This is a case of a 36 year old lady who came to me with recurrent suppurative tonsillitis and blocked fallopian tubes. Conventional doctors had told her that she would never conceive, after all their treatment failed. She had given up hopes of having her own baby and had adopted her sister’s daughter. The focus of the case is to become active. I became active with this as a focus as I saw the words “bonding”and “unite” coming up again and again in different areas.
Passive case witnessing
D – So today’s session is know you better, to know you as a person along with your physical problems, Whatever naturally comes up, just talk about it. You can begin with anything about your nature, likes and dislikes, physical problems, things that bother you. Whatever spontaneously you feel like talking about.
P – Ok, I am 36 yrs old, I got married when I was 25 and till 2010 actually I faced no issues with health as such. Everything was going smooth, everything was going fine, I was always on a heavier side; weight was a concern but I was not obese.
Because I got married early we were planning to have our child later, I mean we delayed it for quite some time but later it really went to a level where I had conception problems. So then I was introduced to a fertility specialist, she said my fallopian tubes, they are blocked, so I opted for the IVF treatment. I conceived with IVF and I had twins. It was 27th February 2012, I was just sitting at home and my leg was swollen up and things were not right. Then I went to her the next day and she told me you get hospitalised and I got hospitalised. My BP was 200 something and then she said that now we can only save you or the children, so there was this kind of a situation in life. Then obviously my family said let go off the children and we’ll save you, I had a miscarriage, because of pre-eclampsia. I think that’s when it all started; I couldn’t take all of that. And after that it took me almost a year because I went to a BP specialist also, because my BP was always on the higher side. Then she told me within 3 months, this is because of the pregnancy stuff and she put me on medicines.
It took me almost a year to come out of depression. In 2013 October, suddenly my throat started getting affected. It used to pain and I couldn’t even swallow properly. Then I tried to do gargling and couple of times blood came out, that’s when I got a little scared. I went to the doctor and he said that it is because you might have coughed hard. After that since November this is persistent. I have taken at least 3 doses of antibiotics for almost 10 days and again it’s come back, so it’s like October, November, December, now in January so it’s a recurring problem that is happening to me since October now.
Not having a baby of my own has affected me a lot. I used to discuss this with my sister and she suggested about adoption. I went in for adoption. We adopted my sister’s baby. I started enjoying life. Generally I am a happy go lucky kind of a person, but on the other end I am very short tempered, Very emotional. Very close to my parents and my sister. So very dependent on my parents, my life revolves around my sister and my parents, it’s like that. My husband has been the pillar of support always, so he has always been there for me and after we went through this the bonding has become stronger. So he is a great support in my life.
D – Tell me something more about you as a person, anything that you can tell me?
P – I believe that being with friends and family is the only way one can move ahead in life. I am always there for people whom I love. If I like someone I can give my whole life to that person. But if I don’t like anyone then I just don’t care and I show it at times. So mine is an extreme behaviour. I just can’t balance, my husband always says balance yourself, but I can’t balance. If you are bad to me, I am bad to you. If you are good to me, I am very good to you. So that’s what I am as a person.
My daughter is like the world now, I love being with her, love spending time with her. My in-laws are staying with us so I keep my daughter either with them or with my parents when I go to work. I love my niece as well, and I am being honest, the first person whom I care about now will be my niece and then my daughter, as she is the first child in our family. She is my life line right now. Things have changed after babies but before that life was revolving around friends and husband, I don’t take him as a husband, more as a friend to me, he is my biggest support, without him I don’t think I would have reached where I am.
Obviously my dad, if we talk about my parents, my dad he is everything to me, I mean I can’t stay without him as well and yes my mom of course. And when it comes to in-laws I don’t have a very cordial relations, it’s just a very platonic, a very ok relationship because they are very selfish.
D – Little bit more; you are doing very good, just go more close to yourself.
P – I am very religious, I believe in god. I can be spiritual, plus I can be like letting go of myself. I love dancing, I love music. So these are things that really keep me on in life, they had, but things have changed after 2012, things have changed. I am not the same person what I was. Probably of whatever has happened, of I don’t know and time also has been a big constraint for me.
