Mom! Where are you?! Mooommmm!!!!!
I’M PRACTICING TRANSENDENTAL MEDITATION, SHANA, I’M IN THE LAUNDRY ROOM!!!!!
Mom, it’s time for the quiz! I’ve got three memos here from Dr. B! First memo, “Elaine, where is the quiz?” Second memo, “Elaine, for the 500th time, where is the quiz?!”
YOU SEE? DR. B CAN’T EVEN COUNT, SO, WHY DO WE HAVE TO TAKE HIM SERIOUSLY?
Third memo, “Elaine! Where is the…” and then there’s a whole bunch of symbols followed by an “i-n-g”….
Oh for God’s sake! How many times have I told you not to bother Mommy when she’s in Cosmic Consciousness?! Whose case are we doing this time?
Well…there was the guy who faked having a heart attack to make sure he wasn’t having one….
And then there was the guy who faked Tourettes Syndrome to make sure he didn’t have that….
That was the same guy, Shana!
Here’s a patient with the flu.
That’s perfect! People can’t get enough of the flu, it’s all anyone can talk about! Who is it? No, wait, we can’t use the patient’s real name, it would scar him or her for life!
Yes! Think about it, Shana, what is worse than having the flu?
Well, sure, tuberculosis, but, what else?!
Well, sure, meningitis, but, what else?
OK, look, shouldn’t you be out shoveling snow?
I’ve already done that, Mom, and you haven’t come up with a fictitious name yet.
For what, the flu? What’s wrong with having the flu?! OK, here’s the case of Lady MacBeth.
Mom! No one’s going to believe that’s her real name!
Not whose real name?
I’m going back out to shovel snow.
Good, it will build character! Now, as usual, I asked Lady MacBeth to fill out the Acute Case Questionnaire. Why? Because if you don’t ask people to do this, they’ll give you “allopathic symptoms” only: fever, sore throat, cough…we can’t solve a case that way! Homeopathy is the science of “peculiars”, that’s why we need the questionnaire. When someone is sick, you have to know the right questions to ask; so, here we go with…
The Sore Throat That Didn’t Hurt!
by Lady MacBeth (no relation to any other Lady MacBeth you may have read about)
Acute Case Questionnaire
1. Describe the complaint or complaints in your own words in as much detail as you can. Don’t forget to include the onset–did the complaint come on suddenly or gradually?
Sore throat with pain from ear to chin. I feel heaviness in ear & in head also. It started on Monday night, at that time my body was so warm, feet were also hot, my nose is constantly blocked. I am having empty eructations almost constantly. The sore throat is reddish. I can see blisters and swelling in throat, more swelling on the right side. I have constipation. Feeling of ear pain going from ears to jaw and chin. My nasal secretion is watery and I feel cutting sensation in my nose. Feeling nasal flow falling in the throat, nasal flow yellowish with red streaks sometimes. I am not sneezing but wish to sneeze so that my nasal block and head heaviness would be reduced. I am feeling hot. I want to switch on the fan. Fever: 35.8 degrees C.
2. Etiology–this means the cause, if you know it.
By catching cold, by washing clothes, and went out while it was drizzling.
Someone is making a drilling sound in my ears, sometimes feel like my ear is opened or closed. Whistling sound in ears. Feel heaviness in external ear.
Right ear is blocked
4. Appearance– anything remarkable? Red skin, droopy eyes, etc.?
Red blister-like eruptions appear when I scratch on any part of my body.
5. Location–where on the body is your complaint located?
Throat, ears, itch in the throat cause mild coughing.
Desire to vibrate legs, desire to go out in the rain, desire fresh air, desire to open the nose, desire to lie on the chest.
My problem increases when I wake up
Yellowish nasal discharge internally in throat, watery discharge from nostrils
I am hot, I am not hungry, I am very thirsty. Desire to drink so much water. I am tired, I am irritable
10. The mentals
Any quarrel or dispute is intolerable. irritability
11. What have you been saying?
12. What are you doing?
I want to go out of the house.
13. Describe your thirst and appetite–
I am very thirsty,. No appetite, want cold drinks, taking small sips because my nose is blocked. Desire to drink too much water. Desire to eat hot and spicy food. Bad taste in mouth. Tongue is not white.
Too much sweating on whole body, bad smell of the sweat.
Bad odor of the sweat
17. What is most striking or peculiar about your condition?
Ear pain and blockage, Throat is not painful but blisters, redness and swelling inside.
18. Is there a diagnosis? For instance, flu, teething, etc.
I think it due to cold
19. Describe your energy–