Extraterrestrial in a Foreign Body

The patient, a woman of 36 years, came to me for the first time in September 2015. This is her story.

Since she was young, she had a very strange relationship with her body. She felt like an extraterrestrial who accidentally entered a human body and didn´t know what to do with it. She felt she was neither a man nor a woman – something in between, and it bothered her very much… how much time and effort she needed to take care of this body, to feed, dress, wash it etc.

She felt she herself was neither male nor female. She watched herself from above, dressing, behaving, doing, and at the same time she realized her “I“ was much more than the body she was seeing, that the other parts of her ”I“ are non-material.

Sometimes she saw this in  dreams.  It was an extraordinary feeling she could not describe – a place of safety, warm, pleasant, outside time and space, outside her material body. She did not remember much of her childhood. She grew up in a village as an only child, she spent a lot of time alone, read a lot of books.

When she was six, she seduced a boy. She enjoyed watching his body´s reaction, how it changed during arousal, what it did to him. When she was nine, her parents divorced and she stayed with her mother, who removed all men from her vicinity and clung to her daughter.

As a child the patient tried to be a good girl, avoiding conflicts. Her mother controled everything and every mistake the child made was used for manipulation with guilt and emotional blackmail. Since then the patient retained a feeling she did not deserve love, because she was not perfect. She avoided people, feeling she had no right to exist in the world, because she keeps making mistakes and therefore has to be punished.

Everything got worse when puberty came, her body changed into a woman´s body and she had to take even more care of it. It was difficult to accept, she felt the body was unclean, bad. Her true being practically “lived in her head“ because her physical body was so uncomfortable for her.

Marihuana brought her a certain ammount of comfort and she smoked it massively since puberty. At seventeen, she fell in love but was rejected, became depressed and took antidepressants since. Later she realized she had to choose between mother´s clinging and the love of a man. She was a very strong personality and so at eighteen she cut herself off from her mother and moved out of her home.

When the patient came to me at thirty six, she felt depleted, no energy, she had no will to live. Everything was grey, she felt no connection neither to herself nor to the world around her. She felt “no one really likes me“ and would have wanted to live as a monk in nature.

In spite of the antidepressants, she felt the world had no colours. She nose-dived into depression, her horizone was painfully low, she cried, felt fear for not being perfect. She feared that as soon as a small crack opens in her perfectionism, someone might get to her and hurt her. Although by that time she had a prosperous firm of her own, she was building a house near Prague and lived with a very good man.

Her inner world was full of chaos, fear, despair and disaster, nothing made sense, and she felt that she was damaged. She cried for long hours feeling “I am so bad, I will never accomplish anything, I am no good.“ She felt like an ET who doesn´t know the rules accoring to which she should behave, constantly afraid she was not good enough, not able to perform, that someone close to her would hurt her.

Her dark mood reflected in the kind of music she listened to – industrial techno.

Analysis:

Here we have a young woman whose one foot seems to be in another world, she is not fully incarnated which brings her a lot of pain. She is very creative and it is remarkable how much she accomplished in the material world.

REPERTORIZATION

The first remedy I gave her was Spectrum 200 to get her more into her body. (Spectrum is a remedy made from sunlight shining through a prism.)

Follow-up by the end of September 2015.

She felt good after Spectrum and she was able to control chaos, decrease it by half, it didn‘t feel so destructive anymore. Also her fear of not deserving love is  not so strong. She is more connected to her body, feels more at home in it. She is begining to tolerate her  mistakes, to be more connected to her surroundings, she started to read novels.  This looks like a very good start of the treatment, so we wait and see whan happens next…

 Follow-up in October, 2015.

The patient hasn´t repeated the remedy yet, although she is very busy with her firm and the building of her house. She is doing fine.  She is more in her body – she says she is in it from head to breast 80%. With autumn, her depression gets worse – we raise potency to Spectrum 1M.

 Follow-up November 2015.

Spontaneous moments of gratitude and happiness start to appear, no more sorrow. She is more open to animals, has more energy. The complicated relationship with her mother hasn´t changed. We let the remedy do its work some more.

