49-year old Female
Chief Complaint: Metrorrhagia
Initial Consultation: Early July 2014
I’m trying both western and Chinese medicine, but I’m not getting any relief. Medical doctors are recommending a D&C (dilation and curettage) procedure. It’s gotten to a point of desperation. I’m experiencing heavy bleeding like I’ve never had before. It goes for months on end. It’s surprising to see how much clotting there is. It’s gel-like. Handfuls come out. It’s shocking. The color is dark red. Big clumps. I’ve miscarried before and it’s a similar consistency.
[Client explains she’s head of a division for a multi-national corporation, travels internationally frequently, and thus has a very stressful and demanding job. Specific information excluded for anonymity purposes].
I do yoga and have a spiritual practice I’m very involved in. I look for divine wisdom and to seek to clarify these obstacles as stepping stones, not to be defeated or depressed or to think the world is against me. Prayer helps me forgive others.In my job, I feel responsible for the people who report to me and for their growth and development.
I have dreams of lions. One time it was holding a piece of meat and tore it into three pieces. It reminds me of the time (in waking life) I was selling a business to three buyers. One buyer was a friend who turned on me during the process. He succumbed to greed, control, and domination. In the dream, the lioness wanted to pounce, but restricted herself. The feeling in the dream was terror. These partners found a way to take control and dominate the company, taking my friend with them. We ended up conceding and giving away the business for pennies on the dollar. Trust was breached. They turned animalistic once money became involved. I felt resentment, anger, and shock.
Forgiveness is important. I felt absolute terror. I couldn’t move when all that happened. I felt crushed by that force. I was cornered. They had ill-will; it was a blood thirsty situation. I tend to be an overachiever. I need to be in a situation where my ability to grow is present so I can move on. (The client spontaneously jumps to talking about her parents). Speaking of feeling cornered – every major decision I’ve made they have not agreed with. But, I’m not defined by it. I just get more determined to follow my internal compass: my career path, my marriage, my choice to live abroad and work in this business. They’ve tried to block me in all of it. And so I’ve felt cornered by them. It wasn’t their place; or their right. Everyone has their own life to live. They betrayed my trust – I felt cheated by them. Their level of dishonesty is outrageous. We haven’t talked in over 10 years.
I ask her to tell me more about betrayal of trust since it’s showed up in the major business transaction that has affected her, as well as at her core – the betrayal she feels from her parents throughout her life.
They took my choice away in so many things. Roads were cut off. And they’d never talk to me about any of it. It’s so unjust; so wrong. No one has the right to do that. They said they’d support me in things, but I’d always feel the ground under my feet give way. Even when I do achieve great things, it’s never acknowledged by my parents. When I moved to a foreign country, my mother said she didn’t think I’d succeed, or even learn the language. Either I needed to become what they wanted me to be or I needed to completely rebel. I won’t engage in this abusiveness. I always end up crying. It’s oppressive. No matter what I do, I feel judged; am constantly rejected; just don’t measure up.
My vision the last 6-12 months has significantly decreased. Left eye is worse.
The past month I’ve felt arthritic in my hands – happened quite suddenly.
–End of Case–
My client was having severe metrorrhagia. It comes and goes, but has progressively worsened over the course of a couple years to the point where she bleeds for weeks on end, and sometimes for several months in a row. The onset of the worsening of symptoms coincided with a business transaction gone badly. The feelings she felt over it: betrayal, rejection, and feeling subjected to a “blood-bath” of greed and control, were the same feelings we uncovered which she has felt from her parents her entire life. Such a primordial wound has showed up as a befallment in her career endeavors. The mounting stress in her life on account of that has showed up with the metrorrhagia symptoms. She’s literally lived in this kind of blood bath for years, if not her entire life.
Rubrics Used (Schroyen’s Synthesis Repertory – 2009)
Female Genitalia/Sex – Metrorrhagia – continuous
Female Genitalia/Sex – Metrorrhagia – profuse
Female Genitalia/Sex – Metrorrhagia – bright red – clots, with
Female Genitalia/Sex – Metrorrhagia – painless
Mind – Ailments From – neglected, being
Mind – Ailments From – criticized; from being
Erigeron Canadense: I don’t know much about this remedy, but after studying material medica it is known to help with hemorrhages which are worse from motion. Profuse, bright red blood, worse from exertion. No mental symptoms seemed to match my clients, though.
