Ailments from an Extremely Loud Noise

Mom, it’s time for the quiz.

I’m excited about another month of making important announcements, which Maria, at least, seems to like.

Great, so now we’re writing for one person!

Before we move on, I thought it would be a good time to share this song, to get people in a “September” mood.

Wait, let me guess, I’m good at this…. “Do you remember, the 21st night of September….”

No, no Mom, it’s not “September” by Earth Wind & Fire!

Oh.  That’s too bad because that would have really been a good idea.

“September Grass” by James Taylor!

D’oh!  Are you trying to put everyone to sleep? Who needs Valium when you’ve got James Taylor?  Well, OK, now that we’re all in a “September mood”, presumably…

…and speaking of James Taylor …

We were?

He’s still touring.

Oh! Well heaven forbid we shouldn’t know who’s touring!

And I keep waiting for his Facebook page to say that he’s coming back to Philadelphia.

Aaaaaaaah!!!!!!!

I just love the set-list he has.

You know his set list?

The fact that he’s working on new material for his up-coming album is exciting to us all.

It is?

My inner 3-year-old is bouncing up and down as we speak.

Your what?

Which brings me to my next announcement, which is about the Scorpions!

Aaaaaaah!!!!!!

Next year there’s going to be a documentary film about them.

No one cares, Shana!

A new album of songs that didn’t make it on past albums,

Oh! So there’s going to be a new album consisting of throw-aways! And this is going to cost me, how much?

And a 50th anniversary tour.

What a disaster!!

Remember when I said I would clean?

Yes, when is that going to start?

I’m still going to do it. I’ll take the trash out, and so on.

What about mowing the lawn?  The lawn needs mowing.  And by the way, could you also do the dishes and vacuum the carpets?

I think next year is going to be a year of hard decisions depending on when tour dates for the Scorpions and James Taylor are announced.

Maybe by next year we’ll be rich.

I know we already saw James Taylor….

Twice!!!!

but like I said, he’s got a good set list,

Again with the set-list!

and he has new material. I don’t think I ever won’t be attached to James Taylor!

How nice.  Moving right along….

Anyway I think you’ll like my next announcement.

Dear God, I hope so!

We saw the James Brown movie, “Get On Up”, last month which means I get to talk about Mick Jagger of The Rolling Stones.

What???? No! No! You do not get to talk about Mick Jagger of the Rolling Stones–again!   I get to talk about the Godfather of Soul, James Brown!

But Mick Jagger produced it!

Who cares, Shana!

I thought you were going to be nice to Mick Jagger since he produced the film.

But why do we have to talk about him???? What is it that you want to say about Mick Jagger, pray tell?

I just want to praise him a little bit.

You’ve got 10 seconds.

I thought “Get On Up” was good, just like you, and I wish we could somehow thank Mick Jagger for producing it. I thought Chadwick Boseman was great as James Brown. Remember how when we saw “Ray” you said that Jamie Foxx’s portrayal of Ray Charles was extremely realistic? I thought Chadwick Boseman’s portrayal of James Brown was just as good too.

Extremely! He did the impossible, he portrayed a man who was larger than life. Do you see this picture?

I don’t know if this is James Brown or Chadwick Boseman! But I assume it’s Chadwick Boseman because it’s in color.

I can’t tell either! In an interview, Mick Jagger said he thought about the movie “Ray” when he decided to produce the James Brown film. Remember you said you could see James Brown in Mick Jagger’s on-stage moves? I read that Mick admitted he copied James Brown.

I told you, I told you, I told you!  

I know you did, Mom!  You practically pushed me off my seat in the movie theater!!!!

Everyone was saying to Mick, “Oh, you’ll never find anyone good enough to play James Brown.” but I think he proved them wrong.

He did indeed!  Can we stop talking about Mick Jagger now?

Chad put in extra hours with the choreographer to get everything right, sought help from James Brown’s surviving family members for the part.  On a “Today Show” interview, they said Boseman learned all the choreography two days!

