Symptoms of the Mind:
1. NEIGHBOURS INTRUDING INTO YOUIR SPACE, INTERFERING WITH YOUR PRIVACY —CAN’T TOLERATE IT FIGHTING BACK. (4), 5, 9, 10
PROVER – 4: Our neighbour took away our gas cylinder. I told my mother “how can she take us for granted?
Frequently used word was ‘ bothered ‘. Somebody bothering me or why bother others. Everyone has right to give his or her opinion in life. Intolerance to interference. Once I applied make-up and my brother commented about my looks but I said whatever I I’m looking I can manage myself.
PROVER -5:Previously my neighbour used to come and ask for things and I used to give but this time I just refused.
PROVER-9: Our neighbour usually borrows things from us. She took away my sister’s dress for her daughter. I felt how could she just take away the dress. I just got up, went to her place, woke her up and got the dress back politely. She was sweet in taking away the dress and even I was very sweet.
She is a very irritating woman, just comes and takes away things. She is very manipulative. Any hour, any day she will come asking for this or that. She is very talkative, inquisitive, talks ill of others. (gossips)
PROVER – 10: Neighbour keeping furniture in our house, disturbing my privacy, taking me for granted.
2. EXPLOITED AND TAKEN FOR GRANTEDâ€”TROUBLED -RETALIATING BACK. (2,4,5,6,9,10)
PROVER – 2: Usually I offer my seat to others in local train and people misuse it. I started getting the feeling that I’ve paid for it why should I give my seat.
Our maid wanted some money for her son’s treatment and she was troubling us for that. I said if her son is dying let him die. If she is bad, I will be worse. I felt she was taking undue advantage of us.
Fighting on small things – retaliating back. Why should I tolerate? I should fight back.
PROVER – 4: Dream: Dr Sunil Anand is scolding me that how can you take me for granted? You all are not studying; you all are not working hard.
Dream: Auto driver taking us for granted – took us in the wrong direction.
Wanted to complain against the bus driver who started the bus before we could get in.
My parents are looking out for proposals, but I’m frustrated with all this. I feel I should find a good match myself. Why are all unnecessarily interfering in my life?
PROVER – 5: Previously if I had problems at home even if I felt it, I would not speak. But now I felt it was enough. If they don’t understand why should we?
I got very angry when one doctor treated us very badly.
I was teaching a boy and I had worked hard with him. Next time the child’s mother thought of paying less and I got angry. I felt exploited and felt that next time I’m not going to give tuitions.
PROVER – 6: I was very irritable and I would retaliate. I would not listen to anybody and choose to do what I wanted. I felt nobody is fair to me. I felt they are trying to push me down, be one up above me, and suppress me so how could I bear? I have to retaliate very strongly.
PROVER – 9: Fights with brother about T.V. channels. (2,4,5,6,10)
PROVER – 10: My sister is of dominating type, she fights with me, but let it go. I felt it is enough and that now I’m going to retaliate. I was very critical.
Dream: My cousin wanted some certificates for a job. He had to go home and get them. He was staying on the fifth floor and he had to face many hurdles to get them, which was delaying him.
Dream: Friend getting married. Her husband and in-laws betraying her. Her mother-in-law appeared to be a shrewd, calculative person.
3. RUDE AND QUARRELSOME, CRITICAL, ESPECIALLY AT HOME NOT WITH FRIENDS.
PROVER – 1: I was too rude with my sister, not outside but more at home.
PROVER – 2: I am fighting with everyone on minor things – what is your problem- mind your own business.
PROVER – 4: I smiled at a child but she didn’t smile back. I got so irritated I wanted to go behind her and pinch her very badly.
Once when I was traveling by bus, it was very crowded. One lady touched my hair, that is very common, but I told her ‘ can’t you see?’ I spoke rudely to her. The lady told me ‘ if you are so fussy you better travel by first class.
My tailor had put buttons in my dress, which were very dark. I felt it very odd. He asked me, ‘did you like it?’ I said, ‘Is it good? Why don’t you put it on your shirt?’
PROVER – 5: While traveling by train I happened to touch a lady, she made a face. I got irritated and told her ‘ why don’t you travel by first class?’
PROVER -9: Irritable and angry at trifles esp. at home, but when I am out with friends, no problems.