And I just enjoy being in a place like a beach where there is lot of water, there is a mountain. So anything related to water attracts me.
I get fascinated by a lot of mantra’s, Anything spiritual so that really attracts me, so I would love to hear it or write it down. I love writing anything; I can write for hours, I love writing. I hate reading, I can’t read. I love watching movies, total movie buff but, over 1 yr – 2 yrs we have not done that because of these issues. Love partying, love meeting people whom I know rather than meeting new people, partying with the same group ten times whom I know. I don’t like meeting new people and making new friends, don’t like going outside my comfort zone. The friends that I am talking about to you are more than 18 – 20 years now that I have made. I can just have a casual hi, bye relationship but I don’t tend to make new friends now. So networking with people other than who I know, that has always been a problem with me. I prefer sitting at home rather than going and meeting new people because I feel my comfort zone is only my set of those 10 friends
Comfort zone means my own comfort zone of meeting people, bonding with them. I have 10 of my friends that is a comfort zone, we crack our jokes, they know me. I know them that’s it. Moving beyond, suppose that my friend has another friend, showing that same self of mine to that other person I will not. It will be a very, very cold kind of a relationship, hello, hi, that’s it.
D – Tell me something about your childhood, how were you as a child?
P – I remember I used to get scared in the nights, when I see horror movies I put my fingers in the ear. I mean that ways I am very scared of ghosts and spirits and so that has been there very strongly in childhood I remember.
During my childhood we had a family where everybody was in different areas but everybody was very, very united, and bonded. We used to go and meet all our cousins. We didn’t have the term cousins in our family, they were always brothers and sisters, though we were two real sisters but, because of my uncle’s sons we were 9 of us together.
I used to hate my mom’s maternal side, I used to not enjoy going there, and I remember that. I used to love going to my father’s side and then they used to always fight that she never comes to our side. My father’s elder brother who expired, he has one son, one daughter, so he was born and after 6 months I was born. So we are closer than he and his sister, so that was the kind of bonding that we had. I didn’t have a very, very strong bonding with my sister till she passed out of college.
D – Any dreams that you have had when you sleep at night?
P – I Used to get this dream, one helicopter going somewhere and is breaking off, I don’t remember very clearly, that’s it. Some helicopter going somewhere and it gets crashed.
D –Be with it and tell me again. What do you see in the dream?
P – It used to be a big mountain you know and I just remember that there was this helicopter, a white colour helicopter, and it crashed. I try to understand what happened, I am sleeping and suddenly I think I am falling, but I am not falling actually it’s the helicopter.
D – What about the dream catches your attention?
P – The crash, the crash, why did the helicopter Crash like, it just goes boom and I see two pieces of the helicopter separating from each other….
Active case witnessing with focus
D – You keep saying this a lot, bonding, unite. Just describe it to me, generally. What do you mean by that?
P – Bonding is affection, love, sense of belongingness, being together, being happy, joy, having fun, caring, sharing, loving, being loved, being appreciated, always having that feeling that somebody is there for me. I can always have that support system. Being dependent, like I don’t like to live my life alone, I am not a loner, so my decisions always revolved around someone or the other, whether it’s my husband, my friend, my sister, my mother, my father. So any decision that I take is not my solo decision, it is always with the consent of somebody whom I look upon to. Bonding is spending time also and just being there for the person, even if you don’t have time.
D – More about this bonding and united. Whatever comes up to talk about it, just be with it and keep talking!
P – It’s a lifeline, it’s my life.
D – In the sense?
P – That’s what my life is all about. Be with a people whom I bond to, rather than wasting my time with people whom I don’t want to be with.
D – Just describe this a little bit more.
P – Yeah, comfort zone, you feel comfortable with people whom you bond. I have said more or less everything that I feel about it.
D – More about just these words, use your imagination and just explain these words bonding, unite, life line.
P – Bonding, it’s like fevicol (An adhesive). People who you bond with you want to be with them till your last breath, you don’t want to be apart. And for me it should be with all those people whom I love. I should see them till I am there. If I lose them there is hollowness. Can’t imagine life without my parents because I am so dependent on them, can’t feel that, I don’t know what I am going to do.
