The mother first approached me about her 10 day old baby (Ella) not thriving. The little one was induced at 36 weeks due to a placenta that was becoming insufficient. Born weighing 2.4kg.
This is their third baby and she came as a surprise to both mum and dad. M (Bea) and F (Michael) have been married for 13 years, both 42yrs old. Michael works one week on one week off so is away from the home two weeks of the month. This has been going on for 2 years now. Two other children – (Kate) 12, (David) 10.
Bea became aware of an affair Michael had begun shortly after the conception of Ella. She described the first 6 months of her pregnancy to be filled with betrayal and anger. She felt Ella play the protective role of her from very early on in her pregnancy – (Bea) ‘she would lie lengthways in protective position, I felt a real connection, she was the miracle that I never knew I would have. For the first 6 months I was still very much functioning, I could see it starting to affect the kids though – I saw our daughter (Kate) cry a sore and damaged cry, I decided to stand up within myself at that moment – it was one thing to let it happen to me.’
Bea – ‘I was 30 before I decided to commit to someone. I wanted to think before I jumped in. My goal is to spend my life with him. This is a miniscule lesson but an empowering one.’
So how would you describe the main emotion you are experiencing now? Bea – ‘Exhaustion and grief – there have been a lot of tears lately. I have had to question the love.’
Ella is a great feeder (every couple of hours) but does not feed for very long. Ella is experiencing stomach pains where she writhes her legs to straighten up. She does not cry a lot. She is failing to put any weight on though.
Bea likes to be active and loves the ocean, she loves to cook and feels she is the happiest when she cooks. She also likes history, going to antique stalls and looking at the history of things, where it comes from, where it has been, who else owned it. ‘I exercise or take myself out of the situation, that was how I dealt with my husband when I fell pregnant and found out his news. I felt it easy to remove myself.
Bea was the middle child, mother was a heavy drinker and smoker died of a major heart attack when Bea was 26, sister is now a heavy drinker and smoker. F and M divorced. F never wanted marriage to end.
I would like to see more of the grief come out rather than the functioning coping mechanism. I feel that this is where the block is for both the mother and the baby in terms of not being able to nourish themselves on every level, hence the below prescription.
Nat-mur 200c once a day for 5 days – direct to mother.
First Follow-up – 3 weeks later
Ella is now thriving; she put on weight within a day.
Bea claimed she had huge amounts of inner dialogue and lots of inner thoughts. ‘I found I fell in love with all my children again.’ Feeling a lot stronger, focused. Ella sleeps really well. Michael and I are going to stay together in the house but not be together.
Nat-mur 200c as required (when feeling a build-up of emotions) – I trust her to do this as she is very in tune with herself.
Took remedy for 4 days in total 1 week after we last spoke. ‘I want my children to have a better life, I do have to confront my feelings, I do cry now. I have to release the anger and I do this through shouting.’ How long does this take? Bea – ‘Not long, I learnt a big lesson when I didn’t express my emotions a few years ago, I had to get cysts cut out of my throat.’
How did you find the remedy? Bea – ‘It was a good armour and let me be vulnerable but gave me strength. Life has now become busy, she notices she has started grinding her teeth.
Do nothing, wait and watch
Bea rings me with Ella’s colic one month later:
- Bloating? – it is hard, when she is colicky
- Screaming – high pitched scream can last half an hour to an hour.
o Tears, sobs
- Poo – smelly, orangy from the breast milk, constipation – mum is the classic holding on
- Vomit – no never bought up much
- Temperature – the other day she felt a bit warm
- Happened in the last week – Bea has been internally teary and she feels OCD about her
- What do you do to palliate her – shoulder, rock her. Not on the breast
- Sleep – good at night not during the day.
Do you feel as though you have reverted back to nat-mur? ‘I feel stuck, I feel that there are things I would like to happen in my life, but I haven’t been doing them. I haven’t been meditating as much. Are you exercising? No I haven’t taken her for a walk.
Restless – I have been Googling new houses to move to – wanting to move away.
Physical – sx – no
There are moments when I do feel teary but it doesn’t come out in tears, hard to focus and procrastinate – overly concerned with Ella, worried about the health or Ella. In my head I think that I have to do a lot, expectation aspect.
Ella – Ign 30c – 3 times a day, drop to 2 as sx improve
Bea – Tub-bov 200c – once a day for 5 days
Reason for 4th prescriptions:
Ignatia is a great remedy for infants if the mother has had some grief or disappointment. There is the feeling of being unloved that I see running through the case with the mother and as they are still so connected it was only natural that Bea’s symptoms be included in the colic remedy choice.
Bea on the other hand has revealed her miasm – the core symptoms of activity and exercise that allow her to continue to function. I feel she has slipped into this layer.
Ella’s colic improved immediately and she continues to thrive. She becomes a perfect Chamomilla 200c when teething but is otherwise very healthy. Bea has also calmed and became more self-assured again.
I continue to treat Bea. She has gone on to receive Carc 200c and 1M, Staph 1M and Ign 200c and 1M. The last consult we had, almost a year since our initial consult, she claimed that Michael and she were finally separating for good and that she realised that her father’s side of the family all believe that you mate for life. She expressed to me that when she saw her heart ache for her dad when her mother left him, she vowed to marry for life.
I have seen Bea transform her inner grief and process it through the anger chains back into equilibrium again.