PROVER – 10: Was very irritable and short-tempered. My family members labeled me as ‘khadus’ (irritable person).
I don’t shout at children but that day a girl was fidgeting with my clothes and papers and I shouted at her.
I was rude and abrupt in showing my reaction esp. about other’s behaviour. I would tell it on their face.
4. EVE – TEASING, TOUCHING, FOLLOWED BY ROMEO, THREAT OF RAPE – HARASSED – RETALIATING BACK. (2,4,5,10)
PROVER – 2: One person (car driver) was following me, threat was of not robbing or raping but it was that he may harass me, tease me like road side Romeo. I thought dare he do something and I will show him; make a big show of it.
PROVER – 4: I was going and group of boys passed some comments and I back answered them.
When I was waiting for the bus, thoughts came to my mind that suppose a jeep comes and they pick me up (threat of rape) then I won’t scream for help but I’ll give them one. I’ll handle it myself. (Usually I am very protected and don’t go out alone.)
Dream: somebody is trying to rape me and I am saving myself by jumping from the building.
PROVER – 5: I read some rape case in the newspaper. Previously I used to feel what could a girl do? But now I feel we should do something or the other to protect ourselves.
When I was traveling by bus a fellow sitting next to me was sleeping in such a way that he was falling on me, so I got irritated. I thought if he falls on me I’d show him.
PROVER -10: I’ve fear of eve teasing and sexual assault when I used to pass a certain area (Bandra-east), which is famous for that. But after the dose I was strong and I felt I could face anything.
5. SELF- WILLED, CONFIDENT, FEARLESSNESS, WANTS TO HANDLE THINGS HERSELF, NOT SCARED OF EUNUCHS. (1,2,3,4,5,10)
IRRITABILITY AND ANXIETY GOING DOWN. (8,9,10)
PROVER – 1: Everything was going in wrong way. Usually I get irritated but I was cool about it. I took it lightly. I was confident whatever happens I will handle it.
PROVER – 4: When I go for buying dresses, I take opinion of everyone and I don’t like to tell that I don’t want this and than I repent. But this time my aunt suggested something and insisted it is good for me. I refused immediately and said, ‘it won’t look good on me, and it will look good on your daughter.’
We had an invitation for a wedding and usually girls are meant to stay back at home, as if they have no right to enjoy. This time I got angry and retaliated back.
Once there was smoke in the building. In past also such thing had happened. I told my father, ‘we won’t go out, anything can happen any time.’ But this time the reaction was different. I went out and witnessed everything.
Past I was very scared of eunuchs but now face them very boldly. I detest the way they touch you in order to extract money.
I had some ill feeling about my colleague and to my wonder I went add spoke against her to her best friends and told them to tell her how foolishly she was acting.
While going by bus, there were many people in the gangway, so it took some time to reach the front so I couldn’t get down and the bus went ahead. I was very annoyed and abused the driver and the people who didn’t give way. (Unusual for me.)
PROVER – 9: I was sitting on the bed and the painting on the wall collapsed near me, but I was least affected by it.
PROVER – 10: Usually I thing a lot before asking questions – now I feel I have become more bold.
6. AS IF SHE IS A CHEAP WOMAN – GUILT OF STEALING PEN, PURSE. (2,4,8)
PROVER – 2: Experience in the train. A lady’s purse was picked up. Every one in the train was very cautious about their bags. When the station came by mistake I pushed someone’s purse. She just looked at me and carried her purse properly. But I had so much guilt feeling in my mind that I said – no I was just worried about my bag. As soon as I got down from the train I couldn’t dare to turn back and just ran away.
PROVER – 4: Once I borrowed a pen from my friend. I signed the muster and kept it in my bag and my friend, in front of others, just happened to tell me, ‘you have taken my pen, give it back.’ I felt so embarrassed I told her sorry ten times.
PROVER – 8: DREAM: – I have stabbed someone. My brother asked me did you kill him? I told him ‘ can I ever do that?’ He said be sure about it. I remembered the knife, which I had used, for murder and that was missing from my house. I felt if my brother goes there and finds that knife, he would come to know about it. Thinking about it, I suddenly got up.
7. SUPERIORITY FEELING. (1,2,3,4,5,8,10)
PROVER – 1: Dream: I am giving exams – orals. I am very good at reading and my teacher is very pleased with me and gives me good marks. He praises me. I am very happy and very proud.
