Tuberculinum Fairy Tale
A story says that in a far away land Nosodia, where grown ups never stepped, lived many children and their king, a boy-troll, named Tuber Pan. Tuber Pan was never in one place. He didn’t want to grow up, he didn’t want to go to school. He only wanted to play, to walk around, to be here in one moment and there in the very next. He always talked to the children a bit hectically and with enthusiasm: “You know… that… school… family… dentist, ha, ha, ha! And then, your room and computer… you are always at the same place, everything is familiar to you”…”You must! You should!” “I’m free from that! That is one big cage, parent’s trap… the tunnel they force you into. That suffocates, even if it is love. Like mum, dad… man, you have to listen to them… and me? I dooooon’t want that! I want to be freeeeee… to fly and breathe this wonderful air, I want wind to blow in my face… to sit on a cloud and pick my nose… to fly faster than birds… I don’t want to grow up, to be in pain… I want to climb mountains, to jump from tree to tree… to dive deep… to help you to get free from oppression… parents, brothers. I want to take each one of you with me, to an adventure!”
His only enemy was a cat, named captain Alopus. He was like a real tiger, with big claws, which looked more like hooks than tiger’s claws, in fact, cat’s claws. And his fur was so thick and soft that it made you shudder. The only person who could calm Pan down was his friend Homea, the little, angry and gentle fairy. When she shouted: “Tuuuubeeeer! Cooome heeeree!, Right now!!”, Tuber would come in a second.
“Take off that handset and listen to me, I can’t yell no more, my head is bursting! Take a bath, you stink… Aha, I’m sure you got all sweaty from your homework… and later, we’re gonna cut your nails, soon you’ll be like the Captain! Then… don’t look at me that way and shiver with your legs… then we’ll brush your teeth or else you’re going to see a dentist, you’ll lose them… And, for lunch today we have… meat… I don’t want to hear”. NO!! “I’m the only one here who can say No”. I don`t want to hear “yuk”, nor “I’m not hungry”, because you’re never hungry, and then you prowl all night… and no more sweet berries, nor coconut milk… don’t clench your teeth! Why are you so stiff, you didn’t even take off your shirt!? Mother dear, how skinny you are. Tuber, stop hemming and shivering, get in a bath… don’t you even think of throwing the soap away… this is not cold, don’t make it up. I’m gonna make you look like a child, not a whirligig”.
Sulphur Fairy Tale
Once upon a time lived a czar who liked to give orders and advice all day long on how to solve problems and do a job in the best way – and he enjoyed being listened to. While everybody else was working, he was the Czar. Most of all, the Czar liked to stay in front of a mirror and enjoy: “Oh, Sulphy, my dear, how beautiful, elegant, refined you are… these clothes you wear suit you so well… I can tell you that this idea about cuffs was great. You are so talented, and I must admit that you have style… wherever I look I see only beauty. Your haircut… shirt… sock design… and shoes. Oh, they have to be polished, and I don`t have a button here, and…”. “’Your Majesty, the bath is ready! The hairdresser and the beautician are here. You must cut your nails and get rid of those pimples!”.
“Pimples! What are you talking about, dumbhead!? Me and pimples! Can’t you see, my skin is as the finest velvet, smooth and soft. Yes. My lids are a bit swollen and eyes bloodshot because I don`t sleep all night!! I take care of my empire!! Not a single dime should be wasted!! This empire must not be poor. Neither our sons, nor grandsons… I am worried!! I work!! I am irreplaceable!? I pull my hair… Here, my shoes… Who is going to pay for new ones? I always care for something!! And you, pimples! Oh, I can’t stand any more, I don’t have strength… I’m so exhausted from all this caring that I must lie down. So what if it’s only 11 a.m.! Irrigation and those letters I’ll finish later… and I have a new project from yesterday. No, I can’t take a bath now, let them come in three days, it’ll be warmer. Close the door! This fold is all messed up!”.
One day, two frauds, Cortico and Antibo, came to Sulphy’s empire as world famous tailors. The Czar accepted them because they had promised him such clothing that would make him the most beautiful and the most respected czar of all czars. Sulphy enjoyed their looks full of admiration, while they were dressing him in curtains and some torn blankets. Once, they made a cloak of some old rug and convinced him that it was the finest chinese silk made especially for him. The Czar wanted to show himself and to amaze his people. For that occasion, the tailors made an invisible fabric which “gleamed with a thousand colours”. They put “nothing” on the Czar and let him walk through the town in torn underwear. People knew how the Czar’s anger could be, so they pretended that “nothing” was actually “something amazing”. The Czar was self-contented and proud until a little boy, named Homeo, shouted: “The Czar is naked!”