D – Again just be with this bonding, united, like a life line, comfort zone, just describe this little bit more. Use more of your imagination.
P – It’s basically an aura for me. It is the only thing that connects me to people, till I can’t bond, till I can’t unite, I am not what I am , I am not myself. Who I connect with me can give my life too. I can give everything to them. There is no particular way how it comes in, it’s just that connect happens like it just happens.
D – More about it, just keep going, it’s like a life line you said, what do you mean by that?
P – That’s what I live my life for, for my family and my friends, that’s what I have been living my life all these years for I mean, I need a purpose in life and my purpose revolves around them and that only happens when you have that bond and you have that connectivity that’s how it falls as a life line. So that bond is basically an attraction, like you are secured. Tomorrow anything can happen to you, but because of this bond that you have with people nothing can happen to you all that you need will be taken care of.
D – More?
P – It’s a ball of love, it’s a ball of affection, it is a ball of care. It’s the reason of your existence.
D – It’s like a ball you said, describe what you mean by a ball?
P – Like I am standing like this (HG: Both palms cupped, facing each other) I am holding that ball of rays, it’s a whit colour ball ok and then it has a lot of rays and I see my mother, my father, my husband, my sister, my sister’s husband, my daughter and so on and so forth. You are breathing, you’re eating properly, all parts in your body are fine, and you are working. That’s your life line. Till I exist I would like to be with them, see them. You attach to somebody. These relationships you can attach yourself to, relationships can be anything like your mother, father, daughter, whatever, it could be some work, it could be God.
D – Attaching you to somebody – describe this.
P – Right now it’s just like a Kangaroo mother and a child Kangaroo in her pocket. That is attaching. Like a mother Kangaroo how she holds her child that could be her life line in the pocket right in her own pocket. So that is physically attaching each other.
D – Describe this more about this little bit, I didn’t understand.
P – When you are saying attaching, a life line so what instantly came to me in my mind was the female Kangaroo holding her child in her pocket in the front. That’s her lifeline that she could attach too, the mother attaching herself to the child. That was physically attaching. It would be warm, it would be a nice warm pocket and the baby would be feeling the most secure, I mean for him that is the world. That pocket for him is the world. The best place to be in.
D –You said this mother attaching to the child is like a life line, just describe this thing to me in general. Mother for child is like a lifeline.
P – Mother has taken 9 months to create that child, the kind of pains that she has gone through, the kind of joy, happiness. So similarly the child has grown inside the mother’s womb for 9 months. So we don’t know what the child goes through, we know what the mother goes through. So the mother has attached herself obviously because physically they are attached from within, the child has attached to the umbilical cord, there is some attachment and that’s how when you see somebody coming out of your own body, its life which has come out. So your lifeline is attached to that person, if anything happens to the person you will be dead.
D – In the sense?
P – If anything worst happens, if supposing the child dies so you will also die. That is the worst comes worst.
D – Like an umbilical cord you said?
P – That is the way of attaching right the child and the mother. That is a physical attachment; obviously there is some emotional attachment to hai hi. So that is one way of, that is how you can say that it’s a lifeline.
D – Describe this umbilical cord thing to me?
P – Umbilical cord is cord which basically is attaching the child to the mother, through which the existence of his survival happens for the child. He gets his energy, food, everything from that cord whereas physically he is weak from within, he alive because of that. So that is the umbilical cord and it’s very important for both mother and child who attach the mother and child.
D – In this entire imagination where do you put yourself? From what we are talking you put this entire image in front of you. In general where do you put yourself?
P – Being the child in the womb.
D – This is what you mean to say?
P – Correct, still I am a lot dependent on my parents, still I don’t feel that I have my own child and I have grown up. Still for small, small things I talk to them, like how we used to talk. I have note grown over these years when it comes to dependency and being open and talking to people.
D – So if I have understood you well, all these things that you have been talking about, the comfort zone, the pouch of the kangaroo, the child, the ball, etc. is the life line, something that is protecting you, around you? And Like you are like a child within it who has got this umbilical cord like attachment to people around you?
P – True, very true.
D – And if that is not there you feel?
P – Lost.
D – You feel fear, as if you don’t exist?
P – Yes, exactly.