PROVER – 2: Dream: of getting first prize in competition, and being honored as a judge in another competition in the second dream.
PROVER – 3: It is a scene of a jungle, many people are standing and I just place my hand in inside the mouth of a lion. I give a blow on his head and the lion dies. I was happy that I have done something big.
PROVER – 4: Reaction at home,’ are you someone great.’ My friends were just admiring me ‘ Rasika you are looking good, doing well.
PROVER – 5: Dream of an actress. Amongst other girls who were allopaths, I told her you should talk to me because I am a homoeopath and I am unique.
8. PROVERS FELT THAT THEY ARE PROVING PLACEBO. THEY HAVE TO BE A GOOD PROVER. (1,2,3,8.)
PROVER – 1: I went through the whole Boericke’s materia medica to find out which drug we are proving as I wanted to be sure that I am not proving psychologically – proving sac-lac.
PROVER – 2: I was obsessed that I have to note down everything. I have to be a good prover.
9. APPEARANCE PROBLEM. (3,10)
PROVER -3: I was very much bothered about my hair fall – that’s the beauty of girls. (Their hair).
PROVER – 10: My friend’s sister plucks off my eyebrows totally…. I see my hair fallen on the pillow and I get lot of anxiety that now what will happen? I used to get lots of compliments about my hair in the past from my friends, so now what if that is gone.
PROVER: I was very conscious of looks, feeling I am not looking good and was trying all the things to look good.
Need to be dressed as the best, best jewelry, or I will not feel part of the group. Did not mind being overdressed, but should not be underdressed. Need to attract. I should not be less, should be up-to-date.
10. ANMALS – dogs, cats, cockroaches, crabs, insect in the ear.
11. COMPETITION. (2,4,10)
PROVER – 2: Dream of competitions – getting first prize.
Need to be a good prover.
PROVER – 4: Dream – Something to do with study/ case taking. I had done what I was supposed to do, but then I felt that’s not enough, I should be no.1, on the top, should always be the best.
PROVER – 10: Dream: Dr. Sankaran’s class about proving. We all want to ask questions and there is a competition. I had to suppress others and ask questions first.
12. NEED TO GET MAXIMUM ATTENTION, FOCUSSED. (1,11)
PROVER – 1: NEED TO BE A MASTER PROVER: I should get maximum symptoms, so I will be focused upon. My proving will be considered as the best and everything will revolve around me. I am not the best, I feel nonsense, stupid. People will say you went all the way, worked so hard, and didn’t get any symptoms; you are not a good prover. If others say this than I feel down, low insulted.
PROVER – 11: Dream: I am sick and lying at home. My friends esp. girls came to my place for some work and come to my house to see me. I feel very happy about it. How well known I am amongst girls.
Dream: I along with another friend go to visit an old friend who has got recently married. She feels uneasy about entertaining us as she is wearing a flimsy nightdress. She keeps us at the door and doesn’t let us come in. (intruding into someone’s privacy.) voyeurism.
13. DESIRE TO GAIN KNOWLEDGE. (1,8)
PROVER – 1: I wanted to read to be more aware. I had internal desire to gain more knowledge. I should be ready with the answers if somebody asks m the questions. I didn’t want myself to get insulted.
14. LOT OF PHYSICAL ENERGY, ALRTNESS – INSPITE OF LESS FOOD AND SLEEP. (7,9)
EXTREME PROSTRATION PHYSICALLY BUT ACTIVE MENTALLY. (8,10)
15. LAUGHING ON SILLY MATTERS – ON SMALL THINGS. (1,9,10)
16. DIRTINESS – DIRTY TOILETS. HIMALAYA GETTING POLLUTED. (3,5,10)
PROVER – 5: Dream: of dirt and sh*t all around.
I read an article about Himalaya getting polluted.
PROVER – 10: Dream: I visit some of my friend’s place and there is no place to urinate, though urge is there. There is one toilet but I feel quite awkward as there is no door and people can see through.
The house is so beautiful and the toilet is so dirty.
17. HORRIBLE THING SAD STORIES AFFECT PROFOUNDLY. (4,8,10)
PROVER – 4: Usually I like to see action movies but this time I refused to see it and saw a romantic stupid movie.