Follow-up December 2015.

The patient is doing fine, she and her boyfriend love each other. Some internal tension reappeared lately, doubts if what she is doing is right. She doesn´t feel like a frantic little animal anymore but still fears she could make a mistake and the society would exclude her.

She feels tense, vigilant inside, always on guard. Here we can see Spectrum has done all it could and time has come to look for another remedy which would follow well and let the patient move forward.

REPERTORIZATION

The next remedy I gave her was Falco peregrinus 1M (I have good experience with bird remedies after Spectrum).

 Follow-up January 2016

The patient is feeling good, she and her boyfriend moved to the house outside the city, she feels content. Falco gave her a pleasant overview, she has more energy and less innner tension.  The very old feeling of a “frantic little animal“ and uncertainty, if she fulfilled the expectations of others, appears sporadically.  She is not in her head anymore, she is 90% in her body.  Antidepressants have been cut to half of the original dose.

 Follow-up February 2016

The patient repeated Falco after overworking when again she felt she was no good. Right after putting the remedy in her mouth she felt lightness and saw the bigger picture, her energy returned.  The only thing which remains is the very old fear of the loss of self-control, chaos, the inability to trust everything will be all right.

She still feels divided from the world, with only a few threads linking her to it.  Overall, the patient is much better, but we are still not at the end of the treatment. Prescripton: Falco 1M – repeat when aggravated.

Follow-up – March 2016.

Depression starts to return and Falco didn´t help, not even the 10M potency.  The patient constantly overworks, she works with no rest which aggravates her state. The theme “ I am unwanted“ presents itself – she is convinced her mother didn´t want her and doesn´t love her. This is where the overall feeling of mistrust comes from.

She feels cut off from the world, a desperate, unwanted child with nowhere to go. When I took into consideration the problematic relationship with the patient´s mother and the deficient incarnation, I prescribed Lac humanum 200.

 Follow-up – April 2016.

After Lac – hum “ it was super but it stopped working“. Old mental patterns “ I am unworthy, they don´t love me“ are back again. The patient feels divided from the world and other people. The critical inner voice of a sadist judge has immense power over her.

The suppressed anger wants to explode and disintegrate into little pieces. She is doing  non-sensical things – for example she hoovers her carpet for three hours. The inner tension manifests by migraines, pain is right-sided, pulsating, she loses sight in one eye and has problems articulating and concentrating. It is obvious to me she needs another prescription.

REPERTORIZATION

I gave her Anacardium 1M as the next remedy.

Follow-up May 2016

The patient feels much better after Anac 1M, with no mood swings, the critical voice is much milder, she can have a dialogue with it. She still leads a very intensive life, she works ten hours a day on her own projects, which is very satisfying and fulfilling, but she hardly finds time to rest. The overworking gave her one episode of  sorrow and despair, but she overcame that quickly.

The patient repeated Anacardium 1M a few times, it was a welcome companion for her throughout the summer – thanks to this remedy she could stop her antidepressants for good after many years. The remedy calmed down the inner critic, it changed from a judge to her advisor.

She is more feminine, occupying her body 98%. In August 2016 the remedy helped her control a destructive mood two days before menstruation, when she wanted to demolish, tear up, burn everything. Just like the goddess Kali. Her work rythm is awesome, often she works sixteen hours a day seven days a week.

Follow-up November 2016

The patient sleeps well eight hours a day, she is fine, went for a holiday – she hasn´t done that for six years. She is able to rest more, off her antidepressants.  Time and again the feeling of being unwanted appears, she  thinks her boyfriend doesn´t love her.  It seems Anacardium did its work and it is time to move on.

REPERTORIZATION

The next remedy was Haliaeetus leucocephalus 200.

 Follow-up December 2016

Her negative thoughts are much less frequent, she is able to see the world from an overview, she feels great change inside, she no  longer wants to walk the path of suffering. She is trying to improve her relationship with her partner, also, her relationship with her mother is getting better.