Sabina: Known mainly for complaints of the female sexual organs. Profuse uterine hemorrhages. Bright red blood with large black clots. These symptoms seem to fit my clients very well, but Sabina is also known to have pain, which my client does not.
Secale: its main sphere of action is on circulation. Profuse, painless hemorrhaging. Continuous passive hemorrhage of dark, think blood. Even though Sabina matched the kind of blood my client had, I leaned more towards Secale because it was painless and passive hemorrhaging. I’ve helped clients with PCOS with Sabina with great results, and I would have liked to have seen similar symptoms in my client in order to give her Sabina.
Secale 200c, one dose about 8-10 hours apart for three (3) doses total.
Follow-Up #1 – Mid August 2014
It’s going well – thank God! I don’t understand it, but it’s a mystical journey; the results have been astonishing. There’s a tug of war between two selves, but I feel I’m emerging. At the beginning, I didn’t know what was going on with my womanly issues. I feel as if I’m becoming a girl again; my true self. I can’t believe my pain has stopped. Even pains I didn’t know I had are slowly dissipating. Brilliance and clarity are coming back.
I had a dream of a spiritual experience. I felt connected to the universe. It was so powerful. The colors in the dream were so brilliant and had so much clarity. It felt like a “casting out the demons” process. There was water, cleansing, purifying. It was indescribable.
I ask her to tell me more about ‘becoming a girl again?’
Even with my symptoms, I didn’t feel I was suffering, health-wise. Before, I just thought they were symptoms of getting older. Now, my skin feels as if it’s being nourished from within. There’s no itching or dryness. Also, I’ve always felt like a slave to sweets, even back into my 20’s. It was so hard to control. Now I feel I can take it or leave it. This has been a lifelong prayer of mine.
I have not had any bleeding for one month and three days. This is such a feeling of liberation! It’s taken me back to feeling like I’m 13 years old – when I had my first experience with my period. It was traumatic. My mother needed to be called by my Physical Education teacher. It felt punitive from my mother. I was made to feel humiliated, and shameful. If I ever had a daughter I would celebrate it as an opening of an age. I’ve carried those feelings associated to my period all this time.
I also tried connecting with my parents for the first time in 10 years. It felt really good. I sent them a card that said simply that I love them, that I’m grateful to God for everything, and that I’ll always love them. My aunt reported to me that it has meant so much to them!
I ask about her arthritic joint pains
They are there, but not as strong. Sometimes I can’t pick up anything or twist things. It can feel crippling. Now the pain feels as if it’s moving all around the region of the hand rather than just staying in one place. I have broken bones in my right foot. After the remedy, I was amazed to find I felt no pain there!
As of a few days ago, I feel a relapse into previous symptoms. My skin feels uneven and dry. Internal organs feel a light ache. My sweet tooth is somewhat returning. I feel like I’m living one step in my old fatigued self and the next step into my new, whole self. It’s a tug of war between the two selves. On one hand I feel energetic and content. On the other, it feels like two steps forward and one step back. Thank God I haven’t bled for 4 weeks. Strangely, though, I have felt stiffness returning through my hands, like I’m trying to work something out.
I’ve been sleeping very peacefully since taking the remedy, but before it I’d have dreams of running the last third of the night. I’d feel breathless, wild, and fearful, with panic. I was trying to shake off whatever it was that was chasing me, and it wouldn’t let go. I was trying to escape but it kept finding me. It felt fearful and panicky.
She’s clearly had a great response to the remedy with her reports of healing trauma dating back to the age of her first period. There’s been much forgiveness of her parents, and she is left with feelings of love for them. To use her words, the changes in her chief complaint have been “astonishing”. Two days after taking the doses of her remedy, the bleeding has completely stopped and hasn’t returned. Although, some relapse is occurring with her sweet tooth, pain returning or stagnantly moving in her hands, and some fatigue returning.
To boost the remedy, but in a slightly stronger potency, I have her “plus” the remedy in the following way: Secale 200c plussed in 4 fluid ounces of distilled water, taking ½ tsp of the solution approximately every 12 hours for 4 doses total (stirring the solution vigorously for about 10 seconds prior to each dose). This is a standard plussing dose I recommend for clients.
Acute Care Call #1 – Late August 2014
After taking the doses I had very colorful dreams with much fear arising. I woke up breathless as if running all night long. A man who only I could see approached me with undoubtedly a harmful intention. My husband and son were nowhere to be found. I shaped my hands like two guns, and the man veered off. I then saw in the soft light of the sunset three figures – my father, mother, and brother. All three sneered at me in a strange delight at seeing me in danger. My father was mocking me. I was hurtled awake filled with complete horror and exhaustion.
