Remember the luxury you once had as a child of boredom? Don’t we all have busy lives? We are all in this fast-flowing river of the 24/7 economy constantly going from one activity or meeting to the next and sometimes we forget ourselves and are only reminded when there is a change in the current.
“Life is what happens while you’re busy making other plans.”
When we come to a sudden void there is a beautiful moment for reflection, integration, transformation and change.
My patient (female, 59) has had a very busy life for the past two decades. After a rocky start as a single parent, she had to find a balance between a stable income and being present for her child. Of course, she first tried all kinds of jobs for which she was qualified but eventually the choices became more and more economical and she was sometimes balancing 2-3 jobs at the same time. So little time for anything else and sort of a survival-mode.
She would have preferred a two parent family but she and the father were highly incompatible (she discovered his autism and narcissism too late) and he refused to be involved in any way in the raising of their child. So she plays the cards she’s dealt with.
Finding a male companion was a distant wish but there simply wasn’t time and opportunities didn’t present themselves. She was also very timid around men which also didn’t help. And all these activities were also a convenient way of avoiding this theme in her life. As years passed by, she also had to become a caregiver for her demented mother and again she finds her way in all this and life goes on without slowing down.
Then at age 18 her daughter goes to university and wants to live on her own and in this same year her mother passes on. And then suddenly there is room for rest, inhaling, processing everything from the last years. But with her mother gone she now feels she is not getting any younger as well and she throws herself at the dating market finding one horrible date after the other. She hasn’t got time to go anywhere to meet men so she’s using dating apps and she discovers that she hasn’t evolved in her shyness towards men. So she becomes an easy target for narcistic men and decides to take herself off the market.
With her daughter out of the house she could lower her income and work less hours but by now she’s accustomed to the many hours and with the gap her mother left she’s able to work even more. At this moment (which is also when she walked through the door of my practice) she’s working as a remedial teacher and with the lockdowns she can work as many hours as she wants. So in the past month she’s worked with over 200 children! She feels drained but she fears the feelings of depression that surface when not working.
Her main complaint is an empty depressed feeling. Nothing nourishes anymore. Instead of thinking about healthy meals for her mother and daughter there is now time to think about what she likes. But she feels disconnected from this. She loved to draw and paint before she became a mother but now she says she feels anxious from having no inspiration and just staring at empty sheets of paper.
With her daughter she loved taking long walks through a nearby forest and looking and feeling all the trees. This is also of no use. She recently went there and sat with her back against an oak tree trying to connect with it and with nature.
All she could do was stare and feel miserable, empty, disconnected from life. When she got back home, she discovered she had sat there for 4 hours and had lost track of time. This worried her and was the last push she needed to make an appointment with me.
She’s afraid that if she goes to her GP, he will just prescribe antidepressants but she fears that the emptiness will grow larger with such a prescription. These are her wishes, to come out of this depression, this vacuous feeling and pick up her life again. To feel connected to a nourishing source of life.
I am thinking of these grand wishes and my small globules and tell her ‘yes, that is exactly what we’ll do!”
I prescribe Selenite 200 for 3 days in a row (dry dose).
Six weeks later I see her again. She feels much better. The feelings of depression are gone and she’s decided to work less hours and spend more time doing things for herself. She’s started doing the Wim Hof method and goes swimming daily in a nearby lake. She feels reconnected with nature and is taking long walks again which really charge her batteries so afterwards she often feels very inspired to start drawing again.
I decide it is best to wait so we schedule a new appointment in 2 months. On this next appointment things are still going very well and a new development has surfaced: she has a boyfriend. He’s a slightly older but very stable, gentle and caring man who really helps her to work on her self-esteem.
I decided to wait (love can also do wonders on its own) and the relationship keeps blossoming and so does my patient. In her new found calmness she’s slowly digesting everything that has happened and she’s taking her time to process everything. This all seems to go quite naturally so my prescriptions after selenite have been minimal.
Although the name can be confusing it does not contain any Selenium. It is a gemstone named after the Goddess of the moon: Selene. In crystal healing this is a very interesting stone as it is able to cleanse and charge all other gemstones! I interpret this symbolically as being very beneficial to everyone but themselves.
It is a type of gypsum so also not very hard. It has a hardness of 2 on the Mohs scale which means you could scratch it with a fingernail. So easily adjusting to whatever is coming from the outside.
If you want to summarize the remedy in one sentence, I think It could be something like “I used to know what I was supposed to be doing….”
For too long a period their lives have been revolving about someone (or something) else and the connection with themselves has been compromised. Most of my prescriptions of this remedy have been for people coming off antidepressant or antipsychotic medicine, who have the feeling of coming into a void.
Before, they had hobbies, favorite foods, books or films they loved. And now these things are not nourishing them anymore and they do not know how to solve it. It’s a disconnected feeling, which can also be blissful. A nothingness in which they can happily float. Not making any decisions, not taking any responsibilities, not connecting to anything. Like a newborn baby who refuses his incarnation (remember this remedy in crying babies). Disconnected from joy, spirit.
These people often get prostration of mind. Worn out. And then their memory becomes less. “What were we talking about?, What was I about to say? Why did I go into this room?”. Difficulties in thinking straight.
The other situation in which you will find this remedy most useful is in all kinds of ‘empty nest syndrome’. When you spend years of your life raising the kids and then suddenly this task is done and they’ve flown out and now life revolves around you again.
It’s the same problem I often see with people who are not well prepared for retirement. For instance, the company is going into re-organization and people get laid off and placed into early retirement. I find especially those who really had a heart connection to the company and they can really go into a void. There was no time to prepare. Suddenly there is an ocean of time. No regular hours. Just time for you but without the process of having time to prepare for this.
Similar things can happen in post-partum depression. Nine months were spent being pregnant (and sometimes years becoming pregnant) and then there is this child which seems disconnected from being pregnant.
The remedy helps people to reconnect with their higher purpose, their true self. On a physical level we often see problems with calcium processes in the body: osteoporosis, bone problems, lactation problems, teeth problems. Calcium is of course the element that provides a sense of basic security in life which is needed to expand upon.
Since 1999 I have been studying C4 homeopathy and participated in many triturations and provings. The last decade I have been deepening my understanding of the homeopathic treatment of trauma and the use of gemstone remedies.
Hullo Wiet, Leila here..I studied with Alize in the Hague…a question? this is a monoclinic structure according to Peter Turminello…do you refer to the structures in crystals when using the crystal remedies? warm regards Leila
Thank you for posting this interesting and helpful article. I know exactly the feeling of emptiness you described.
Dear Wiet, Thank you for this clear insight into Selenite as a homoeopathic remedy.