A 27 year old woman visited us on December 2010 for Irregular Menses. Briefly she had a chronic complaint of Amenorrhea caused primarily by PCOS, diagnosed since 7 years. Before visiting us, she had taken allopathic, ayurvedic and also homeopathic treatments from many doctors with minimum relief. She had developed secondary symptoms of PCOS viz weight gain, hair fall & joint pains.
Generally we provide a case history form to fill out well in advance to every patient. Invariably every case goes through a short meditative process before interaction with the patient begins, which helps to create a conducive aura between patient and doctor. This procedure has proven beneficial in all sorts of cases.
Detailed Unwinding of the Case is presented below.
D: Tell me your problems.
P: I am here primarily because I have PCOS and I have had it from past 7 years. That’s the only complaints I have.
D: What way does it bother you?
P: PCOS I don’t know, on one level I have sort of given up on it. Its 7 years but I don’t know why it’s not been treated up till now. I am actually a very optimistic person. I always believe that things will be better even in the worst situation. But this is one thing that has really brought me down. Also I don’t have the confidence to carry anything to the end even if I take up a diet plan or a new exercise program I can’t finish it to the end. I wish I could have been little more stronger. I don’t have much power on my life. I don’t know why I am telling you all this… (Laughs)
I don’t have a fixed opinion about anything, my personality keeps shifting. I get bored very easily. I just keep day dreaming the entire day. I am happiest when I day dream. In your dreams you can make things seem so nice. If you are in a really bad place you can just shut your eyes and say ah! OK I am on a little fairy land on a boat or I am swimming… I don’t know I just love dreaming movies which are very dreamy and whimsical. when I was young I used to read a lot of Enid Blyton stories I loved those books it’s a faraway place there’s a magical tree, when I was young I used to dream about me picking strawberries. I love strawberries I used to go picking strawberries in a little farm with a little basket with me. And life is just very simple and people pray together and people are happy. Sometimes I imagine myself to be in the Middle East. I love the desert, I just like the hot climate a lot,I hate cold weather even if I sweat even if it is very humid I don’t mind. I always imagine myself either I am in the woods or I am walking on a sunny days somewhere in the middle east and I have a camel with me and the little tents that you put up. I just feel we know too much now. Too much of exposure; too much of information to do with a simple life. Like cooking food on a tiny wooden stove I mean the fire wood and simple aromatic meal and you are sitting on a floor and cooking; not in an Oven or a microwave. It is so much better to think of all these things than to think of the real world.
Whenever I am bored or sad I just shut my eyes and day dream. It’s my little world and I can do whatever I want over there I can make it the way I want and no one will tell me what’s write what’s wrong. I control it that’s why I like it.
I love reading Khalid Husain’s books, there is a male figure in the house he is controlling the house I wished my father could have been like that but he is not. I can’t control my life I wish someone would give more direction and that’s why I wanted to get married to someone who is very strong kind of personality so he controls me like a typical man who is a hunter who goes out to hunt and the wife at home she makes food and takes care of the kids. I don’t mind a simple life somebody whom I can look up to and is powerful, strong and he is still caring and affectionate and so you should not scared of his authority. I want him to shout at me, I want him to discipline me. All my life my father has never shouted at me I guess that’s why I have become like this. I like that kind of a set up like you have distinct roles for both husband and wife; which my family never had. I always dream husband as a hunter he is a strong, he hunts and he protects the family and takes care of the family. He tells me go inside the house don’t go out its dangerous for you. I don’t mind listening to those things. I don’t mind somebody dominating me. My father never gave me control so now I want someone who can actually control me.
[What we see here is that she doesn’t have her own control, her own direction in life which shows that her senses are not adequately developed. That she needs someone else to control her and to direct her. She wants someone to dominate her and to tell her what is right and what is wrong for her, who makes her feel protected. For her, a male figure should be like a strong hunter. So we need to find out what control means to her.]
D: So how does it feel to you not to have control?
P: I feel as though I have two people within me and fighting with each other like I can challenge you, you have no control let me challenge your control.
D: As though you have 2 people within?
P: Yeah! There are always 2 voices within my head. There’s always a conflict I know everyone has their inner voice. I feel that I have 2 people within me and I talk a lot to myself actually and it just sounds that one voice is stronger than the other.
D: Describe this.
P: one is doubtful voice, and other is a strong voice.
[As though there are two people fighting where one is stronger than the other. This is the animal nature, one stronger than the other. With the underlying theme of need to be dominated to be in control.]
D: Tell me about this conflict a little bit more.
P: I don’t choose actually they control me. For sometimes one is more powerful so I follow that sometimes other is more powerful so I follow that.
D: So how does it feel to you to be controlled?
P: I feel weak, helpless. As though I am the animal and they have the reins in my neck. So they can drive me where ever they want…defenseless! I feel unintelligent, dumb. I feel like an animal.
[So it’s a strong force where she can’t stand up to it. She perceives herself like a weak, helpless, defenseless, unintelligent animal.]
P: I can’t fight, it’s a very strong force, I can’t stand up to it. Like maybe you are fighting in a war and you don’t have any weapons and there is someone with a powerful gun, axe or something and they can harm you. You are running away as you are a little animal like a mouse or some sort of rabbit or some sort of a deer. And there is nothing to protect you there is no armor around you, there is no shell around you. Just exposed…as though your weakest point is known to everyone.
D: Describe that experience of exposed.
P: Feel like lost; want to covering, hide. You feel lonely and there’s no direction, no power, no control… feeling exposed and open. It’s like you can’t be hidden, covered or burrowed somewhere. There’s no curtain, you are just exposed anything can attack you and you are visible to the world.
D: Describe that.
P: You are cowering… you are small (H.G.: showing small)
D: Just the Gesture….
P: it’s just like I am trying to cover, hide, conceal myself, want to burrow away, and covered by earth. Hide be in the cave or be in a hole inside the tree. Hide yourself so that no one can see you.
[So being exposed is being attacked and you need to hide, hiding is by burrowing somewhere.]
D: Be in the cave…
P: It’s like a concealed; covered cave, its dark, its black you can’t see anything it is hidden. It’s like wrapping a baby in a blanket. Feel safe, protected and taken care of, nurtured. You are just tightly knit; like a close family.