A 60-year-old lady came to see me on 26 May 2021 with complaints of burning in va-gina and mouth ulcers.
- She had frequent bed wetting, more when she was tired.
- Frequently, (once in 2-3 weeks ) she would get pain in stomach. It would be cramping, temporarily relieved on passing motions, which would have mucus. After some time, it would restart.
- Sometimes on waking in the morning, she would feel giddy.
- She also was on anti-depressants after her husband passed away.
Her daughter, who is my patient had brought her. The patient walked into my cabin slowly. Her hair was neatly tied and she wore a nice cotton saree, which caught my attention.
Here is the conversation that passed between us.
Me: What a nice saree, aunty! (I couldn’t help but remark.)
Her Daughter: Yes doctor, she has hundreds of them; that is her treasure. She likes to collect them, wears them at any occasion or for an outing and is really fond of them.
Patient: Yes, my husband would get sarees for me. He passed away in ’94. Now my children get them for me. I like to wear them. I don’t know whether I shall get to wear them often, since I do not go out too much because of my health.
Also, my children are doing so much for me. They take me to doctors, give me whatever I need, may God bless them. But how long can they do all this. One day they too will get fed up.
Pt.’s Daughter : Why mother? Why do you keep saying this? (to me) This is her problem doctor. I keep telling her, it’s alright to have any illness. With age, it is bound to be there. But she gets very worried if she is sick. For all these years, she took care of our family. Ours was a big joint family, my uncles and their family, we all lived together. My father was very short tempered. She had to work a lot, from morning to night, do all the chores of since there were so many people.
She would cook for about forty people. Sometimes my father would shout at her but she would brush it off saying, “ Its okay, he’s your father, he has his own stresses, he does so much for us” and carry on.”
All her illnesses have started after my father passed away. In spite of his death, she took good care of us. There were financial difficulties, all our money was gone in his illness, but we never knew how she managed. We had sufficient to eat, our fees would be paid, maybe because of her nature, she could manage to get help from some charitable institutions.
No matter, how dire our condition was, anyone who would come to our house would always be fed. Yes, she loves to feed people. People call her “ Annapurna”. Even now, I tell her to rest. My maids do the work, but she will come and want to help in the kitchen. Even if she is unwell, she will want to peel vegetables, and do whatever she can while sitting. She likes to help out.
She is on anti-depressants. Sometimes she gets panic attacks and feels she is going to die. She will want me, and my siblings to be near her. She keeps asking whether she will be normal again and work. I don’t know why she wants to work, there is no need at all now. During her anxiety attacks, she does not want to close the door of the toilet, she wants to keep it slightly open.
I keep telling her, not to eat peanuts, popcorn, chivda (Indian savoury snack) and other hard snacks. That is what I believe gives her the stomach pain. She needs something to munch the whole day. I almost have to hide the snacks from her! She does not take care of her health, will not listen to reason. I tell her to go take a walk in the evening, but she is very lazy, just wants to sit in front of the TV and keep munching something.
One more habit, doctor. she wants to save money, God knows what insecurity she has. If we ask her what she wants for an occasion or a festival, she will always ask for money. We give her a thousand rupees or five hundred and she will keep collecting that. No one knew till a till few months back.
I discovered a purse, tucked within her clothes in the closet. Iwas shocked, as there were around fifty thousand rupees. When I asked her, she said, “Let that be, I may need it someday’. She does not let me deposit it in the bank.
I feel she has become very insecure after my father’s death. though all her children take very good care of her, we wonder why she has to feel so.
This was the story of the case. Nothing very significant was obtained after speaking to the patient or as regards her physical complaints.
I started thinking in terms of Rubrics :
Anxiety future about
Anxiety, pain with abdomen in
Anxiety, loved ones for
Cares, worries full of others about (my interpretation, when she wanted to help. Avarice (she saves money). Fear, panic attacks overpowering
Fear, happen something will, Insecurity, obstinate occupation, desire for
Very confidently, I gave her Carcinosin 26 May 2021. . Repeated Carcinocin a month later – 25 June 2021
I was perplexed as nothing happened. I shifted potencies, but still no change.
After 4 months, I gave her Ignatia, (30th Aug). considering ailments from death of her husband, silent grief etc. Again, nothing happened. I didn’t know what to do next.
This case taught me a valuable lesson. Our eyes see what our mind knows. I could see Carcinosin since I knew Carcinosin. I could switch to Ignatia, since I knew Ignatia is very close to Carcinosin and I could pick rubrics. But the mistake was, I just picked rubrics without understanding the patient at her core.
Therefore, I switched from rubrics, to pondering what her problem in life was. I read her case again and again and again. Her story is: “She worked very hard every day, for many years, without complaining about her strict husband and she raised her family.
In the whole thing, her interest in feeding people stands out, and she was called “Annapurna”(the one who provides, feeds).
After the death of her husband, her problems started. Though she kept providing for her kids, the insecurity developed after her children grew up and when she became dependent on them. She is worried that if she keeps falling ill, her children might get fed up and throw her out of the house, hence, she wants to collect money in case some misfortune befalls her.
She is a very loving mother but can’t get rid of this fear, hence she keeps doing things in the house, some chores to be useful. If left to herself, she would love to lay around, not go for a walk, watch TV and keep munching. This defines her state completely. This is the story of the COW.
She is mild, affectionate, cares a lot for her family. She is the “Annapurna”, provider, the nurturer. She keeps working, bears all the suffering. She is cared for while she is useful. But when she grows old, ill and of no use, she is forsaken by the very people for whom she worked and nurtured.
Hence, in this patient, the need to do some chores meant she wanted to be useful, or else she could be forsaken by them. Typically, she likes to relax and keep munching the whole day.
The fear of being shut in a toilet (in the proving ) confirmed the remedy.
Delusion: die, is about to.
Fear, door closed, lest the door should be
Fear toilet in
Fear forsaken of being
Sadness, disease about Yielding.
21 Sept. 2021 – With Lac Defloratum 1M, she started improving steadily. All her stomach cramps, vaginal itching, panic attacks came down considerably. Also, she was happier with no signs of insecurity. Magically, she distributed all her money amongst her grandchildren, saying, why do I need to save when I have my wealth, my children with me.
Follow up on Oct 30: Better. Steadily kept improving. Took Meds till Jan 2022 and after that she continues to do well and stopped meds.
This was a very satisfying, learning experience for me.