Today we are truly honored to welcome a rather unusual guest whose name is… What’s your name again?
Senora Maria Montalvo.
Ah, yes! Welcome to hpathy, Senora Montalvo; and you are from…
Barcelona! That’s right, I remember now, but you look somewhat familiar!
Dollink, all of zee beautiful women from Spain look, how shall I say, fameeeeeliar!
I’m sure they do, but, you know, it’s very unusual for us to have such an exotic guest here at hpathy; we did have someone from Norway once but, we haven’t seen her since that embarrassing moat accident…
Did you say “boat accident”, dollink?
No, “moat”; it was a freak accident–actually the moat was only 3 feet deep but I did call the Coast Guard anyway…. I have to ask, though, if you’re as beautiful as you say you are, why are you covering your face with a mask?
Zee mask, it is an ancient Mediterranean tradeeeeeetion. (How’s my accent?)
Shhhh!!!!! I’m in disguise, I didn’t want anyone to follow me here!
Who, Mr. Montalvo?
Elaine, this is a very unusual case!
I’ll say it is!
In fact, it’s top secret! No one can know it’s about my daughter, no one can know it’s about soccer, and no one can know because the entire soccer team reads the Hpathy ezine!
Oh! You mean it’s like The Daily News of Little League Soccer?
Exactly! And the thing is, everything that’s wrong with “Baby Maria Montalvo”…
You and your daughter have the same name?
Yes, Maria Montalvo, Jr. Is there anything wrong with that?
No, it’s a beautiful name! So what were we talking about?
It’s Top Secret!
What is top secret?
The coach, Elaine. Baby Maria is not happy with the coach!
She says he pushes her too hard, and tells her she’s lazy….
Oh, I get it! You’re afraid that if this gets back to him, he’ll push her even harder!
Kelly, not to worry. Thanks to my crack team of editors, this whole conversation will be edited out by the time the ezine is published!
In fact, we will so disguise your daughter that no one will have the slightest idea who or what this case is about!
Well, I feel better already!
You see? All that worrying for nothing.
OK, here it goes! My 13 year old daughter, “Baby Maria Anita Sofia Jesusa Montalvo”…
has been completely out of control!
I hate it when that happens!
Here’s the scenario: Baby Maria is becoming increasingly nervous before games. She complains that her stomach “hurts”, is very snappish and irritable prior to the game, wrings her hands and is visibly nervous.
Her nervousness has started to effect the quality of her play. She’s slower to respond, hesitates and seems sluggish- even after warming up prior to the start of the game. Most of these physical symptoms improve after she becomes involved in the game and she usually plays well after a short while.
The worst symptom is that she has begun to be somewhat disrespectful to her coach. She’s headstrong to begin with but will now sometimes ignore the coach when given instruction from the sideline. She will engage in conversation to defend a “move” she made when criticized- which by the way, she cannot tolerate! The more he yells “run” the slower she walks! Also, she’s had several emotional “outbursts” on the field…screeching at other players to “help” her.
Things were getting worse quickly and I was actually thinking that maybe soccer was too much for my daughter, not to mention her family!
Luckily, my homeopath…
…oui, vous, recommended ____________30C. I gave two doses before the next game and noticed that she was less nervous prior to the start of the game, played well and was a little less irritable with her coach. I felt very hopeful!
Several days later she had another game. You suggested we go to a 200c, which I gave and saw some definite improvement in the pre game nervousness, disobedience and quality of play. I thought, “We are really on to something here!”
After this game a few strange things happened: my daughter became very concerned for her younger brother as we watched his game. It was a very physical game and she was worried he would get hurt. She burst into tears in the car on the way home saying, “I don’t know why I’m crying, mom!” and then several minutes later began playing “car games” with her brother for the remainder of the drive home! This was the first peaceful car trip in a long time! All of these things are very unusual for her. She has had a love/hate relationship with her brother and for the most part “tolerates” him. Hearing them play together (as they did when they were young) was amazing!
The next day I gave my daughter nothing before the game as she didn’t need it! She played hard, listened to her coach and had no outbursts on the field. She even commented that she felt “better and more calm.”
OK, if you know what the remedy is…
Elaine, I’m not finished!
