Hi, Elaine, sorry if it seems like I’ve dropped off the face of the earth; but, between packing and the kids….packing and the kids….packing and the kids…!!!! well you get the idea.
Vaguely. But anyway, who are you?
It’s me, Kelly!
Didn’t you used to work here?
Just tell me what the response was to last month’s tribute to James Brown!
Oh, Kelly, the response was unbelievable! Absolutely unbelievable! Breath-taking!
No one wrote, did they!
Excuse me? I’ll have you know that I’m holding a letter here in my hand right now as we speak!
What does it say?
Dear Mom,
The James Brown edition of “Homeopathy for Everyone” was the best ever! I think it’s obvious that people all over the world want to see more James Brown! Here’s a link to him singing “Prisoner of Love” on the Ed Sullivan Show. This is the greatest homeopathy ezine ever!
Love,
Shana
Well, “Shana”–IF that’s your real name–let’s not keep our audience waiting another second! Here once again, from the Ed Sullivan Theater in New York City, the Godfather of Soul, the Hardest Working Man In Show Business, Mr. Please Please Please himself, Jaaaaaaaaaames Broooowwwwwnnnn!!!!!!!!
Wasn’t that fantastic? Amazing! He’s unbeatable! Kelly, you might want to present your case now. Oh no, not again! Is anyone here willing to go on after James Brown? For God’s sake! OK fine, I can do this by myself! I have cases too, ya know! Let’s see…there’s the kid who sneezes…then there’s the other kid who doesn’t sneeze….Oy vay! Oh, wait! Here’s one! Luckily one of my chronic cases got food poisoning this month! The patient, we’ll call her “Mamie Eisenhower”, (not to be confused with any other “Mamie Eisenhower” you may have read about) had this to say:
Elaine, I ate a hamburger, but not before I burned it in a teflon pan! I was very tense. As soon as I ate it I felt like I had swallowed a rock (or been punched hard in the stomach)! Within a day or two, that feeling did not leave but progressed into a feeling of a pool of acid sitting in my stomach, just sitting there, eating away at the tissue.
Nothing would stop it: no position made it better and eating didn’t make it better, though I kept thinking it would, but, in fact, eating made it worse. Then nausea joined in and headache and body pain and chills. I was shivering. I was also very thirsty for cold water but drinking made the nausea worse and I was also very irritable.
Sounds charming, doesn’t it? Do you know what the remedy is? Please write to me at [email protected] and let me know. The answer will be in next month’s ezine.
