Hi Elaine, I did a case the other day, for a woman we’ll call “Barbara”, with psoriasis. She always wanted to be pretty, so she had to keep hiding all her psoriasis spots with clothes and her hair. Her story was that her father left when she was about eight and shortly thereafter the psoriasis showed up.
After the father left, the mother got clingy and demanding and wanted the girl to sleep with her and be her little girl forever.
Mama mia! What remedy would do that, Arsenicum?
Barbara couldn’t express her grief or her anger and always had to fulfill her mother’s expectations. She even had to suppress her puberty until late into her teens.
…because her mother wanted her to be a tiny girl forever.
Anyway, after she finally grew up, she always ended up with men who left her or were unavailable in some way. She always tried to fix the relationships and make them last forever, and of course, she could never express her anger or true feelings. To compensate for all the suppression, she felt that she needed a lot of space and aloneness.
I pointed out that she was hiding her psoriasis because it was ugly, and she was also hiding her anger and true feelings, because those were ugly too. I asked her what would happen if she didn’t hide these things and immediately she said she was afraid that her boyfriend would leave (like her father did).
So she had an internal feeling of being ugly, and that she wouldn’t be loved if she was ugly. She would only be loved if she was perfect – core delusion of Nat Mur!
I got it right! Yay!!!!!
So far, Nat Mur has brought up vivid dreams of being exposed, and I can’t wait to see what else will happen.
Anyway, core feeling or core delusion – it is probably the same thing, since it covers the delusional perception of reality that makes us sick in the first place. (Delusional perception covers both beliefs and feelings that have nothing to do with reality, here and now). My feeling is that when you find it, you can’t dig any further without going back to the beginning of the story again. Full circle…
In this beginning, the father left.
So, in other words, Barbara says, “I’m afraid my boyfriend will leave me,” and it all started with her father leaving, and that’s how you know you’ve hit bottom! Wow! Mati, don’t look now, but I think you’ve just written another article!
I have? How did that happen????
You were delirious (and possibly delusional) oh and that reminds me, don’t forget to buy Mati’s book, Beyond the Veil of Delusions!
Thanks Elaine, see you next time!