Also normal premenstrual symptoms began, including light bleeding. I’m hopeful of completing this cycle without a relapse.
Analysis and Plan:
I suggest the remedy is helping bring up latent fears and anxieties that could be related to her chief complaints. I advise her to wait on any dosages for now.
One week later
I woke up to intense fear and a caved-in chest that left me gasping for air. Even my chest ribs hurt. I took Coco for a walk to buy some fruit. Though I’ve done this a hundred times, today I felt petrified that everyone was staring at me. It was a colossal task to make it home. Thank God the lady at the fruit stand was kind; I might have collapsed otherwise. I thought I just needed some down time. Friends were coming over, so I asked my husband to take over while I stayed in my room. Afterward, my son, my husband, and I headed out to a mall for dinner. I still did not realize something was terribly wrong. I could not sit down at the sushi bar, so we waited for a table. Even there, I began gasping for air again. I could not bear to look at people. I started weeping. We somehow made it outside into a taxi, as my sobbing escalated uncontrollably and my husband held me. At home, all I could do was curl up on the chaise lounge, weep nonstop, and stare at the city below.
The past 5 days have been like a normal cycle of bleeding with just the faintest traces remaining today. I made it to the office this morning in a taxi. I continued to experience waves of fear and a caved-in chest all day. By mid-afternoon, the waves grew unbearable so I went home early.
Analysis and Plan:
Since she had a normal menstrual cycle this month – her first in years, I suggest waiting on any further doses. I also mention she’s having a healing reaction and is resolving deep-seated emotional trauma experienced from her family of origin. As difficult as the symptoms are for her to experience, I suggest waiting longer, but I ask her to keep me updated if the anxiety/panic/caved-in feelings continue to persist at high levels of intensity.
Follow-Up #2 – Late September 2014
Old symptoms are returning: huge clots of blood are coming back. I haven’t had since the summer. Right after the last dose I had panic attacks with a very heavy feeling. I’ve never had these before. I couldn’t look at people – it was scary. That’s a lot less severe since then. Now my heart will start beating, I can’t breathe; I feel the weight of the world. It feels as if my ribs are caving in. I couldn’t look anyone in the eye. I was paranoid everyone was looking at me. I needed to be totally by myself, or off to the side if I was in a restaurant in public. I couldn’t interact with anyone other than my family. I walled myself off from everyone. I wept so much, like a river. That happened a couple of times. When I weep like that I feel so much better.
The people here are so nice, kind, and gentle. But I just felt like they were judging me. I’ve never felt that way here. I felt as if everyone was judging the way I look or talk or act. I’m fluent in the language here, but I could absolutely not face anyone. Even now, I feel I don’t have my voice. I do a lot of teaching in my job, but my voice was just gone. My voice recedes. It’s frustrating. I’m trying to scream out to people to tell them to leave me alone; stop mocking me and judging me. It felt crushing to me, like I’m failing a test. I want to please everyone, but I’m not finding a way, no matter how much I try… It goes back to my parents.
I didn’t find out about things until years later the things they did to me. In college I had an internship in New York City. I invited them over to have some fun. I was so excited to take them out to all the cultural things. I saved up all my money so I could treat them. It wasn’t until 10 years later that my mother said it was the worst night out she ever had! I could take the best experience I could give them and it’d never be enough to please them.
I was in a beautiful holy day celebration with a small group of friends. But, these grey monkeys were sitting on top of my head pulling my hair and screeching. I had a contrast of feelings because this was all happening in such a place of beauty.
Some clotting and metrorrhagia symptoms are returning. She’s had very intense panic and fear symptoms arise with the caving in sensation in her chest and ribs. When I ask more about that, it led back to her parents and their lack of love and support for her in multiple ways. After the remedy, she said she felt judged and mocked by those around her and her response was to retreat and be by only those she trusts: her husband and children. This is the same mockery and judgment she’s received throughout her life from her parents who don’t believe she can succeed, or who don’t approve of her chosen life decisions in career, or where she lives (in a foreign country). In my assessment, she’s working through deep-seated trauma from all of that which continues to impact something as fundamental to her life as a woman in the world: her menstrual cycle.
Also, in her dreams, there’s still a split between this peaceful, beautiful aspect to herself. But, it’s plagued with this nagging, screeching “monkey on her back,” which is the trauma left over from her parents. She’s better, but her dreams tell me this stuff is still plaguing her.