D – That the reason why you get that dream of something is crashing?
P – Could be.
D – There are also two parts which crash apart. Which is exactly the opposite of what you say?
P – Yes, very true
D – This is what I have understood from what you say, does it make sense?
P – Yes. I want to be attached, and not separated.
Analysis of the case
Peculiar aspects during passive case witnessing:
I would list out all those things like words, phrases, hand gestures, body gestures etc. I found peculiar during passive case taking.
- fallopian tubes, they are blocked,
- now we can only save you or the children
- my family said let go off the children and we’ll save you,
- Suddenly my throat started getting affected.
- Not having a baby of my own has affected me a lot.
- very dependent on my parents, my life revolves around my sister and my parents,
- My husband has been the pillar of support always,
- The bonding has become stronger.
- Being with friends and family is the only way one can move ahead in life.
- I just can’t balance, my husband always says balance yourself, but I can’t balance.
- My niece is my life line right now.
- And I just enjoy being in a place like a beach where there is lot of water, there is a mountain.
- I feel my comfort zone is only my set of those 10 friends.
- Comfort zone means my own comfort zone of meeting people, bonding with them.
- I am very scared of ghosts and spirits
- Everybody was in different areas but everybody was very, very united, and bonded.
- Very strong bonding with my sister till she passed out of college.
- Dream: one helicopter going somewhere and is breaking off,
- Crash like, it just goes boom and I see two pieces of the helicopter separating from each other….
Additional deeper insight into her case after active case taking
- Bonding is affection, love, sense of belongingness, being together, being happy, joy, having fun, caring, sharing, loving, being loved, being appreciated, always having that feeling that somebody is there for me. I can always have that support system. Being dependent, like I don’t like to live my life alone, I am not a loner, so my decisions always revolved around someone or the other, whether it’s my husband, my friend, my sister, my mother, my father. So any decision that I take is not my solo decision, it is always with the consent of somebody whom I look upon to. Bonding is spending time also and just being there for the person, even if you don’t have time.
- It’s a lifeline, it’s my life.
- It’s like fevicol (An Adhesive). People who you bond with you want to be with them till your last breath, you don’t want to be apart.
- till I can’t bond, till I can’t unite, I am not what I am , I am not myself.
- It’s a ball of love, it’s a ball of affection, it is a ball of care. It’s the reason of your existence.
- Till I exist I would like to be with them, see them. You attach to somebody.
- Like a mother Kangaroo how she holds her child
- the mother attaching herself to the child.
- the child has attached to the umbilical cord,
- So your lifeline is attached to that person, if anything happens to the person you will be dead.
- Umbilical cord is cord which basically is attaching the child to the mother, through which the existence of his survival happens for the child. He gets his energy, food, everything from that cord whereas physically he is weak from within, he alive because of that. So that is the umbilical cord and it’s very important for both mother and child who attach the mother and child.
- Being the child in the womb.
The entire case gives us a feel of her inability, lack of being on her own, of existing in her own, and fending for herself. She always needs a support, bond, nourishment from a structural ball like that of a mother’s womb which would help her survive.
The issue of existence, connection, bonding, separation, and attachment like a child on mother, the representation of a ball, like a womb of the mother brings us to row 2.
She is not in panic as we see in column 1. There is some sense of existence but still she needs a lot of support. This made me think of column 2.
Remedy: Beryllium Metallica
- Elements of Homeopathy by Dr. Jan Scholten
- Structure Volume 1 & 2 By Dr. Rajan Sankaran
Follow up summary:
1st follow up: During the first follow up after a month her tonsillitis and acidity were all better. She did not get any attack. I continued with placebo. She said she is getting dependent on these medicines.
3 months follow up: This follow up shocked me and her both. She walked in with a positive pregnancy report.
Yes…she was pregnant.
She said she is feeling a 180 degree change in herself as a person. Her dependency has remarkably reduced. She can handle situations without any anxiety or fear on her own.
1 year from the treatment:
The patient has over all improved on all levels.
She delivered a baby girl 2 weeks back. The joy on her face is unexplainable.
I haven’t repeated any further dose of the medicine. Only one dose of Beryllium Metallica 1M was prescribed.