In 2012 I started attending a 30-year-old woman for panic attacks and much anxiety. She couldn’t end the relationship with her boyfriend, who she was very dependent on. Panic attacks happened when she was alone. In the presence of her boyfriend or his mother she felt calm. In other areas of her life she did not have conflicts. She had a good job, good relations with friends and diverse artistic interests.
Her expressions throughout the consultations were:
“When I feel distressed, I need something around me. I want to grab something. When I get nervous, my body trembles”
“I want a person who is with me all my life. Someone who loves me seriously, someone who wants to be with me”
“I get so hard from the fear. I get tough. Hard, still, paralyzed, a strong inner fear. Very intense fear. When I think about death it always happens to me, my brain gets tired of the anxiety it generates for me.”
“I can’t separate, I want to retain something. like I have something withheld. I cannot relax. I have something withheld, I’m holding something, not letting something out. I have something I can’t let go of ”
“I want to keep my boyfriend to secure the future, to not let go and be in that uncertainty”
“I have nowhere to hold on, perceptually there is nothing from where I can grab to stabilize”
“I feel like I’m about to fall. I’m like there, staggering, I’m not sure about me … I feel surrounded by nothing … I have to lean on the bed. My back is empty. it scares me. ”
“I do not understand how a person continues to live if a father or mother dies”
As often happens in treatments, the succession of similar remedies were giving relief to the symptoms. She could separate from the boyfriend, but not stop thinking about him at all. The panic attacks disappeared, leaving only the feeling of despair when she was alone, but she could handle it. The consultations grew fewer, but I was not happy, not having found a deeper remedy for the patient.
In 2016, a 60-year-old male patient consulted me, with a diagnosis of vertiginous syndrome (vertigo). The description of his physical symptoms was as follows …
“I felt that the floor and walls were being removed. It happened again a month later. Stay dizzy all day. There were days when I was so dizzy that I walked with my legs open and arms open”
“In the other dizziness, so strong it seems to me that I fall into the void”
“I had a blank head, I didn’t know what to do with things. It is like nothing. Not being able to relate to the world .”
“That one made me desperate. It was like the floor and walls were removed. I felt that I fell. I had no geography of where to hold me. They take your floor. ”
After describing the physical symptoms, the patient began to describe her childhood …
“Very protected childhood. My mom warmed my underwear before putting it on, so I was warm. I am half prudish. I am afraid of burning. I’m terrified of the cold. My mom took care of me a lot. I felt very content and taken care of. A feeling of being in a warm and safe place.”
“Sometimes I feel very alone. My husband is very good, but he’s been like a child for a while … That gives me a terrible helplessness. Alone, I don’t have a partner. It’s the opposite of the overprotection my mother gave me.”
“Sometimes I would like to have a backup on whom to rest. Feel a little protection.“ “Having a backup is having a someone to support me. I don’t have that with him now. I feel unstable, as if I was going to fall.”“I am very scared. I’m afraid to travel.. I feel that I am in the air, that I have no floor. ”
It was very evident that the description of the symptoms of vertigo was similar to the description of her emotional situation as a child with her mother and currently with her husband. She needs a special support to feel safe, supported, feel warm, have a backup.
The absence of this sensation generates a sensation of instability, in which, she has no place to hold on, and therefore, she feels vertigo, fear and lack of protection, in short, a sensation of falling.
I immediately thought of the mineral kingdom because of the feeling of lack. I thought of the second row of the periodic table because all these themes: protection, dependence, warm and comfortable environment, and on the other hand fear and insecurity, as well as feeling of falling, in the absence of all this.
The feeling of falling and the need to hold on directed me to give her Borax. When I saw her again after 4 months, her symptoms of vertigo had improved by 80-90 percent and she could describe her feelings better.
“I have no support, I have no place to hold on. Be suspended in the air, without a coat. Alone”. “Without protection. Like the baby without a crib. The emptiness, the nothingness. I am immersed in nothingness but I have something far away”
Little by little, feelings of well-being began to appear.
“Feeling protected was very nice, it gave me a lot of peace of mind. To know that I was covered, protected. I felt very good, I felt accompanied, that I had nothing to fear. I relived the happy times of cycling with my cousins. It was total freedom.”
One year later, she told me …
“I am very well, I had no more dizziness and I feel much better in general, with much encouragement, more energy”
When I saw how the patient had improved, I remembered my previous patient. Her themes were the same. Even her words. I went to check her medical history and I was very disappointed to see that I had given Borax without effect. How could it be?
Commenting on the situation to my friend Dr Juan Carlos Galante, he reminded me of a case of Jayesh Shah that we had read some time ago. It was a case that had not worked with Borax and worked with Boron (Metallic Boron)
I went back to the patient, and she told me:
“As a little girl, stuck in a mess in which I can’t breathe, I can’t go out. I can’t let go.” “The unknown destabilizes me. I don’t know how to handle myself. I want to leave the place. I don’t know where I am. I don’t feel planted in the ground.”
“I’m unstable, I don’t understand where I am. Destabilized, confused by inertia. I don’t know what I want, what happens to me.”
“I need a support. I felt the lack of partner. I have to hold on alone. I want things to happen to me and not to panic and not feel like I’m going to die there in my house. I’m going to die here alone. ”
“Shocked, staggering, off axis, as if the floor was shaking. I feel that I am rigid. ”
“I am a dependent. Call someone to help me a little. I can’t go it alone. ”
“Feel safe holding me. Be one with one. Be calm. I feel dizzy. I do not have a center. As if I was going around, I don’t know where to go. Confused.”
Mind, anxiety, evening, agg
Mind, Anxiety, tremulous
Mind, clinging, persons or furniture
Mind, fear, falling, of
Mind, trembling, with
I gave Boron 1000, and for the first time the patient began to be calmer. She had a dream about her deceased grandfather after taking it.
“He protected me. If someone hugs me tight. I can stay there quietly. Tranquility. Quiet … containment. Relief and tranquility. ”
She began to feel more confident, more stable
“I felt firmer. I didn’t have that feeling of not being able to sustain myself. Now I feel that I can sustain myself. I feel more planted”
In this case, it was very important for me to recognize that despite the patient’s improvement, her deepest suffering had not been modified. It was necessary to find the exact remedy. Metallic Boron is an alternative for patients who do not respond completely to Borax.