I don’t know what the heck happened to me, so don’t ask!
How is it possible to be practically incapacitated and not know why? I only know it’s been going on for a long time; so long, I can’t put a date on it. A year? Two years? I only know that I was walking through Whole Foods one day when it felt like a band was tightening around my left knee and I had to stop and wait for it to go away.
On top of this, another thing was happening. I could no longer sit cross-legged on the floor, which is my favorite way to sit! I could bend my knee OK, but I couldn’t lay it down sideways after bending it, it always felt like I was stretching muscles beyond their capacity, like they were very short rubber bands that could only be stretched but so far without snapping. I would get what I can only call “stretching pains” and that would be it, I’d have to find some other way to sit.
Of course, I was trying everything I could think of–remedies like Rhus tox, Ruta, Arnica, Symphytum, Causticum… I know there’s a rubric about muscles and tendons feeling too short, but there are only 2 remedies in it and I didn’t have either one of them. I tried cod liver oil, thinking I might have arthritis. I tried Bach Flower remedies.
At some point I started limping. When my friend Andrea and her husband came all the way from California to support Bernie Sanders at the Democratic Convention, I was hoping there would be no demonstration or march up Broad Street because I doubted that I’d be able to walk that far. Here’s that march, by the way:
One demonstrator’s sign prophetically said, “Nominate Bernie or lose in November!” Too bad no one took that sign seriously. Anyway, a turning point came in my case after I tried to buy a frame in June for my movie poster “The Mark Of Zorro”. The frame (with glass) was as big as I was and just as heavy; I had to carry it 6 blocks! Not long after that I had a funeral to go to–I’m surprised it wasn’t mine! That was July 31st. We had to park 2 blocks away and I could hardly walk, the pain was really bad, I was holding on to Shana the whole way.
I can’t remember when the “dam broke”, as they say; but, I do know that I had come back from the post office, was standing in the living room, and innocently decided to straighten a picture on the wall. There were floor pillows blocking my way, so I bent my knee too far forward! I should say, rather, that I leaned too far forward; if anything, I bent my knee “backwards”! I think I heard a “crack”! And that was it, I was finished, finito, the end; I could no longer walk!
I sat down on the sofa. All of a sudden I could do nothing with my leg! Walking? Forget about it! Raising my leg? Couldn’t do it. I was thinking I might need crutches or a walker. To lift my leg, I had to pull it up with both hands. To “walk”, I had to hold onto furniture. I tried Arnica, Bryonia, Symphytum, Ruta…nothing. The next day I had to go to the health food store to buy milk. I had to send Shana in, I couldn’t get out of the car. The only good news was that it was my left knee, not my right, or you’d have to add “can’t drive” to the list of things I couldn’t do!
The next day I sat down and compared my 2 knees intently. I assumed they looked exactly the same but on really close inspection, I noticed the left knee seemed a tiny bit puffy. With only that to go on, I went for….do you know what? I’ll give you 2 seconds to think about it. One-two. OK, time’s up.
Mom, it’s not fair to give the people only two seconds to come up with a remedy!
Shana, what are you doing here?
Your knee story is depressing.
You want to know what’s not depressing?
It’s the 90th Anniversary of Winnie The Pooh!
Good grief! Can you possibly come back in 5 minutes?
I’m not finished with my knee case! So anyway, yes, the remedy was Apis! Even Pooh knew that, because you know what Pooh always says?
“You never can tell with bees.”
Pooh says that?
Oh. Then it must be true.
So here’s what happened. I took Apis 200C–homeopathic honey bee–and bee stings, as you know, result in swelling; that’s how even the smallest suggestion of swelling led me to this remedy–the Honey Bee.
Pooh’s favorite kind.
So almost right away, I could tell that something was going on, something was changing for the better! I was feeling a noticible difference so I kept taking it, and taking it, and taking it; I must have taken it five times that day! (in water with 5 succussions before each dose.) And I have to tell you, the next day, I was walking, without holding onto furniture! Granted, I couldn’t bend my knee, I had to hold my leg perfectly stiff, but I was walking–that’s the important thing! Three days later I was back in the supermarket! The day after that I was up on a ladder fixing the vertical blinds! I was still taking Apis several times a day, but I honestly thought, despite all my miraculous progress, that I would never be able to walk normally again. But guess what? I was wrong! Not only am I walking like a normal person, but look at me now! What do you notice?
You’re wearing my pajamas?
No! OK, I am wearing your pajamas; but, what else? I’m sitting cross-legged! Something I haven’t been able to do in at least a year! So I have to believe it was Apis all along, it cured the whole case! Isn’t that amazing? I’d be walking with a cane now for sure, at the very least; or maybe I wouldn’t be walking at all! I don’t know what people do without homeopathy!
And speaking of homeopathy, Mom….
What do you think Pooh’s remedy is?
Pooh’s constitutional remedy? Well, Shana, Pooh is kind of slow and plodding, and he’s a bit slow to catch on too; confused. He never really understood the gravity of Rabbit’s sinister plot to get Kanga to leave the forest by kidnapping Baby Roo! (“When Kanga notices that Baby Roo is missing, we’ll all shout, ‘Aha!’“)
Understand the gravity…of what you said.
“We could say ‘Aha!’ even if we didn’t steal Baby Roo.” Remember when Pooh said that? And then he started practicing saying “Aha!” I have to think that Pooh is Calc-carb. He loves honey (craves sweets), he’s sincere, naive, easily manipulated, literal, trusting and over-weight.
What about Eeyore?
The sarcastic Donkey?
He’s an Arsenicum! He’s depressed, complaining, blaming others, sarcastic, gloomy, haughty and tries to make others feel guilty in typical Arsenicum fashion!
What about Piglet?
Piglet is a very small animal–as he is fond of saying. He’s very scared, timid, shivers, and he worries; but, he also imagines himself a great person! The sign over his house? “Tresspassers W”? He says it’s short for “Tresspassers William”, his grandfather–supposedly; of course, Piglet has made that up to sound important. I think Piglet’s remedy is China (also known as Cinchona Bark). They have a big imagination, and they imagine that they do great things, especially when they’re lying in bed at night; but, as soon as they wake up, they’re like, “What was I thinking????!!!!!” They’re too afraid to ever carry out their plans.
What about Rabbit?
Well, Shana, as you know, Rabbit did a terrible thing! Very mean! He actually got his friends to kidnap Baby Roo–fortunately, Kanga knew that Christopher Robin would never let any harm come to him. Rabbit is mocking, a manipulator, scheming, prejudiced–and he didn’t think Kanga was good enough to be in the forest with them; so, she had to be gotten rid of! (“A strange animal among us!” he said.) I think he’s a Lachesis!
Wait a minute, Mom, this just in from Claire!
OK, so you know what that means? I’m changing my vote to Arsenicum! Well, that’s it for me! Happy 90th birthday, Winnie The Pooh! Here to play us out is Kenny Loggins with “House At Pooh Corner”:
Elaine Lewis, D.Hom., C.Hom.
Elaine takes online cases! Write to her at LEWRA@aol.com
Visit her website: elaineLewis.hpathy.com