Like many homeopaths, I decided to become a professional homeopath thanks to a personal experience with a medical condition. In my case, it was my son’s diagnosis of autism.
Homeopathy has been the main factor in my son’s recovery journey and that of countless children in my practice. In this article I would like to share with those parents who are thinking of working with a homeopath some of my early mistakes as a parent and tips to get the best results from your homeopathic treatment.
Common Mistakes I Made
- “Can You Fix My Child?”
When I started to look for a competent healer for my son, what I was really looking for was a “fixer”. My thought process-albeit subconscious-was: “my son is broken. If only my son could speak/understand/be calm/interact with other kids, everything else would fall into place”.
Some parents come to me with a “wish list” of things that they want me to fix, in order of priority: sleep first, then speech, then behaviour, for example. Other parents make it very clear during the first meeting that their goal is for their child to have good grades at school. As long as their child can do maths, read and write, they feel their child will have a bright future.
I was not looking at who my child was or what he needed; I was looking only at what I thought was missing and I was looking for someone or something that could provide the missing pieces of the puzzle.
What I did not know at the time was that the healing process is not linear and does not necessarily respect my schedule or expectations. This does not mean that parents should lower their expectations, only trust and to some extent, surrender to the process.
- Not Being Present
Years ago a mother contacted me to help her little daughter, who had been diagnosed with autism. She was able to speak and very clearly and fluently too, however, she could only “script”, memorise dialogues from adverts and TV programmes.
She did not have spontaneous speech. She seemed completely oblivious of her environment. Even when she was taken to meet Santa during the Christmas holidays, she did not register any interest or awareness.
The mother was full of grief and guilt, because she thought that the root cause was a car accident she had had when the child was still a baby and had received a concussion. Even though tests and brain scans had dismissed her theory, she could not get over the emotional trauma and the guilt.
I prescribed a series of remedies and protocols over the following three months but nothing seemed to work. I felt like I could not get enough information during consultation. The mother seemed distracted. Something else was going on. She was holding back and I did not feel confident enough at the time to ask her directly.
After two or three months, the mother “disappeared”. She stopped replying to my emails. I let go of the case. A few months later, she contacted me again. She apologised for not getting in touch and told me in a text that her husband had just left her. She had moved out with her kids to stay with a family member and had started divorce proceedings.
It was very upsetting to hear. All I could do was offer help, as a homeopath, to get her back on her feet emotionally and help her through this difficult time in her life. She thanked me but said she was in “good hands”. That was the last time I heard from her.
- Chopping And Changing Therapies
When it comes to our children’s health, immediate results are not quick enough. We want answers and we want them yesterday. I get it. This can bring some parents to be impatient and try one modality for a few weeks or months and then stop to start something different.
Sometimes parents start multiple modalities at the same time, only to be frustrated because they cannot tell which supplement/protocol/remedy is doing what (I did that too, by the way).
While it is true that homeopathy is compatible with most other modalities, it is best to introduce different remedies or supplements gradually, staggered and keep a precise record of dates and reactions. Keeping track of therapies is essential.
How to get the best results from homeopathy
- “Get Over Yourself”
Raun Kaufman, author of the book The Son-Rise Program, gives this piece of advice early on in his book. Whatever sense of hurt pride, embarrassment, exhaustion, shame, guilt you are feeling about your child’s condition, you need to get over all that, because, ultimately, this is not about you, it’s about your child.
The homeopath you are working with to help your child, can help you too. I always insist on this point before taking a new case. Your child does not live in a vacuum and will sense your frustration, anger or grief, even if you think you are keeping your feelings inside you. If that means pausing your child’s treatment to look after yourself, so be it. You cannot pour from an empty cup.
- Be Present
Life happens. If you are going through a particularly challenging time that takes up your energy and resources, perhaps it is not the right time to start a new treatment. Make time for the consultation. Online sessions are a great tool but there is a temptation to put the screen on a table and carry on with housework/feeding/playing with your children during the consultation. Be patient and wait until you are in the right mental place. The homeopath needs you to be his/her eyes and ears.
- Look At Your Child
Really look at your child. Look at who he is, not who he is not. Look at what he is good at. It is easy to focus and see only the symptoms and what we wish was different about our children. Everyone is good at something. What does he/she enjoy?
The most successful cases I have had have one thing in common, a parent who can put herself in the child’s shoes and can feel what her child feels. Many mothers have an almost psychic connection with their child; they can see things that nobody else can. This is invaluable help for a homeopath.
- Don’t Give Up!
The last thing is be patient. Healing is not a linear process. There are dips and peaks all the time. A good homeopath will take you through the highs and lows, and communication is key. There is no limit to how much your child can improve, in his/her own time. The body has an innate ability to self-heal, to the best of its abilities and with the right stimulus.