Age: 16 years old
Chief Complaint: Difficulty in breathing since childhood ( K/c/o Bronchial Asthma since childhood)
Tell me the problem?
I have Asthma since childhood. I feel Shortness of breath and difficulty in breathing .It increases on climbing stairs and in the evening, while eating and it worsens especially when lying on the left side.
In what way does the problem affect you?
It restricts me from doing what I want to do. Who likes to take inhalers every morning? I have to depend on that as, unless I take that I can’t do anything.
Talk about Restrictions?
I don’t like to be told to do this or that. I need my freedom. Sometime back I had a major fight with my mother and I left home.
Tell me about that
She had chucked me out of the house and she hit me and removed me out of the house, that is why I failed in so many subjects.
What was the impact of that on you?
The impact was that I did not have money. I felt lost, I didn’t have any place to go because I don’t have anyone apart from my mom.
What was the feeling with which you left your home? What was the experience?
Initially I tried pleading her to let me into the house and she told me that I’ll let you come into the house only if you follow whatever I say. But I am someone who has not listened to anyone. I’ll just do whatever I want. I’ll not be bounded by anyone.
She told me that you won’t be able to survive in the world outside. I have done so much for you, if you go outside you’ll realize what life actually is, no one will give you a job you’ll not even earn 5rupees. You’ll come back to me.
How did you feel?
I took it up as a challenge like I felt bad that my own mom is telling me that I am not worth anything, I cannot manage myself and that’s how I started off.
With what feeling did you take up the challenge?
Because I don’t like anyone telling me that I can’t do anything, I don’t like anyone challenging me like saying you are really not capable of doing so .
What is challenge for you?
Challenge to me is I don’t want anyone to undermine me, I don’t want anyone to look at me as someone low or someone who doesn’t know anything or someone who is useless.
To be looked at someone low feels how?
I am not asking you to give me respect. I am just asking to treat everyone as a human.
If not treated like a human being, how did you feel?
Treating persons as humans is one basic thing to know, not like a
Not like a?
Not like someone who is unworthy of being a human.
Like what /whom?
It is like treating like a slave, in a inhuman way, considering them as a animal
How does it feels to be treated like a animal or a slave ?
It doesn’t feel good and you want to be set free.
How is the experience of Not free?
Not free feels like caught by someone
Talk about caught
Caught feeling is like you have to do whatever you have being told.
Talk about experience of caught
Caught is being bounded by something or someone is controlling you
How does it feel being controlled by or someone has caught ?
Tell about exasperated
Exasperated is like you feel tied up
Tied up and exasperated experience?
Exasperated is being caught, being bounded and it’s troublesome. You feel breathless you’ll feel up to the neck and you don’t feel comfortable
Breathless and up to the neck experience?
Like someone is strangulating you, they are your masters
How does it feel that master being there and you being strangulated?
doesn’t feel good “jaise dhum ghutha hai”, its like someone is strangulating you and i have to do whatever i have been told
Strangulated experience and dhum gutna is how?
It is someone catching your neck and pulling life out of you. You have to do something about it that you don’t lose your life and set yourself FREE
Tell about free
free is you are much more peaceful and you are at your own liberty to do that always what you wish to do
Be in that moment of free that you showed with your hands, Show that, Experience was how? (Hand Gesture)
it’s being caught, you are being smothered by someone that pulls life out of you. you just want to be free and you just want to completely relax your mind.
You were telling me about some politics in the office
Office scene is wherever you go, if you are good you are always compared with others. fortunately I was more good than the people working over there since 6 months/ 1year / more. So everywhere I went people would not let me free, there would be a close watch on me they were waiting to find a fault to take action against me like demount me or throwing me out of the company, something like that. People do not digest the fact that someone is better than themselves in this country. People are not happy when others succeed, whether they succeed or not it doesn’t matter they have to pull the person who are climbing up and that is how people work here. They will be sweet to you in front of you, later on they will go tell to people who are concerned bad things about you like that they know about you which shouldn’t be known to others.
Any incident happened?
I had added 3 months experience in my resume to get a job and had told about it to one of my friend. But this guy was always JEALOUS of me. After the training when we both went on the floor and started taking call, his scores were not as good as mine. So what he did was he WAITED till the training got over and one fine day he went and revealed to the HR that I had added 3 months more experience in my resume and cheated the company . He disclosed an information which only he knew about me and used it against me as a result of which I was asked to resign.
Why do you think he did that?
What he thought of doing is completely remove me from the system so that he can go ahead so he told the HR and I got fired, my job was taken away. This guy exactly planned everything . The worst part is you don’t even know who it is and at the end of the you suffer, No one wants you to get succeeded .
What did he do? What was his intention?
basically after the training, when he saw me going higher than him, his pride went down. i guess he felt insulted i don’t know. he could not see me going higher than him. so he wanted to pull me down. i have realized that the whole world is like this. you should not turst anyone. you shouldn’t reveal about yourself because the moment that you reveal anything then at any point of time if anything goes wrong between both of you, that person has the upper hand because he or she can put you down or he or she can manipulate because they know about you. same way this guy was waiting for moment to chuck me out. he couldn’t digest that i am going above him and so he backstabbed me.
What is Backstab?
Backstab means to say that you act good in front of a person you make the person feel like you are his/her well wisher & behind that person’s back when that person is not aware you are doing something that will pull that person down some way or the other.
Tell me about your Dreams?
I get this recurrent dream as if I have fallen off a cliff and I am rolling down. I am falling into a valley
What is the feeling then?
I am rolling off a cliff. At the down it’s just a deep valley and I am rolling and I am gone. It’s a horrifying experience .One or two times I have suddenly got up, then I realized it’s a dream.
Any other incident which affected you?
I had a girl friend and said she too was the same. I helped her a lot to get her a job, got laptop for her, but I didn’t even realize that she was double dating me. And one day she came with a boy, whom I didn’t even know and started telling me that its over between us and that I should give her my memory card of the phone as she thought I will MISUSE it against her . And said that she has all police contacts and she will use that if I misuse her information.