Elaine! What better way to start off our 8th season than by interviewing you!
Yes, it just screams “Happy New Year!” Alan, actually, now that I think about it, this is the perfect time to have me as “Homeopath in the Hot Seat” because– like an idiot– I signed up for Career Day at school!!!!!!
OMG! At your alma mater?
Yes! What was I thinking? I have to give a brief talk on homeopathy! (That is my career, isn’t it? I’m not sure.)
Why don’t you say you started out by playing guitar, writing music, traveling with a famous band….
Yes, because that leads into homeopathy so well!
OK, forget I said that.
Actually, Alan, to be accurate, The Silhouettes weren’t a band, they were a Doo-wop group from the ’50’s
and they had a number-1 hit record called “Get A Job” in 1958! Here it is now:
That’s my husband Rick Lewis on the right. When they were touring on the Oldies Circuit in the ’80’s, I was their bass player; and I didn’t really write anything but I did write the lead sheets out for the band.
I stand corrected. We wouldn’t want to be inaccurate here at hpathy.com!
We have journalistic integrity! Here I am tuning up backstage at a theater near Boston:
Here we are in Rhode Island in 1989, I’m on the far right next to Rick:
Do you want to see the sax solo I wrote out for “Get A Job”?
You wrote the sax solo?
No, I wrote it out! You see, it was like this, Alan; everywhere we played, there was a house band–it was quite pathetic, really! They never rehearsed our songs–they were just lazy; I think they thought they could wing it, play it by ear! The sax player would never bother to learn the horn solo, he’d just make something up– insisting that if the “real” sax player were there, that’s what he would do– and I was getting tired of this nonsense so I wrote out the sax solos to all the songs! (I was listening to a tape of one of our shows recently, and the horn solo sounded like a cat was being attacked on stage!)
You wrote that? Did the band members appreciate it, all your work?
“The saxaphone isn’t written in the treble clef,” I was told!
Exactly! “Could you transpose what I’ve done into whatever clef it’s supposed to be in?!” I asked? Reluctantly, and acting put-upon, the saxophonist did exactly that. It was the first time our songs ever sounded like they were supposed to!
Back in those days, it was a “men’s club” (I guess it probably still is, maybe) and I, being female, was viewed as a curiosity and a pain in the ____!
Alan, are you going to help me come up with a speech for Career Day?
OK. So what was it like?
What was what like?
Being female and touring with a famous group?
A lot of it was about finding a place to change! There were no dressing rooms for women, so, I changed in the car once, the bathroom another time… and about having to get up early and go to bed early, neither of which I was good at! I finally discovered Valium. Does no one want to talk about homeopathy? Oh! You know what Alan? It’s time for my snack.
Your snack??? It’s just as well because it’s time for me to go to bed!
I like the way the interview is kicking off, don’t you Alan?
Hello Elaine, where were we?
If you were Andre Saine, you’d have said, “Where were’s we?”
He’s French Canadian!
Yes, I know, he’s the director of the Canadian Academy of Homeopathy!
I’ve decided to start talking like him in the hopes it will catch on. I say things like, “How’s are you?”
Really? Is it catching on with anyone?
Well, best of luck in making Andre Sainese the latest craze.
You’re going to have to talk louder, Alan, I’m in the kitchen!
ARE YOU READY FOR THE INTERVIEW TO START YET?!
Alan, you don’t have to yell, I’m right here!
Good grief!…never mind. Are you still playing?
I just produced a CD, a double CD actually, of all the Silhouettes’ songs.
Are you kidding?! Why didn’t you say something sooner? Why is this the first I’m hearing about it? How did you do that?
Well, Alan, it took me a year! And in the middle of the whole thing, I got a brilliant idea!
What was it?
Down through the years, I saved everything the Silhouettes ever said!
Practically, I always had a tape recorder going, I used to record phone conversations, I saved their voice mails and phone messages, I have radio interviews; they rehearsed at my house! That’s Rick playing guitar on the left.
