Up Through the Cracks

Up Through the Cracks

Johnson, come in here!

Yes sir?

Look here Johnson, we’ve genetically engineered
most crops, so now we own the seeds. We’ve outlawed vitamins
with our Codex trick. We’re driving herb companies out of
business with new regulations. We have government regulatory agencies
in our pocket. So what’s left?

Well sir, there’s still the homeopathy problem. More people
are using it all the time. Eventually it will turn people away from
our drugs. What’s more, they have successful homeopathic hospitals
in England for the last hundred years, apparently curing people.

Homeopathic hospitals in a major industrialized
country? A member of the G8? Not good. Got to get rid of those!
What have we been doing Johnson?

Well sir, our propaganda machine has been attacking homeopathy
for years, but the people still want it. They believe it’s
safe, effective and affordable.

We have to change those beliefs, Johnson.
We’ll just do a study showing homeopathy doesn’t work.

But sir, the people believe it works.

Then we’ll bypass the people, go right
to the funding source. What is it, the Primary Care Trusts? Yes,
undermine it to them. We have some academics on payroll and friends
in the media.

But what if we do a study and it proves homeopathy works?

Don’t worry, we’ll rig the study,
the same way we rig all our own research. In fact, let’s take
some of their own studies and do a fake Meta-analysis. We’ll
use their own strengths against them. Hahahha. I learned that one
from Karl Rove.

I don’t understand sir. Scores of studies appear to show
homeopathy does work?

You obviously didn’t grow up on a farm,
Johnson. Cherry picking my boy, cherry picking. There’s a
good man, Shank, is that his name?

Shang, sir.

Oh yes. Ring him up. He’ll do a Meta-analysis
and make it appear he used a hundred or more studies, but really,
cherry pick a handful that don’t give good results. That Ernest
fellow can follow up with articles trashing homeopathy. He’s
got himself planted as a friend of complementary medicine hahaha!
A real wolf in sheep’s clothing.

I think he’s Earnst, sir, not Earnest .

He’s clearly not earnest, eh Johnson?
Hahaha!! While he’s at it, maybe he can neutralize the Prince
of Wales. The Prince, has been a thorn in our side for years, with
his high profile and support of homeopathy. Ernst can write an article,
something like, “It’s not the Prince’s business
to talk about medical care”. That should do it.

Oh, and maybe the Lancet can produce a good
headline. Something dramatic and final. Let me see…Oh yes,
“THE END OF HOMEOPATHY”..Yes, yes …….that has
a nice ring.

Very creative sir, if I must say so . But sir, the Lancet actually
did a meta-analysis some time ago showing homeopathy works.

You’re only good as your last act boy.
This will be a NEW study.

Do you think people will believe such a big lie?

The bigger the better Johnson. I learned
that from a master.

One year later:

How are we doing with that homeopathy thing

Well sir, we really spooked those Primary Care Trusts, got many
to stop referrals. But…

But what Johnson? !

Well sir, the people started paying out of pocket. We can’t
seem to stop them. Homeopathy is getting bigger all the time, like
grass growing between the cracks. I think the tide may not be with
you on this. It’s cropping up in other countries too, a real
populist movement. And sir, there’s one other thing.

What’s that?

Well, my son struggled with asthma for years. Frightening really,
choking in the middle of the night. Got sick from the medicines.
Finally, I took him to a homeopath. And he was cured. Really cured.
Doesn’t need drugs anymore.

Nonsense Johnson. Probably never had asthma!
I want you to start a new campaign now. Do more studies , make people
afraid of homeopathy, just like we did with vitamin E. Buy us more
professors, get more negative press. What do you think Johnson?

Well sir, I think…I think….I quit.

# # #

This month in Homeopathy for Everyone:

“Removing the Guesswork from Potency Selection” by
Dr. Joe Rozencwajg. This is an entirely new method of using potencies,
never before published. Also, part II of Practical Miasmatic Prescribing
by Dr. Subrata Banerjee, a very practical and useful guide. Katja
Schutt has written a comprehensive work titled “Surgery and
Homeopathy”. This is a good one to download for future reference.
And see part II of Natural Immunity. There are more articles, great
cases, a quiz and monthly cartoon. So dig in!

Send your article, cases, research and comments to [email protected]

Alan V. Schmukler
Associate Editor
Homeopathy for Everyone

About the author

Alan V. Schmukler

Alan V. Schmukler

Alan V. Schmukler is a homeopath, Chief Editor of Homeopathy4Everyone and author of ”Homeopathy An A to Z Home Handbook”, (also available in French, German, Greek, Polish and Portuguese). He is Hpathy’s resident cartoonist and also produces Hpathy’s Tips & Secrets column and homeopathy Crossword puzzles each month. Visit Alan at his website: Here.

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