What Remedy Is Marie Barone?

I have sad news.

That’s how you’re starting off the Quiz? Not even a hello?

Hello, Mom. Eugene Pitt died!

What? No way! Oh no! Eugene Pitt of The Jive Five?

Yes! Where’s the picture of Eugene and Daddy?

Hold on, let me find it. OK, Eugene is on the left, Daddy is on the right (Richard Lewis of The Silhouettes):

And I guess this would be a good time for you to tell the “Never” story.

The “Never” story again? OK. It was your first concert! You were roughly a year old, so it meant probably nothing to you that we were going to see The Spaniels, The Jive Five, Baby Washington, and God only knows who else was there. Anyway…

But first I have something interesting to share…

Do you have to share it now?

it’s kind of related. Back in the 80’s and 90’s, Nickelodeon had doo wop bumpers. Don’t know what that is?

Not really.

Look at this.

Oh, station ID jingles!

Anyway, apparently Eugene Pitt was part of the team that wrote and sang on them.

Wow! I had no idea!

These bumpers were genius. Kids got exposed to Doo Wop without even realizing it!

And then they never heard it ever again.

You can tell the “Never” story now.

I’ve forgotten it.

Mom!!!!

OK! You and I were backstage, probably looking for Daddy, when I spotted the Jive Five climbing the stairs to their dressing room, and I called out, “You didn’t sing ‘Never’!” I was very disappointed because it was my favorite Jive Five song. So they sang it right there on the stairway for an audience of one! Here it is now, “Never, Never” by The Jive Five. RIP, Eugene.

Do you have anything else to say?

In happier news, Scott Freiman, the guy who makes those educational Beatles movies and is also my Facebook Friend, just announced that his new film will be out in a week!

And now, fasten your seat belts for another, great and fabulous, famous-person, Hpathy Quiz!

And we have you to thank for it! I have been wanting to do a Marie Barone quiz for ages! This is Marie and her husband, Frank from “Everybody Loves Raymond”, a great show you should try to find–so well written!

There are no full episodes of “Everybody Loves Raymond” on youtube, so I was in despair of ever doing this quiz!

But you, in your magical way, found–not only a complete episode–but the best one, namely: “Robert’s Wedding”! I don’t know how you did it!

Above, from left to right, Robert, Frank, Ray’s wife Debra, Ray and Marie.

OK, so Marie Barone is Robert and Raymond’s mother. By all rights, she should be a “Jewish mother” but she’s Italian–and I hear that’s pretty much the same thing!

She is very controlling and constantly interfering in people’s lives, especially her grown children’s lives! She comes off as very sweet, but everyone’s afraid of her! She’s manipulative, shrewd and scheming. She subtly pits one person against the other. She can be insulting with a smile on her face, so you can never be sure that it wasn’t just YOU being over-sensitive or misinterpreting what she said or meant; she always has an “out”! You can imagine that she thrives on the chaos and misunderstandings she creates!

She always does just enough “right” to make you feel bad that you ever thought ill of her! Maybe they call this kind of behavior “gaslighting” (based on a movie from 1944 called “Gaslight”). Definition:

verb (used with object), gas·light·ed or gas·lit, gas·light·ing.

to cause (a person) to doubt his or her sanity through the use of psychological manipulation

So, OK, Marie was in rare form in this episode! Her oldest son Robert was getting married to Amy.

He was very nervous before the wedding so he went to the men’s room to be alone and catch his breath; so who should walk in? Marie!!!! Yes, Marie walked into the men’s room!!!!! “Oh, hello, Robbie, Raymond told me you were in here.” I mean, think about that! What is the message here???? First of all, “You can’t get away from me!” Am I right? “You’re not safe anywhere, I will always find you, and I don’t respect boundaries!” Also, “You’re still my little boy, you must be if I can be in the bathroom with you;” so, “You belong to me, even if you think you’re getting married–you’re still my little boy.” Yikes!

So, as a side note, Marie’s not the only psycho in this episode, Amy’s brother Peter, played by Chris Elliot,

was supposed to pick up the minister for the ceremony, but, of course, he didn’t! He didn’t want his older sister to get married. The minister wound up having to hitch-hike, making him late! So when the wedding finally starts, and the minister delivers the famous “If anyone knows why these two should not be joined together in holy matrimony, speak now, or forever hold your peace” line, guess who stood up and stopped the wedding? That’s right, Marie! (Ostensibly, just to wish them well and give a little “speech”; but of course, Robert and Amy were horrified.)