child “Boudleaux”?

Probably Mr. and Mrs. Bryant. If you’re finished, can we possibly turn our attention to James Taylor and Carole King?

Why?

I just love them, they’re so adorable together!

I can’t explain it but it’s like there’s an unexplainable chemistry between them and I know they’ve been best friends forever.

No one cares, Shana!

Speaking of James Taylor and Carole King, remember when we saw them twice in 2010?

How could I forget? You made me take you to the same concert twice! You should be nominated for the Concert-Goers Hall of Fame!

Well, for your informaaaation, James Taylor and Carole King sang “Crying in the Rain” at that concert!

They did?

Mom, pay more attention! Also, the Grammy Awards has a segment called “person of the year”. James Taylor was person of the year in 2006. This year it’s Carole King and I read that James Taylor is going to be one of the artists paying tribute to her which is a welcome change in the sea of nobodies also paying tribute to her.

Did you say a Sea of Nobodies is paying tribute to Carole King? Is that a new rock group?

No, Mom! The Grammy Awards ceremony itself is a Sea of Nobodies, other than Ringo Starr and Paul McCartney and I find it funny how a bunch of nobodies are even daring to perform the same night as they are! They should be forced to kneel down before the two surviving Beatles and not make fools of themselves.

Paul and Ringo

Which reminds me, speaking of royalty, tell everyone about the next concert we’re going to!

Shana, don’t remind me! We got the worst seats in the house–again— to see Barry Gibb, the one surviving member of The Bee Gees! (plus I don’t understand where we’re supposed to park!)

It’s better than no seats at all. Stay tuned for a full report in June.

Something for our audience to live for.

Anyway, back to the Death Report, James Avery (“Phillip Banks”) from “the Fresh Prince of Bel Air” passed away last year.

It was complications from heart surgery. I know he was overweight but it’s still sad. Who doesn’t remember that show? It’s always on ABC Family at night. I know the whole theme song too. In West Philadelphia born and raised…

Enough! Enough! It’s the most embarrassing theme song in the history of theme songs! Besides, speaking of Philadelphia, one of Philadelphia’s most under-appreciated recording artists from the ’60’s died in January.

Who?

Maureen Gray!

I didn’t even know she was from Philly! I never heard of her until George Frunzi did a tribute to her on WVLT last Sunday.

I can’t believe you never heard “Today’s The Day” or “Dancing The Strand”! I’m shocked! What is this world coming to?

Which one should I play?

You’re looking to me for answers?

If it’s not too much trouble!

OK, “Dancing The Strand”:

Very good choice! Here it is then: Maureen Gray, backed by The Chantels, with “Dancing The Strand”.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iLO-gw93miA

OK, we’re back! Shana and I were dancing!

We looked like idiots!

There is no way you can NOT dance to this song!!!!

Mom, this isn’t Bandstand!

Well maybe it should be!

Has anyone else died?

Yes, and this is very sad. Pete Seeger.

Pete Seeger will be remembered for popularizing folk music in the 1960’s; he also wrote the anthem of the Civil Rights Movement…

Let me guess: “We Shall Overcome”.

Yes!!!! Shana, you truly are The Encyclopedia of Music! My favorite Pete Seeger song was done by the Byrds.

Let me guess: “Turn Turn Turn”.

Right again!!! It’s got one of the most recognizable guitar intros in all of popular music! Here are the Byrds with the classic,

“Turn Turn Turn”:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W4ga_M5Zdn4

That’s a great song, Mom.

Pete Seeger was an antiwar activist, a civil rights activist, a workers’ rights activist, an environmentalist, and, he’s just always been there, his career spanned over 50 years! He was a constant force for good in this sea of corruption we call “the world”! The Earth needs more, not less, Pete Seegers! Good-bye, Pete, and thanks for…

“Passing Through”:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LLRPGfrxTxQ

Nice segue, Mom.

Sadly, we have to put our records away and move on now to…

“Sheldon Cooper” and the February…

Quiz!

Sheldon Cooper

I’ll let you introduce this, Shana.

Thanks, Mom! So what can one say about Sheldon Cooper? He’s a very complex character–a science nerd, a genius by all accounts, a perfectionist…. I notice he demonstrates traits of Asperger’s Syndrome but that won’t help us find the remedy, will it? He lacks empathy, he can’t have his routines disturbed…. For some reason I confuse the traits of Asperger’s with his personality. Feel free to comment with your own observations but here is the clip. The title of the clip is “The Big Bang Theory–Sheldon Cooper Tries to Get a Driver’s License”: