Clinical Cases

Impact of Childhood Trauma On Adult Life

Written by Petra Cihlářová

Homeopath Petra Cihlářová shares two cases, one of a woman who hears voices which torment her. The other, a woman sexually abused by her father who felt she didn’t deserve any help.   

 

Everyone´s life is formed in childhood and quite a bit depends on its start, that is how our later life will look like. For children it is very important to have a peaceful home with loving parents, and absence of this is a disaster for the fragile soul of the child and can lead to many troubles in the future. Sometimes it seems everything is ok, but the crack in a child´s soul can bring bitter fruit in adult life. As an example I´d like to show you two cases from my practice.

The first and shorter one is the case of a young lady, 26 years old. She has just completed her university studies and started her first job at the Department of Education. Everybody assumed that she was able to do it in English as well as in Czech, but she misapprehended what is exactely her job and couldn´t imagine herself talking at a conference in Brusels about the digitalization in a teacher´s practise. She ought to have worked independently but she wasn´t able to and didn´t know how.

She had fears and anxieties with cramps in her stomach, she lost five kilograms. In her head she heard evil voices talking to her, saying: “You will fail, you are useless, everybody will laugh at you.“

I asked her: “ When in your life did those voices appear for the first time?“

She answered: ”When my parents got divorced.“. Then she dissolved into tears and talked about her childhood. She was quite a happy child until she turned sixteen and her parents got divorced. She suddenly lost her sense of security and her world  fell apart.

She was forced to decide with whom she wanted to live – with her mother or her father? She didn´t want to make such a decision, she loved both her parents and didn´t want to hurt anyone. Her soul cracked into two and that created a space for evil voices in her head, whispering  “ It is your fault, you are responsible for your parents getting a divorce…“  and many other bad things. In her head, many evil voices pushed her down. She described them as Dementors from Harry Potter, and just one little voice defended her.

Since that moment she lived with a strict judge inside her head, constantly criticizing her behaviour. When circumstances of her life were easy, she was able to manage. But when she graduated from school and had to stand on her own two feet, there was larger space for criticism and her Dementors amplified their voices.

Combination of many new things, responsibility in her new job and evil Dementors in her head lead to huge fear of failure, inner chaos and anxieties with deep convinction about approaching disaster.

First prescription: Anacardium D 1000.

Follow up after two weeks: She doesn´t hear the voices any more. Anacardium reduced her Dementors to silence. (Anacardium is one of the best remedies to stop voices in our patients´ heads. It helped many of my patients with this trouble). Voices disapeared but the fear of her job remained. She is lacking in self-confidence, is insecure about her abilities to do her job, sleeps badly and the tension from her job is projected even in her dreams .

Next prescription: Silicea 1M.

Follow up after two weeks:  She is relaxed, more positive, happier. She was able to gain confidence and quit her job. She is in a  good mood, has more energy, sleeps well.

This short case shows us  how  homeopathy can quickly and effectively help our patients. That lady was young and quite healthy in general and she had sixteen years of happy childhood in the past, so she was able to recover quite fast.

CASE II

This next case was more difficult and the recovery took more time and more remedies.

This lady was born in 1985 and she came to me in October 2020. Actually, it was her husband who pushed her to come, because she was convinced that she didn´t deserve any help. That´s  how awful she felt inside.

She cames from a seemingly good family, but there was more to this than meets the eye. Her father was sexually deviant. He abused her all her childhood and he treated her cruelly. Sometimes – when he felt like it – he cuddled her and  sexually excited her body and made love to her – but sometimes he ignored and humiliated her. She felt confused, worthless, hated herself for the sexual excitement she felt, she hated how she looked, who she was. She hated everything about her body.

When she was thirteen, she lead a double life. At school, she was among the best in her class, but she drank a lot of alcohol, told lies and wept every night. She felt as if she was watching a movie of her life from outside and alcohol gave her the stability to be inside her body again. As a child she felt invisible, ugly, lonely, damned, out of her body. She was desperate and self destructive.

On the outside, she looked succesful, a friendly young girl, but inside she hated herself and didn´t understand how people can think she is okay. She felt out of her body and watched herself from above. She wasn´t properly incarnated in her body, she hit the doorframe when she walked.

There was a huge gap betwen who she was and who she pretended to be and it took her a lot of energy to bridge it. It was hard for her to wake up in the morning and pretend to be okay all day. In the evening she drank alcohol or cried to relieve her inner pressure.

The main troubles in her physical body were constriction in the jaws and the pelvic area. She used to grind her teeth since childhood, her jaw muscles were under pressure all the time. Her hips were in tension as if she wanted to hide her whole pelvic area. She had hemeroids and a very painful menstruation. She had lumbar back pain. She developed eczema on her hands.

She has had several disastrous relationships with older men in the past, but now she is married and has a four-year-old son. Her sexuality is still complicated for her, full of remorse and quilty feelings. She  feels self-loathing, has no self confidence. She works as a health clown and she is very nervous before each performance.

The first remedy I gave her was Opium 200 – to put her back into her body.

This remedy worked for her beautifuly from October 2020 till March 2021 and it started her proces of healing. She became more aware of who she was, that what happened to her was not her fault. She was able to draw the line at blaming herself and defined her borders to her father.

She was suddenly aware that she used to live stuck and frozen and she became more free and present in her body and life.  For the first time in her life she realised, that she was in a terrible state and was waking up from a nightmare.

As she got more and more into her body, her old feelings from puberty and childhood came up but in a diferent manner. She was able to observe her feelings from above and she became more relaxed and was able to let them go.

It loosened her jaws and pelvic grips and she was able to talk fluently and also her sexual life improved 100%, she said. Day by day she feels better and better, as if she was waking up from a dream. She used to escape from reality a lot in the past, but now she is more present. She repeated the remedy sometimes, when she felt anxiety and fear of death, of Covid ( it was during the covid craziness period) or when she met her father.

Follow up on March 2021

“I´m under a spell“ “I can´t stand myself“  “ Opium has made me stable, don´t let me fall down into a hole“. Those were her own words. So, as we see, Opium did what it could but she still has low self-confidence, even her painful menstruation remained unchanged. She lives in a closed space and has huge fear to go out. “I reach the point when I feel stuck and fall down – as in a circle“ she said. So we can see clearly next remedy – Falco peregrinus disciplinarus 1M.

Remedy Falco-pe 1M worked for her from March 2021 till May 2021. “I´m realy glad about Falco“ she said. The relationship with her father turned healthy, they can communicate as two adult people. She has more energy and doesn´t escape out of her body. She is more open and able to express what she wants, there is less pain during menstruation, more energy.

Follow up on May 2021

She felt overpressure in her pelvic area, as if energy flowed into her and got stuck there – as a balloon filling her lumbar and pelvic region. She had bad experience with an acupunture doctor – he told her she was a spoiled child when she didn´t appreciate his treatment.

Again, she felt helpless  and left at his mercy, as she used to in the past at the mercy of her father. She felt painfuly injured in her femininity. “I have to fight to get back my basic rights“ she said.

So we see another remedy is coming up. Next prescriptoin  was Naja 200.

Naja woke up the sexuality of an adult woman, calm, gentle but powerful. Something in my patient´s head moved. For the first time in her life she openly talked with her boss and was surprised how good she felt.

She decided to be a full-time health clown and she finally found the right costume which suited her. She did a clown workshop for thirty people and felt great. Her energy was better and menstruation was without pain. In June, for the first time in her life, she woke up in the morning feeling she enjoyed her life.

Naja was quite good for her from May till September and we increased the potency to 1M. It also opened the issue of her marriage – she has never been in love with her husband, she got married to escape from her father. Her huband was ten centimetres shorter than she and they never were a good-looking couple, but he was a gentleman and they were good friends… So, she fell in love with a colleague.

Follow up in September 2021

She bought a red skirt and for the first time in her life felt good inside as a woman. In August, she acted in a theatre and felt perfect. Naja opened her issues one after another but she still felt as if someone held her in one point on her back and she couldn´t move on.

She still has a very strong self-control which works automaticaly and holds her back. She has created a forbidden zone: “Don´t be noisy, be invisible, don´t disgrace yourself“. Some obstacle in her head gives her a final “stop“ signal and disconnects her from herself. She is still grinding her teeth a lot and her main issue is self-control versus being herself.

Naja did a good job and we had to move on. Next presciption was Cypraea eglantina 200.

 Follow up in October 2021

She did her health clown act and it didn´t go well, she felt bad about it as she used to in the past, but for the first time in her life, her mind came up with “What about loving myself?“ Since then a huge refusal of herself disappeared from her head and she started to love herself.

After that she hosted a show for one hundred people and it was perfect. She said “I´m a completely different person after one year of treatment.“ Her jaw is almost ok, menses ok, pelvis still costricted but she is able to control it by willpower.

This remedy worked for her till April 2022 and brought up the topic of guilt. “I feel guilty inside and have huge fear of revealing my faults. I´m terrified of death, torture, and public degradation.“ “I pretend to be always kind and nice but inside me  is anger and it terrifies me.“

She felt her guilt as a stone inside her. “I have capsule inside which hides everything – abusing, turning the truth, lying,… and now I have huge self-control – I push and I present nice face outside, but inside there is an enormous pressure.“

Relationship with another man reminds her of her old feelings of rejection. When she discovered she was not his only girl, she felt as she used to when she was nine years old and her sister was born – rejected.

So we can clearly see that there is still a lot to do. We are still moving around the deep inner injury from incest.  Next remedy was Asterias rubens 200, for sexual rape in the past.

 Follow up on May 2022

Asterias moved something deep inside her. The remedy dragged her from a childish fixation on her father and she realized that she was in a submisive, desperate possition – willing to give everything to a man – but that she didn´t know how to receive, how to take what she needed. The remedy woke her up “I can do it by myself“ and she understood that she had to focus on herself, not on someone else.

After Asterias she had a dream about a tiger living in her cellar, starving and crying because she didn´t feed him for a long time. In that dream she was scared by the tiger but she realised, that it would be bad if she let him die because he belonged to her. Beautiful dream, confirming our treatment.

On a physical level – after the remedy, old troubles with digestion reappeared, sometimes back pain or headache but in general she was quite good.

She repeated Asterias 200 two times and we icreased potency to 1M in August 2022. It opened up her sexual energy. She was afraid it might overcome her, but that didn´d happen. She spoke openly with her husband and cleared up their relationship.

She has strong borders now and she is happy. She had a choice – to stay in dependence or to be independent – and she choose  independence.  Now she is able to see how huge was her dependency in the past. She made a contact with her female part.

Even her realtionship with her father improved and now is perfect. Now she wants to unify also with her male part, because her courage is stuck in her throat. Sometimes, she has difficulties expressing herself in front of her colleagues.

Follow up in November 2022

As we said before, she got married to escape from home, not out of love and she fell in a romantic love with her colleague. That´s a huge stress to live with in such a situation for anybody, but for her it triggered again her sadness, a tendency to escape from reality into a dream world, nervousness, grinding teeth, sensation of a bubble stuck in her throat and a huge fear that she will make a mistake.

”I´m not entitled to say anything because he treats me well“ was her very old sensation from her childhood which has come up again. Her main topic is love, falling in love, deep sensation inside. She is afraid to hurt many people and so she stays unhappy.

I gave her Rosa damescana 1M.

Follow up on January 2023 – the remedy worked with her brain and started to heal the discrepancy of her brain activity and by sexual abuse in childhood. Her old feelings of disconection from herself appeared for a while and had gone.

But all the time she worked normally. She found out that her colleague was not a good person and all supressed hatred  and anger came out and demonstrated as a desire to curse, unforgiveness, hatred of men and on her physical body as an air bubble in her stomach, that moved into her throat, stuck there  and made swallowing impossible.

I gave her Didelphis virginaria 200

Follow up in February 2023

This remedy, made from opossum, helped her to let out her anger and fully express her emotions. Also it helped with the stuck bubble in her thoat. She can swallow normally, no bubbles anymore and her hemorrhoids are much better. The relationship with her husband is much better, they respect each other.

She said:  “I recovered from being abused but one small part of me –  a young girl – is still stuck in one place as if she doesn´t want to get out. I was told that it  is love but now I can see that it is not, it  is dark and perverse. I have my light frozen deep inside me in a dark place and I feel as if in a letargy, unable to push it up and give the light to everybody who wants it. I´m helpless there, giving my power to a perverse man. I´m desperate, I can´t leave there and I don´t want to live my life just for giving everything to a dark man. It is the only place I can feel anything – in conection with the dark man – otherwise I feel nothing.“ She was in the darkness in her animal dark side, longing to be enslaved.

So we can see that we are on a good path but something is still to be solved, to help her integrate her inner young girl and help her out from the dark place. I gave her Lyssinum 10M.

Follow up on March 2023 – “Lyssiunum did a lot of good. It gave me back my life, my body, my space. I used to live for everybody´s needs, as if  it wasn´t my life, but now I reached my life and took it back,“ were her own words. She calmed down and she is easing off pressure. She has tranquility and peace in her soul.

Lyssinum was able to gently and efectively finish the case.

Homeopathy is a powerful tool and is able to heal very deep injuries of the soul, restore equilibrium and balance wellbeing of our patients. With our tiny remedies we can make huge changes in the lives of our patients. If we change the people, we can change the world. Let´s do it.

Petra Cihlářová

www.homeopatie-praha.com

About the author

Petra Cihlářová

Petra Cihlářová - Having left my occupation in engineering, I was for several years a full time mother of 5 children and thanks to them I discovered homeopathy. I fell in love with homeopathy when it cured my daughter's eczema and tendency to asthma and then I went on to learn it myself. I now work as a professional homeopath. I graduated from the Homeopathy Academy in Prague in 2001 and have practised in Prague up to now. I was pleasantly surprised when my case of Natrium silicatum received a glowing welcome in a conference at LMHI in Paris in 2014. Nowadays I usually cure people with homeopathy and also with my enthusiasm from the very beginning. I also teach homeopathy. www.homeopatie-praha.com

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