So I said to myself, “Elaine, you know what would be a good idea?” And I said, “What?” And I said, “Doing something that no one’s ever done before.” And I said, “What would that be?” And I said, “Drop these things you’ve saved in between the songs!” “What things?” I said. “You know, the funny things they said that you saved!” And so, after finally understanding myself….
Why do I have the feeling I’m reading Winnie The Pooh? So, how can we buy it?
Buy it, good idea. Just write to me at LEWRA@aol.com and say, “Elaine, if it’s not tooooo much trouble, could you please send me your one-of-a-kind CD?” As a matter of fact, Alan, I need a good advertising campaign, something like, “Buy my CD, send Shana to college!” What do you think?
It’s very original, I’m sure no one else has thought of it! How much does it cost?
College? Believe me, you don’t want to know! Thousands of dollars!!!!
No, the CD!
That is cheaper than college! Are you on it?
On the CD? Yes, I’m on it!
Wow! What’s your favorite “insert”, if I can call it that?
Well, there’s the one where Rick and I are arguing over a paragraph from The Prophet.
Are you going to elaborate on that, I hope?
We were stoned.
Oh, say no more, say no more.
Basically the problem was that we kept forgetting what we were reading, and there were too many “it’s”, and we started disagreeing over what noun they referred back to.
It makes perfect sense! Give me another “insert” that you like.
You can hear Bill Horton apologizing to Larry–my dog.
Yes, my German Shepherd. Larry insisted on rehearsals being conducted in an orderly and dignified manner.
Bill, Rick, Earl and Raymond-1987
Well, if they can keep sheep in line….
Exactly! Alan, it’s time for my snack again.
Again????? Well, take five, everybody.
Alan, where are you? It’s a done deal, it’s over, it’s history!
Career Day! It’s all over!
You’ve given your speech? They seem to have the wrong date up there!
They sure do! But you know what, Alan? More importantly, why are teenagers so stupid?!!!!!
By the way, that’s me in the background on the right, bravely holding up the wall, averting catastrophe!
In that case, here’s your Argent-nit. Now, tell me what you said!
Well, first of all, you should probably explain that Argent-nit. (or Argentum nitricum) “people” have a fear that the walls of buildings are going to collapse on them; but, as to your question, I took a look at the seats filled with teenagers in blue jeans, sneakers, sweatshirts and backpacks and said, “Well, finally everybody looks like me!”
Ha-ha! Did they think that was funny?
No. It was a tough room, Alan! “Hey!” I said. “It’s my generation you can thank for what you’re allowed to wear to school today!” Then I told everyone it would be appropriate at this moment if they could raise their fists in the air and shout, “Power to the People!”
They were hesitant. I don’t think they knew what it meant! So I decided to move on and say, “Who’s on drugs?”
An unorthodox beginning to a speech if ever I’ve heard one!
Some of them stirred and looked around quizzically. “What drugs are you on?” I repeated. They couldn’t think of any so another panel member suggested that “Advil” was a drug. (You know what, Alan? We need better teenagers!) OK, so at this point, I stood up, pulled a Boiron tube out of my pocket
and said, “You see this? These are MY drugs! They’re homeopathic remedies and they’re totally natural, no side effects, and you know what else? They work like magic! I go through life like Superman — illnesses and accidents bounce right off of me, I keep right on going! Now let me tell you why that is. If you’ve got a symptom, you have two choices: You can either call out a firing squad or a cheerleading squad! I prefer to call out a cheerleading squad! You know why? If you cheer your body on in what it’s trying to do, it stops doing it!!!! Homeopathic remedies agree with your symptoms–in this respect: In over-dose, the remedy would cause what you have! So, if you’re having bouts of sneezing, the correctly chosen remedy would say, “Sneezing, yes! More sneezing!” It seems to make the body say, “Whoa! OK, I’ve done enough of that!” It’s kind of like “reverse psychology” taken to a new level!