I can’t believe that!

Also there’s going to be a documentary about James Brown that Mick Jagger produced on HBO in October.

Oh good, put it on the calendar!  Can we stop talking about Mick Jagger now?

OK, but no more complaining when the Rolling Stones come on the radio!

I reserve the right to complain whenever I hear “Paint It Black” or “Hey You Get Off Of My Cloud”!

OK, you have a point there.  Can we start the quiz now?

Not before we watch the Godfather of Soul do “Get On Up” from “Late Night with David Letterman”, 1982; you’ll see why they say, “There is no other like this Soul Brother!”

************

And now…I don’t quite know how to follow that, except to say….once again…. Heeeeeere’s Claire!

Hey Elaine. I understand I have to follow James Brown with my daughter’s case? Ahem. Probably not the best idea you’ve ever had but here it goes! (That was a great video, by the way, and I just want to say to anyone who didn’t watch it… Why didn’t you watch it!?)   Anyway, here’s the case of my daughter, Mira. My husband, after cleaning out the gutters, found some fireworks in the garage and brought them out to the girls.  He found two items that just “popped” with colored strings flying out of them, and then there were those little white caps that you throw on the ground and they make popping noises. But then there was something else he found, just a noise-maker of sorts, but — Oh. My. Gosh. It sounded like he shot a gun right there! I don’t think he realized it would be that loud! The kids were startled, but Mira was TERRIFIED. She freaked, she grabbed me, she was shaky and crying.  I grabbed ___________30C from my pocket.

Within 15 seconds of a pellet in her mouth, she was totally calm!  Whew!

Another great story to add to the archives!

Thanks! I don’t think I can add much to it though, seems sort of brief — a very tidy and fast acute! Left as quickly as it came on! It was interesting to me that she was the only one of the four girls to respond that way; it was an extremely loud noise.

Claire, what do you think would have happened without _______________?

She would have recovered eventually of course, but it would have taken a *lot* longer in my arms and lots more crying and acting skittish, based on her personality.  As it was, before the pellet had even dissolved, she was back outside on the front porch with me, and she was accepting little “pop-its” from her dad’s hand and throwing them onto the cement sidewalk in front of us, watching them pop.  On the 4th of July, she was scared of even those little things and refused to hold them in her hand or throw them like the other girls!

There is also always the possibility that loud noises would have then routinely startled her because of this experience! I think that is where healing the acute minimizes the possibility of something becoming chronic.

Very wise words!  And now everybody, if you know what the remedy is….

Mom, wait, this just in!  Joan Rivers died!

She died of complications from an endoscopy, I think.

Good lord!  How do you die from an endoscopy?  Well, another medical mistake….

I remember her from an episode of “The Simpsons”, asking Ned Flanders to be in the audience for her infomercial. Then when Homer drives away, nearly running her over, she yells out,

“Help, my daughter’s not talented!”

Ha-ha! Joan Rivers always cracked me up! But wow! Look who we’ve lost at practically the same time–the funniest man in America, Robin Williams, and now the funniest woman in America, Joan Rivers! What was the likelihood of that happening?  Really shocking on both counts!

Do you remember that Joan Rivers was in “The Muppets Take Manhattan”?

I remember that!

Of course when I saw the movie as a kid I had no idea that was her. However the scene where she and Miss Piggy are putting make up on each other in the department store is hilarious.

And Mom, don’t forget this month’s “Funny Thing” from my childhood.

What’s the funny thing going to be this time?

It’s this one from 1998:

“No, I’m sorry, I’m not having breakfast; it’s spoils my appetite for dinner.”

Ha-ha! OK, now remember everybody, if you know the answer to this month’s quiz, write to me at [email protected], the answer will be in the October ezine. See you again next time, Bye-bye!

________________________

Elaine Lewis, D.Hom., C.Hom.

Elaine takes online cases! Write to her at [email protected]

Visit her website: elaineLewis.hpathy.com