Yes! “Maria” came home from school recently really crabby, whiny, etc…. flippant and bratty too. I thought about giving the remedy again but there was no nervousness involved.
At practice she wasn’t very cooperative and said the coach was really “irritating” her. Later the entire team ran to an ice cream store (maybe 2 miles) and “Maria” was quietly very argumentative, as in, “No, I don’t wannnnnt that, i want this! Why can’t I have thaaaat?” Lots of eye rolling, etc.
I was at my limit with this whiny behavior and told her to go to her room when we got home and stay there. I told her she was acting like a 3 year old. “You’re grounded with no TV,” I said. She had a little more homework but I said she’d have to finish it in the morning. Well this made her hysterical! Screaming, crying – the works!
She said she wanted “to die!”
I gave her the same remedy, 200c.
She’d been so quiet in her room that I went in to check on her. She was asleep! I gave her a kiss; she woke up and said, “Mom, whatever you gave me worked! It calmed me down right away. I’m sorry.” She rolled over and went back to sleep.
One week later:
Here’s a storybook ending if there ever was one: Maria tried out for a better team; she competed against 44 girls for 16 open spots and she got one of them! This is the “A” team at another club! Hooray!!!!!
You’ve lifted the ban on TV, haven’t you?
Well, alright! Wasn’t this an exciting case? I wish I could say the same for our answers!
Twenty two of you wrote in. I got numerous votes for the stage-fright remedies: Argent-nit., Lycopodium, Silica, Gelsemium and Aconite; I got the irritable remedies–Nux vomica and Chamomilla; I got Cuprum for combativeness, I got Elaps because of perceived Animal Kingdom qualities (desire to be #1 and sympathy for the younger brother) and I got a bunch of remedies that puzzled me, like Nat-mur, Belladonna and Aurum (perhaps because she did say she wanted to die!); but I got only one vote for the right remedy which was IGNATIA!
What are some of the Ignatia “buzz-words” in this case?
- Out of control
- The coach says run, she walks
- Emotional outbursts
- I want to die!
- I don’t wannnnnnnt that….
It all just Screams ignatia! (Pardon the pun.)
Let’s look at Ignatia, the remedy we’ve always thought of primarily, and perhaps only, as an acute grief remedy. Why is that? Why do we associate Ignatia with grief the way we associate Arnica with injury? Because just as injury (blunt trauma) tends to have a universal effect on everyone which tends to match Arnica, so acute grief tends to bring out the same response in everyone, that response being the Ignatia: “No!!!!!!!!!!”
Am I right? “No! It didn’t happen! I won’t accept it! I don’t believe it!!!! Say it isn’t so!!!!!!” What is this an example of? Opposition, conflict. Isn’t that what we see in this case? “You can’t make me run, I’ll walk!” This is a remedy of opposites, opposition and paradoxes. You say yes, I say no. Nothing makes sense about this remedy, just like your teenager, nothing she does makes any sense! Even the Ignatia modalities: the throat pain is better by swallowing, the stomach pain is better for food, the headache is better by bending forward; everything with this remedy is the opposite of what you’d expect, a paradox.
Why else is Ignatia a grief remedy? Because of its most famous keynote of all: hysteria! These people are either in total control, attempting to suppress their emotions and deny that they need any help (like Arnica) or they are totally out of control and “screeching for help”, and can go back and forth between the two such that family members feel like they’re walking on eggshells! “What did I say? All I did was mention Joe’s name, was I not supposed to do that?”
There is even a rubric, Mind: screaming for help. There are only five remedies in it:
- Kali carb.
What are the other keynotes of Ignatia that fit into this case:
- Very defensive
- Easily offended
Remember? defending moves she made to other players, not being able to tolerate the least criticism? How about this rubric:
Mind: Irritability, contradiction, at slightest–Ignatia-3 (the only remedy!)
Here’s another rubric. Mind: whining. Ignatia is a 2 and of course, Mind: crying, Ignatia is a 3.
- Contradict, disposition to
- Control, lack of emotional
- Offended, easily
To make a long story short, the case was nearly wrapped up with the first sentence: “Baby Maria has been completely out of control!”
And now it’s time to announce our lovely winner! Congratulations go to Ãgnes Heiczman from Hungary! This is for you, Agnes, The Isley Brothers, “Who’s That Lady”