 Follow-up January 2017

She repeated the remedy twice, always during some difficult time.  “ Many things became clear,“ says the patient. At last she decided to trust the world and her partner who says he loves her. When overworked, she no longer falls into depression, sometimes she has headaches or tension in her trapezius muscles. She is learning to rest, more able to acknowledge her needs.

In March, under the pressure of her workload and an effort to honour all her deadlines, her hyperperfectionism got worse and her body fell ill with bronchitis (like she used to have in childhood). At that time, Carcisnosinum 30 was very helpful not only for her bronchitis but also for her perfectionism.

The remedy worked well until April, when she arrived at the follow-up with one peculiar symptom: she coudln´t stand the ticking of the clock for its regularity. She said it trapped her in a cycle, her mind locking up, she felt all tied up, with no freedom.

“Time is like a rope and every tick of the clock is a loop, closing around my body and with every stroke of the clock I turn to stone more and more. It is an evil spell and there is no escape from it.“

It became clear to me that the Eagle, having done its work, has flown and we have to move on to another remedy.

REPERTORIZATION

The next remedy was Theridion curassavicum 200

 Immediately after taking the remedy, the patient got a migraine like she used to have in the past and after that everything started to become better and better.  During the next seven months she felt good. Apart from losing her sensititivy to clock ticking, she started to trust people around her more, which brought a very positive shift in the relationship with her husband.

For the first time in many years she started to consider having a child, which used to be inconcievable for her before.  Headaches stopped, menstruation cycle improved, no autumn depressions, she was happy and content, she could rely fully on her intuition.

Follow-up November 2017.

The patient is calm, she had her intrauterine contraceptive device taken out, she is considering getting pregnant. Thinking about becoming a mother, the theme of her mother and the old wound comes up. “Women, who didn´t want their children, ended up having girls.“  She wants to get out of this vicious circle, not to pass the wound on, like her mother and grandmother.

Remedy: Natrium causticum – one of the best remedies for old wrongs.

Follow-up December 2017.

She no longer is concerned with old wrongs, she is fine. She has spent a weekend with her mother, they both felt good.

Follow-up May 2018.

No  mood swings but her firm requires a lot of her time and she overworks, which causes headaches,  especially before menstruation, aggravated by movement, light, odors, with feeling as if her head was in a vice, cannot think.

The next remedy was Nux vomica 200, which settled the headaches very quickly.  She is good at establishing her boundaries now, which used to be a problem. At present, she feels fiery energy she can use for making a decision and then she puts up her boundary in the place she wants no one to cross. With the overall change in her personality, her  musical taste also changed. Instead of techno, she listens to Beethoven  now.

Nux vomica helped her with headaches after overwork till the end of 2018. She repeated the remedy accoring to her needs, gradually we raised the potency to D 1000.

In December 2018 I gave her her last remedy, Aurum metallicum 200 for mood swings, returning with bad weather. Aurum was very helpful.

Last follow-up in February 2019.

The patient came in to thank me, she said she was well, nothing bothers her, she lives a happy life with her husband, her firm is doing well, she has a loving relationship with her mother. She would be happy to have a child, but if it doesn´t happen, she is fine with that, too.

Before I started to write this report, I called my patient. (January 2023). She is doing fine, no depressions or migraines.  She is a very happy woman, a wife and a mother of a two months old baby.

This case is a good example of how powerful homeopathy is and in how many ways it can be helpful. At the begining the patient was depressed, she refused to accept her own body, she was on antidepressants for years without any major benefit.

If anybody had asked her at that time, if she would prefer to be a man, she would agree. Desperate people do desperate things and above all, they need help.  Real help, gentle and effective, which can be offered by homeopathy.

I do not agree with all those LGBTQ promoters, who think an adolescent who has a problem with accepting his or her body, should be sent to a surgeon, pumped up with hormones, antidepressants and God knows what else.  I think these children need, above all, loving and gentle care by an experienced homeopath and a psychologist, who would help them properly complete their incarnation into their body, the body Nature gave them, and accept it

I am very glad I could help this woman. It is always a beautiful adventure to watch our patients change, getting rid of their fears and delusions and making their first steps on their way to freedom.