I recommend she re-take Secale 200c (dry pellets) one dose only to re-harmonize her vital force from all the healing aggravations she’s been going through. I contemplate moving up in potency to 1M, but feel she’s still getting a lot of response at the 200c potency level. And we need to exhaust that level first before moving up.
Follow-Up #3 – Late October 2014
I’m doing pretty well. This month has been a lot better than the previous one overall. There have been no severe episodes. The character of the episodes is different. Before I felt the caved-in chest feeling. But, now my lungs feel like they’re burned out, like I’m breathing in chemicals. There’s still fear in going out in public, which has been strong the past couple of days. We just had a big event, a grand opening of store. This was a big deal. I lead a session with the media. But it went very successfully. Now it’s back to reality with everyday business. I feel overwhelmed by it.
The different character to the fear episodes is that they’re not disabling. Now I just feel like work is stressful. One of my star employees just discredited me publicly in front of a group of people. She said we had made a wrong decision and will lose a lot of money. I’m overwhelmed with work right now. It’s hard to focus on driving projects from beginning to end – there’s just too many things going on. I’m going to be traveling soon and take a 3-week pilgrimage for our faith tradition.
It’s the same hurt I feel from my family. I feel like I need to be a warrior going into battle to counteract the injustice. I feel very strongly about women supporting each other in the workplace. I want to help my employees encourage each other rather than step on each other’s toes.
Feelings in chest?
Before it was a pressure going inward. Now it feels like a spiraling outward; it’s circulating. Before I’d break down and cry. Now it just puts me in a spin and throws me off. It saps my energy. It’s related to losing my voice. Since taking this remedy I go through times of not being able to speak. It takes me back to my dreams. I try to make such an impact in the world; I’m shouting but nothing is coming out.
I now have three days of bleeding, then 4 days off. I had a big flooding after going on a bike ride recently. That was scary, but it’s never been as bad as the time when I first sought help.
I dreamt of a flood. It felt tragic and sad. After the flood there were people on different islands everywhere. The tragedy of it feels like there’s so much potential, but also so much loss. I have had dreams of floods for 25 years. They’re simultaneously tragic and joyous. I think it related to rebirth and renewal.
She’s doing much better than the upheaval that transpired from the dissolved doses. She seems much more balanced. But, her symptoms are changing. The intense panic/fear is less, and now the sensation has shifted to one of being outwardly focused. She’s still sensitive to the slights from others, but feels more proactive about doing something about it. The metrorrhagia symptoms are back, although nothing to where they were before starting homeopathy. Her dreams indicate she still has this split self to her. On one hand, she’s good, and on the other there’s so much pain, strife, loss, and tragedy. This tells me she’s improved in an overall sense, but not cured.
I think she’s ready for a stronger potency of the same remedy to help further cure the chief complaint and continue to support her in healing the deeper-seated emotional trauma from her parents. As such, I recommend she take Secale 1M every 12 hours for two doses total.
Follow-Up #4 – Mid-January 2015
Note: It’s been about three months since her last appointment.
The pilgrimage was great, although so frenetic and chaotic. I reached a big milestone a couple of weeks ago. My hormones cooperated and did what they were supposed to do. I had my period and passed a very large clot, but then the flooding stopped after a week. It just shut itself off. That’s the first time that’s happened in over a year. I’ve been free from flooding since. The pilgrimage was an emotionally powerful time. I connected with friends spiritually. The beauty and grandeur of the place was overwhelming; beauty beyond belief. I was overwhelmed and immersed with happiness. Tears of joy. I still get these fearful attacks in the evening out of nowhere. Heart pounds. Chest feels like it’s caving in. But, it’s overall very tolerable. My next period should be in about 2.5 weeks.
Analysis and Plan
She’s better overall, menstrual symptoms are more regulated; fearful/panic attacks are still there but are much less in terms of frequency and intensity. I recommend waiting on further doses for now.
Follow-Up #5 – Early July 2015
I have not had any bleeding since December. I feel emotionally and physically restored despite minor setbacks that bring on oppressive feelings again. I just turned 50 but in some ways I feel more clarity and assurance than when I was younger.
Analysis and Plan
It’s been about one year since my client first started treatment. Based on her last response, her health has been restored and she is feeling more clear and filled with assurance than when she did as a young woman. I consider this a cured case from Secale and I recommended her to reach out to me for any further help, as needed.