PROVER – 8: I was very much affected by hearing the rescue story of a lady getting crushed under something. I also felt that how in a normal situation I don’t get affected, it is something disturbing, and how can I normally not feel about it.
PROVER – 10: I was very sensitive to harassment done to a child in a movie and was very much touched by it, but at the same time children interfering in my normal routine
I was getting very irritated.
18. THIRST INCREASED FOR COLD WATER.
19. EXTREMELY HOT. (1,5,6,8,9,10)
20. WITH FIRST DOSE MORE INDIFFERENCE BUT AFTER SECOND DOSE MORE ASSERTIVE AND AGGRESSIVE. (4,5,10)
PROVER – 5: My attitude at home was more indifferent. Previously things used to affect me very much and I used to cry. I just stopped talking. I don’t care what they are saying; I don’t let them hurt me.
21. THEME OF DANGER. (4,8,10)
PROVER – 4: Dream: someone was trying to kill me and I am desperately trying to save myself. The situation appeared so urgent that I was literally trying to burrow myself into my brother.
A man behind me and he is going to catch my throat.
PROVER – 8: Dream – danger of being run over by a train.
Dream: war and bombing and we are trying to save our life. A tall hefty person stops us with not good intentions. I hit him in his arm with a sharp instrument with an intention that he bleeds, and he can’t follow us. Urgency that we must run before the bomb blasts or we must attack before the person harms us. I was confident that I am going to do it.
PROVER – 10: Dream: I was with one of my friend and some sort of danger people were following.
22. CRAVING: MANGOES (9,10,4)
COLD DRINKS (6,8)
23. COUGH – DRY COUGH WITH THICK STRINGY EXPECTORATION, < NIGHT. (6,10)
24. APPETITE – DECREASED. (4,6,9)
25. LAZINESS – AVERSION TO DO ANYTHING. BOREDOM. (6,8)
Kind of inertia to start anything. Felling was let it go. I would do it but with lot of dullness and slowness.
Sudden anxiety, panic, of being attacked by strangers, dark tunnel, murder, stranger from behind.
PROVER – 1
Constant nausea & vomiting.
Nausea < time of breakfast, lunch, dinner.
Ã˜ After eating.
Vomiting – sour smelling undigested food.
Loose motions; stools – sour smelling, pain before and after stool.
Burning after stool. Pain in abdomen comes suddenly and goes suddenly.
SOUR SMELLING DISCHARGES.
TIRED, PROSTRASTED, FEELING AS IF NOT SLEPT.
Looking very sick.
Sweat on scalp and back.
What I wanted to do did not turn up – everything was going wrong.
PROVER – 2
Ineffectual urge, incomplete evacuation.
Skin exfoliation palm – left.
PROVER – 3
Craving for sour things – amlas.
Dream: I see I have a big patch of baldness; Alopecia. There is a big boil on my head. I am looking at the mirror and combing my hair ” see I have this patch.
PROVER – 4
I was hilarious and wanted to laugh all the time but with slightest cause there was change of mood.
Constant anxiety that something is going to happen.
Scared of ghost. [T.V. serial] Pain in chest – parasternal region < evening.
Sneezing with coryza & itching at the tip of the nose.
Pain left supraorbital – neuralgic < after sleep.
Pain in calf muscles with marked weakness
Appetite good but easy satiety.
PROVER – 6
Very sensitive, getting hurt easily, depressed at night. Crying on small things – getting irritated. Would take minor things in a wrong way – feel no one is on my side. Felt unwanted.
Sleeplessness till 3 a.m.
Irritation in the throat and cough
Bends double with cough
Sensation – everything is blocked in chest, in throat. Nothing comes out no discharges.
Feverish, body ache, cold and throbbing headache.
Headache – bursting, < afternoon. > Putting ice-cubes on forehead. Headache increased with fever. Burning with fever.
Pain in abdomen – distention > eructation, pressure, sleep in knee-chest position.
Felling very lazy to go out or work.
Purchased light coloured items, jute coloured.
PROVER – 8
More imaginative, drawing pictures.
Boredom inertia to start anything new. But when pushed for work did it very well.
Dullness and slowness. Desire to lie down. Heaviness in eyelids, had to forcibly keep them wide open.
Headache – throbbing – just above right eye – with nausea.
