Woman age 37 / Co-medical / 1st consultation 2011.3.12 / CC: infertility
Medical history: She was diagnosed with “malfunction of progesterone” by obstetricians and gynecologists at around age 33 and had undergone medication for pregnancy, which she gave up after 4 years treatment. After declining the recommended artificial insemination, she was only treated with acupuncture. From age 36, previously stable menstrual cycle (30 days) became irregular (25-35 days). First menses were at age 12. No period pains. No other symptom in reproductive system nor any other symptoms in general. Has good relationship with husband.
From the questionnaire: When busy or stressed, natural rhythm is disrupted, feels as if she is confined in a box. Crowd <, Alone <. Not belonging in a community <. Persevering. Work at own pace, Shy. Cannot be self-assertive.
Observation: She had several good-luck charms attached to her large rucksack. (NB Case is abbreviated and parts accompanied by hand gestures have been selected for illustration. Questions by the homeopath have mostly been omitted. / CC: Chief Complaint, <: Aggravation, HG: Hand Gesture, H: Homeopath, P: Patient, WW: Watch and Wait)
Case-taking 1st 2011．3．12
H Tell me what bothers you most.
P Infertility. It’s disappointing when something that should come naturally to you doesn’t. Anxiety is there too, about not knowing what will happen. To be honest, I just want to let go. But my husband and in-laws are still wishful. There’s the pressure about how to make one’s grounds. It doesn’t work out how you would normally think it would, or how you thought it would be like when you were a student for instance. I am not sure how to accept this. I cannot meet the expectations (responses) of my loved ones. It’s disappointing and vexing. HG ++++
H Please tell me about “disappointing” and “vexing.”
P Like I ‘m not appreciated HG++++(circulating right hand outwardly ) It’s a bit like getting good marks on an exam and not being praised. I‘m the youngest amongst my siblings and I haven’t been able to catch up and do the same. Our ages are quite apart. My two older siblings are clever. They have enrolled and have gone on for a satisfactory education. I have to be like my siblings. HG++ (Rolling up both hands and drawing them inward quite tightly) My older sister is good at swimming and school work and everything. I am clumsy so I have to work on things. I was envious. I hate being compared. If I was the same (like them) no one would say anything.
H What happens to you when you are compared?
P Pressure. Fretting. Curl myself up. HG++. I become smaller than my body and am confined. There is no way out. I am underground. Lonesome feeling. I am trapped and alone. Will never be able to come out. HG++. This is the end of everything. All has been taken and betrayed. I’ve given up. What I built myself. Before being trapped, life was fun and I lived with abundance. In an instant , I was pushed down. The world was snatched away just like that. I was betrayed by people close to me that I trusted. HG++ (Namely) parents and siblings.
H Tell me about the experience of being betrayed. What happens?
P I became blank (NB Japanese meaning of blank/white) Snow is everywhere. Nothing is there. No sound, no light and I am the only being alive. There may be some plants but no living things. This is not earth. It doesn’t feel that I was born there but more like I was taken here from somewhere else. Like I awoke and was in a different place. I am in the normal world but it disappears and I open my eyes because I am scared and it is an unknown world, a quiet world. A world where there is nothing. Solitude. Only myself. HG +++(move) Why am I here? How can I get back? There is nothing anymore. Not even myself. I am sucked in. Into the world of nothingness. Nearly disappearing but I don’t want to disappear.I’m desperately looking for a way to escape. I will lose my existence.HG+++.
H What does it feel like? Can you give an example?
P Like disappearing in an instant with the atomic bomb. HG++. Like Tsunami. Disappearing in an instant. Not knowing what has happened. There is another soul. HG++++(Making a fist with both hands and holding them apart )It’s like what was two, being separated and moving in opposite directions. Stars splitting and crushing. They are floating in the infinite universe and never to see each other. HG++++(Brings both fists together) When I come back , there is ME as an individual and I exist. When I go astray , there is no ME.HG++++(Makes big circles with both hands. Makes a half- circle with right hand) (case abbrev.)
