Teresa is a Hispanic mother of five who lives with her second husband. Her mother was murdered some years ago. We had a phone consultation on April 11, 2012. She was very loquacious; I hardly asked any questions.
“You see, I self-diagnosed myself and thought I could handle everything. I started suffering some kind of anxiety; my hand shakes, and I get nervous. I have dreams of the man who murdered my mom. I talk with him, and he asks me questions like, ‘When do you think I can see your mom?’ I say, ‘Soon.’ I’m working on a film about my mom’s murder.
I never took care of myself. I’m at a point where I get so overwhelmed I think of killing myself and my children. I don’t want them to suffer how I’m feeling… these weird emotions, and I think that’s stupid. Why would I think that way? It’s kind of lonely [starts weeping].
My husband is doing well; he’s working. I haven’t done anything dramatically for a few years. I’m worried about the baby. I had an abortion a few weeks ago [weeps]. I had to do it. I can’t afford another baby. Everyone needs me all the time. The doctor said, ‘Just drink some alcohol at night, and you’ll be ok.’ I don’t tell anybody, because I don’t want people to know. I’m confused, why I’m so depressed and overwhelmed. I’m usually really strong [weeps]. I have family in Florida, but they’re not interested in me. I feel alone. I’m trying to do yoga and meditation, but maybe I’m not doing it right. I’m scared.
I stopped smoking; that probably helped me with my energy. I don’t want to have sex—I’m so fertile. I feel guilty that I have the kids. I take care of them as best I can; I feel drained. You can’t really talk to everybody; they judge you so easily. I don’t know if I haven’t grieved. Everyone’s in their own world. One of my sisters can’t stand me. I don’t get hired because I’m overqualified for these jobs, like Starbucks. I need to work on my sanity before I do something stupid. It’s overwhelming. I don’t want to feel crazy. I don’t like taking barbiturates, Tylenol. My husband tries to understand. The doctor said, ‘You don’t want to take anxiety medicine.’
By the time I relax it’s 8:30. I have to wake up at 2am for the baby. The baby is very active; then I have to wake up for the others. I have one daughter who’s so angry at everyone. Her dad and I split up. She saw him a few months ago; he just showed up for her birthday, then hasn’t shown up since.
I’ll get angry and throw something. I hit my oldest daughter, then I apologize and start crying. I can’t really hide away; they’re all in the house. I can’t control my sadness or my desire to die, unless I’m going through some hormonal thing. I was pregnant for 8 weeks and then had the abortion. The desire to kill started after the abortion. I did think about it during the pregnancy.
My oldest daughter is 10; she looks like she’s 16 My husband’s family likes him but not me; they think I’m rough and tough. I don’t trust them. I wish the baby would sleep more. The baby is very hyperactive. She’s so tense, energetic. She’s the most active, stressed out. Gets crazy if I don’t feed her. I bottle feed her. She’s 6 months. She had teeth when she was born. I was so stressed out I had no milk. I was tense, anxiety ridden. The baby has no problems spitting up or being constipated. She overeats a little, spits up a little. She’s so strong, she’ll pull herself up. Even during the day she takes 2 naps, under an hour. She moves a lot in her sleep, especially if I put her on her stomach. She falls asleep on her back. She moves her whole head to the left. She stays quiet in the dark, no fear. I have music on during the day. The baby needs to know what every noise is, doesn’t relax. She likes music, kicks her feet. When I go back to sleep at 4, the baby sleeps till 10.
She’s a very happy baby. Very alert, follows every move. Smiles a lot. Communicative. She doesn’t relax. I was very stressed out the whole pregnancy. After mom died, my sister was living with me, didn’t know I was pregnant for a month. She came out a month early because I was so stressed out. My husband lost his job, then I had the baby. She was alright, didn’t need an incubator. She’s a normal baby, sleeps, eats. I didn’t sleep for 2 days, anxiety ridden because my husband lost his job. What will happen next? I was scared.
I’m obsessive about wanting all my children to be in programs, like tennis, but we can’t afford it. They’re so active. I’m trying to do art with them. It gets more stressful than I thought—paint all over the table. All my girlfriends are so far away, or they’re single and trying to get married. I would like to work out at the YMCA. I’m trying to figure something out.
My breasts were lactating the first few days after the abortion. I healed pretty good, but emotionally… My husband was going to break up with me; he didn’t want the abortion. I’m going to go crazy if we have another baby. My dad raised me when I was 9 till my 20’s. I broke up with my mom several times, mad at her, she was using my good will to her own advantage. I forgave her before she died.
I’m 35; my hormones are doing all kinds of stuff. Today I was exhausted, lower back hurts, I think I’m depressed. Liquids in back and head are all connected, keep rushing. My aunts are coming into town; they are the snobbiest people, you don’t want to deal with them, I don’t want to hear about it. I don’t want to see them.
Dream: My oldest daughter cut the head off her sister.”
For me it was a fairly straightforward case of ailments from abortion, which wreaks havoc with the endocrine system. The first remedy I thought of was Sepia, which is well known for feeling drained and irritable. Although Sepia is not listed in “Desire to kill” it is known for suicidal feelings. It has lower back problems related to depletion of kidney qi (in terms of Chinese medicine). Phatak says, “Constantly worries, frets and cries about her real or imaginary illness… Weeps when telling her symptoms.”
Rx Sepia 200 (Hahnemann Labs) diluted in water, one dropper twice a day, 4/11/12
Rx Adrenalin 30c (Boiron)
Follow up 4/16/12 [5 days]:
“I’m feeling much better. When I think about yelling at the kids I stop.
The baby is sleeping much better. When she wakes I just put the pacifier in her mouth, and she falls back asleep.
I had a talk with my oldest daughter. I told her I’m not feeling well, and she can see that I’m not my normal self.”
Follow up 5/3/12 [4 weeks]:
“I feel so relaxed. The first few days I was really sleepy, I guess because I was overtired. My friends notice such a big change in me. My daughters are really confused by how nice I am. I have cut back to taking the remedy once a day because I don’t want to be too relaxed.”
Follow up 5/31/12:
The problems with her older two daughters have largely disappeared.
She stopped the remedy and subsequently had a minor relapse with suicidal feelings. She improved immediately after resuming it.
Sent another bottle of Sepia 200C (Hahn). Also prescribed Sepia for the baby.
Follow up 6/9/12:
“Sepia has saved my life. I was ready to kill myself. My daughters used to run away from me because they were so afraid of my moods.”
Her husband was so impressed he decided to seek homeopathic treatment for his own problems.
The Adrenalin did not resolve the baby’s sleeping issues, but the Sepia did.
Follow up 9/28/17 [5 ½ years later]:
“I know it has been a few years since we spoke. In the past you have treated me and some of my daughters for depression. I know one thing, when you assisted me in 2012, it helped me greatly. Thank you so much. You saved my life!”