Speaking Of Bedwetting….

Mom, it’s time for the quiz.

Shana, don’t look now, but, it’s our 10th year of doing the quiz, our 10th anniversary!  Can you believe it?

Woo-hoo! Whose case do we have this month?

Ahem! Well, since you ask…..

I wanted to continue our series of quizzes on “the Big Bang Theory”.

Shana, I don’t know how to tell you this, but, the big bang theory is obsolete! I just finished watching the Science Channel and as it turns out, the lastest theory is “M theory”.

What?

Sorry, I guess that makes your show irrelevant. Maybe you should just move on with your timely announcements, your end-of-year wrap-up.

2013 sure has been quite a year, hasn’t it? The last thing I expected to happen was for my friend from high school (you know the one) to tell me he was staying in Philadelphia for a year instead of going back to Minnesota.

This is your end-of-the-year wrap-up? Your prom picture?????

Is there anything wrong with that? In other news, I have yet to see “The Scorpions MTV Unplugged” anywhere!

Quel dommage!

I mean it’s listed on Amazon but it says its temporarily out of stock; then I heard someone say that it’s supposed to come out in January because it’s only on foreign charts right now. How far is Spain?

Aaaaaaaaaaah!!!!!!!!!

What else did I do at the end of the year?

I don’t have the foggiest idea!

I met with my friends at the ice skating rink last Saturday where they were all ice skating.

Except for you.

I didn’t do any ice skating. We found Angie and we all spent a wondrous time together. I know I’m turning this into a year-in-review because I really don’t have anything to say.

Nothing to say? Didn’t Nelson Mandela die this year?

Oh, right. I guess I forgot. You can start the quiz now.

Yeesh! Well, this is the worst year-end report I’ve ever heard! And didn’t you get a new computer?

I forgot that too.

It was yesterday!!!! OK, this might be a good time to start our quiz.

So this is my friend “Mabel” telling me about her 5-year-old who’s still wetting the bed at night. Take it away, “Mabel”:

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Hi Elaine. Speaking of bedwetting….

We were?

I keep telling myself I am going to get cracking on trying to help “Wanda” be night-time dry with homeopathy; I guess I’ve had a lot on my plate and that issue just keeps getting “diapered” until later notice. However, “Wanda” will urinate so profusely that it will seep out of her diaper and wet half the bed!

Yikes! How old is she?

5 1/2. She was nighttime dry from before age 1 until age 3.5, the summer after her father moved out, and then suddenly started wetting the bed at night and “holding” her urine during the day. She would feel urgent need to go and would have to just stand there with her legs crossed until the urge receded, but then she wouldn’t go! And so by the time she finally did go, her urine was very strong in odor. She goes just after falling asleep; first part of the night. Very occasionally she will have a random dry night but there is no pattern, so I can’t count on it. So I’m still diapering three of my four children nightly, where most parents have long said g’bye to diapers. It gets wearisome.

Try a dose of _______________30C.

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So Elaine, as suggested, I gave “Wanda” a dry dose of _______________ 30c Wednesday night and voila! Dry diaper overnight!

No way! Get out!!!!

[2 days later]

Elaine, second night in a row that she was dry again (last night)!

No way!!!!!

Plus, we went to a ballet production of the Nutcracker and she said she needed to go to the bathroom during intermission. Now normally I wouldn’t even know she needed to go unless I saw her standing awkwardly, crossing her legs and focusing until the urge went away. Today? She recognized she needed to go but she had no sudden, leg-crossing “urge”.

Holy cow!

Plus, we walked into the foyer and of course there was a long, long line to get in the ladies room. One kid behind us was crying b/c she was scared she was going to wet her pants. “Wanda” just stood next to me, not dancing around with her urge or crossing her legs, just waiting her turn. It took at least 10 minutes of waiting. Once she got a toilet, she clearly had a really fully bladder, which makes the different urge/holding behavior all the more impressive.

I for one, am very impressed!!!

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So listen, everybody, what is the remedy? If you know, write to me at [email protected], the answer will be in next month’s ezine. See you then!