H Were you scolded by your older sister often?
P I was found. It was scary. Like being scolded by a Dr. at my working place. She would hit me from above. Push me down .I feel cramped. My throat tightens. I can’t say what I want. I suffer. HG++. It’s a one way communication and I feel vexed not being understood. Unsatisfaction. This is not me. I cannot show my true self. As if I am wearing a costume. It’s terrible. I want to take it off. Like I am wearing a wet suit and can’t take it off. HG++++(gesture of taking clothes off) It’s difficult to move. This is hard. I want someone to help me and then I can take it off easily. I would be relieved (case abbreviated) It came off. I am saved. Liberated. Oh this is the real me. No alien substance is attached. Just like a new born. Just the way I am.HG++ . Like this is the pure me.I’m not influenced by surroundings and I can be myself. New. Beautiful and with a future. It cheers me up. It is twinkling. Very nice.(What is the opposite?) Old. Tired. Slow. Slowed down. Stopped. Gradually movement is slowed down and the flow has gone. Lonely. Stopped . Disappearing.HG++++ (Spreading both hands up and above) My mission has ended. My role has ended. Heavy, dense and indigo color. Very tight sensation.HG++++ (Both fists are tight) PanPan (NB sound effect used when describing a feeling of bursting or fullness) Pressurized. Exploding again and moving. It is the Beginning again .A ball is rolling. HG++++(making circles with right hand). It is rolling smoothly on a shiny floor.(case abbrv)
P (When in a crowd) Fighting mode. I need to be tough. Being hit. I need to protect my position. I am moving to and fro. HG++(moving right hand right and left). I am snatched away. My space. My place is no longer there. I need to fight back for it. Fighting for territory. Like war. To live we need space. We take from where there is plenty. For my own place. It’s like a colony. We need to move under instructions. It is tight and there is no freedom. No development. Lost and dissolved. It’s sad. The brick building is shattered and crushed.. By numerous people, I am hit and cracked open. Taken over. Caught and imprisoned. HG++++(spreading out both hands). Pushed into an isolated room and am alone. My life has ended. I have become extremely small, am tied and cannot move. Completely white. Helpless. HG++（encloses both hands） (case abbrev)
P I was afraid of strangers. Always following my mother around behind her. I ate a lot. Anxiety. Didn’t know what to do. Who to trust and I cried. I was afraid of everyone. No sense of security. As if I was pushed into something. No place for me. I cannot move. I will be eaten. I have to escape but I can’t move because of the fear. Helpless and stiff. (case abbrev)
P I like to eat but get full easily and want to eat again quite quickly. I feel heavy. My stomach is PanPan (sound meaning fullness) It is hard to move. HG ++ Not refreshing. I regret it. If only I could stop before eating, it would be more at ease. When I am at ease it is natural and orderly. Harmony. Stability. Peacefull and at ease. The river is calm and flows into the ocean with ease. The same with earth. I am alive. My cells are functioning. This is how it should be.(case abbrev)
P (When I take a bath) I loosen up. Become disentangled. Refreshed. Become clear. Relieved. (At work) I am rushed. I try to come into line with a rhythm that is not my rhythm. HG++ (both hands tight in a fist) Irritated. My body becomes tense. I want to let go. I don’t want to work. My heart rate is faster. This is not me. I want to escape. I try to find a place to escape into or put out a barrier and endure. HG+++( Protect head and body with hands) Barrier. Something I saw as a child. A capsule. An ornament. A musical box(explains that a ballerina dances in the middle of the box) It’s made of glass. Looks like plastic and is in a transparent case. It is smooth. HG+++(Right hand is positioned like a lid, left hand like the receiving plate and makes movement of opening and shutting) I am being observed. It is easier to see from outside.(case abbrev)