Nausea < after lunch. There was a feeling that if I would vomit I would feel better or after eructation I would feel better.
Tired and soreness in muscles – just wanted to sleep.
Pain in lower abdomen as if stretched.
Dream: conflict to help family or kidnappers.
Running nose – right nostril – watery discharge. Sneezing < fast fan.
PROVER – 9
Headache – right supraorbital.
Coryza – right nostril.
Confusion about day and dates.
Dream: eruptions on hand – 13.
Small red eruption on the face – very painful.
PROVER – 10
Dreams of dead grandfather. [Repeatedly]
Blurring of vision and heaviness in eyes – had to blink constantly.
Dull frontal headaches. < Afternoon, it increased with heat, > tea.
Nausea with headaches. < Night.
Fascinated by white colour, Snow Mountains.
Boil in interscapular region.
At night while writing letter – felt she couldn’t move the fingers.
Sleeplessness – feeling hot – changing places.
Dream: beautiful landscape, greenery, breeze, beautiful feeling.
Physically weak but could do lot of mental work.
PROVER – 11
Hawk on & off to clear my voices.
Greenish mucus balls.
Nose block – lt. side.
Foreign body sensation in gums.
Drawing cartoon faces and other pictures, scribbling on tissues in the cafÃ©.
Memory weak for proper names; esp. of colleague.
Constipation – had to strain for stool, unsatisfactory feeling.
Loss of sense of direction.
Based on our proving experience, few points emerge which in turn need to be examined and confirmed by others to understand this substance better.
The correlation between a physical symptom seen in provers and the most important feeling felt by most provers. The persistent catarrh lodged in the throat which required a great amount of hawking and in the process giving irritating feeling in the throat was found very similar to the annoyance and irritation one feels from an unwanted intruder who invades your privacy and behaves like a ‘parasite’ living on its host. It is interesting that the word ‘bother’ came up frequently during the proving.
Some provers along with two supervisors felt a distinct foreign body sensation in the eyes, ears and gums. One may have to look out for this remedy or be alerted when one finds the above symptoms in one or more mucus membranes or orifice.
An irritating rash on different on different parts of the body which is accompanied by severe itching aggravated in heat and an inflammatory reaction in the skin, could make this remedy a very useful one for all sorts of allergic skin reactions with intolerance to heat. However it is worth noting that most insect based remedies have in common, an extreme intolerance to heat. (Apis, Formica Rufa and Blatta in particular share this aspect.)
Some provers had an irresistible desire to draw or scribble on whatever was available. Some doodled. Some kept writing their name or signatures and some drew sketches of faces and figures. This can be likened to graffiti on places where one is not supposed to draw or write anything. One area where one sees this sort of obscene drawing or writing is in toilets. The theme of dirty toilets came up repeatedly in the proving. The sexually perverted theme too came up. This could be a classical combination of how an individual leaves behind cheap vulgarity on the walls to be forcibly read by the others visiting the place and hence deriving an inner thrill from that inner experience. The theme of voyeurism too came up in a big way.
During our concluding group meeting, another interesting theme that came up was of vulgar display of wealth in weddings through showy dresses, over spending of money and heavy jewelry. As one prover put it ‘ jewelry should enhance the beauty of a woman but should never overshadow her completely.’ She along with many others found the need to do just that during the proving. So this is another area where this remedy may be found indicated.
Lastly some interesting quotes from a poem. “Mosquitoes.” That further highlights the finding of our proving.
” Queer, with your thin wings and your streaming legs,
How you sail like a heron, or a dull blot of air,
Yet what an aura surrounds you;
Your evil little aura, prowling and casting
Numbness on my mind.
That is your trick, your bit of filthy magic;
Invisibility, and the anesthetic power.
To deaden my attention in your direction
I behold you stand
For a second enspasmed in oblivion.
Sucking live blood,
Such silence such suspended transport,
Such obscenity of trespass
Can I not overtake you?
Are you one too many for me?
Am I not mosquito enough to out – mosquito you?
FROM DR. SANGEETA CHAWLA’S BOOK:
Indolence – aversion to work.
Del. poisoned he has been.
Interruption < mental symptoms
Fear of death.
Memory – weakness of
Restlessness, walking amel.
Source: the Remedy, Culex Musca, was obtained from Roy and CO, Mumbai.