How many of you remember last month’s quiz? Here it is again:
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Mom, I thought you were never going to do a “completely different” quiz again! Remember what happened last time?
Yes, Shana, I remember. But, what else can we do? We lost all our cases when we had to wipe our hard drive clean! Remember the computer virus that wouldn’t go away?
Oh yes, that does sound familiar…..
It was a disaster, a complete disaster!!!!!
So what are we going to do now?
I’m glad you asked that question, because our quiz this month should be a lot of fun!
Is that sooooooooooo…..????
Yes, that is soooooooooo…….. Here’s the question: How did the following remedies ruin the New Years Eve party?
1. Ignatia
2. Nat-mur.
3. Calc-carb.
4. Arsenicum alb.
5. Argent-nit.
6. Causticum
7. Lycopodium
8. Sulphur
9. Staphyagria
10. Coffea
Now get to work! I want everyone to have fun or I’m going to start handing out demerits!
This does sound like fun!
Oh, and happy holidays!
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OK, gang, let’s get my answers out of the way first, shall we? Here we go:
How did the following remedies ruin the New Year’s Eve party: Ignatia cried loudly the whole time over some imagined slight! Nat-mur. wouldn’t speak to anyone out of self-consciousness. Calc-carb wanted to go home. Arsenicum thought the food had been poisoned and called the police. Argent-nit. had a panic attack when she couldn’t find the exit. Causticum seized the microphone and called for a general strike. Lycopodium was caught in the cloak room with the host’s wife. Sulphur read out loud from a physics book. Staphysagria accused everyone of criticizing him and Coffea’s hearing was so sensitive that he told everyone to be quiet! Hey, why wasn’t I invited?
Mom, the last time you were invited to a party you made everyone listen to Barbra Streisand!
Oh, right. I forgot about that. So, moving right along….
Did anyone else send in a quiz answer?
Um……….. yes, let me see if I can count them, hold on… dum-de-da-de-da….. One.
One???????
One.
Mom! Out of 40,000 readers, only one person answered the quiz?
Maybe the others were busy.
Who was it from?
Our dear friend Nancy! She wrote an article called “A Cat’s Carcinoma” for the very first issue of the ezine, remember?
What was it about?
A CAT!
Oh.
So, here’s her quiz answer. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you now…Nancy Siciliana!
Okay, I’ll bite: Ignatia puts on her most glamourous outfit-complete with hair do and long dark opera gloves, and fabulous high heeled shoes. She heads out for the party looking like a million bucks. The glittering lights from the balcony would make the perfect backdrop for her look, she thinks: but once she’s out there, surrounded by the smokers in the one “smoking allowed zone” of the host’s apartment, she stops being the serene glam queen and scathingly shrieks a bitter condemnation against the “filthy” guests before leaving in an asthmatic huff. Natrum muriaticum also takes great pains to look good for the party, knowing his ex-girlfriend, the love of his life, will also be there. His chance for a New Year’s kiss! But she arrives with her new beau, and flashes a brilliant diamond ring around to well-wishing guests. He drinks enough to start telling the guests around him, “I really love you, man! You’re a great guy!” before he evacuates the room, one by one, of his fellow revelers until everyone left.
Calc Carb comes to the party prepared to wow everyone with his dancing skills, but doesn’t expect to play charades despite the fact that everyone else loves the idea. He’s tried for what seems like hours to give his teammates clues so that they’ll finally guess “Raising Arizona”, but all he gets from them in return are puzzled stares and awkward silence. He’s so frustrated he throws a tantrum and stuns the room with his moody pouting and committed resistance to further play. Everybody’s bummed. Everyone leaves.
Arsenicum Album has helped herself to a few glasses of mulled wine and feels happy and courageous until Causticum catches her wrapping the entire tray of foie gras in a napkin and slipping it into her pocket at the buffet-“for hubby!” “Hubby’s not here!”, retorts Causticum, “there is enough there for all of us to enjoy, so please put it back!” Staphysagria watches and is so indignant she aims the contents of a bowl of chipotle garlic dip directly at Arsenicum, which splatters the foie gras and most of Arsenicum’s dress. A food fight ensues. Meanwhile, the smokers on the balcony are barely aware of Argentum Nitricum’s impulsive, out of the blue “leap” over the railing-but they manage to catch him and wrestle him back into the apartment, where chaos is already underway. The police come. Everyone leaves.
Lycopodium comes to the party with long-suffering wife in tow. He’s flirtatious and witty and charming, and it’s just a short matter of time before he’s caught in flagrante delicto with the host’s sister in an empty bedroom.
Sulphur comes to the party on the look-out for a good conversation-but runs into trouble when most of what she says is vicious criticism. When she starts in on a discourse about the Unacceptable and Unhealthy Nature of The Obese (well within hearing distance of people she’d classify as “obese”), people became offended. The mood of the entire evening shifts. Everyone leaves.
Finally, what can you say about Coffea? Too much Ha Ha, pretty soon Boo Hoo! That’s fairly self explanatory-giddy and effervescent and witty and engaging at first…but go just a bit too far with that and we’re all in the depths of oversensitive despondency. Everyone leaves!
Nancy
*****
Shana, according to the above account, this party was evacuated FIVE times!
How did that happen?
I imagine that after everybody left the first time? Some of them sneaked back in when they realized they couldn’t get a cab in New York!
That makes sense. What about the second time?
Well, Shana, after the party emptied out the second time, I imagine that after Causticum said, “Everybody over to my house for a screening of ‘Che’!” Once again everyone ran back to the party!
Well, what about the third time?
Well, Shana, my guess would be that after Arsenicum wouldn’t let anybody touch anything in her apartment or sit on her furniture or touch anything in the kitchen, one by one the guests excused themselves and tip-toed back to the party.
Well, what about the fourth time?
Well, Shana, my guess is that after Ignatia couldn’t stop crying after suggesting that they all go out for coffee, everyone politely declined and went back into the party!
And what about the fifth time?
Well, Shana, I’m thinking that after Coffea invited everyone over to his house and totally monopolized the conversation with a cascade of ideas on how party-failures could be avoided in the future, everyone left in disgust and went back to the party!
Oh.
Well, that’s about it! Now, I enthusiastically recommend that everyone exit the quiz and go to the top of the ezine and check out my interview with my dear friend, Robin Murphy!
Does Robin Murphy even know who you are?
Well he does now! Oh, wait! Stop the presses! Another quiz answer just came in! I give you now… Eva the Picklet!
Hi Elaine! I hope I’m not too late! How did the following remedies ruin the New Years Eve party:
1. Ignatia was a real wet blanket, sitting around sighing. Everybody was scared to chat with her, because they just got to hear about how her ex-boyfriend left her, all in a strained high-pitched voice.
2. Nat-mur arrived and was so proper and dignified, that everybody was afraid to approach her. Then she overindulged, got drunk and tried to seduce several of the husbands there.
3. Calc-carb. ate all the food!
4. Arsenicum alb. was too scared to be by herself to deal with her gastro-enteritis without her friends reassuring her.
5. Argent-nit. arrived two hours before everybody else, worried he’d be late, then refused to come up to the appartment because it was not only high up, but also on the 13th floor.
6. Causticum: Tried to sign everybody up to her ‘Radicalize Battery Chickens!” campaign.
7. Lycopodium promised to do a musical interlude and then chickened out. Instead he made everybody go out in the rain to admire his red sports car.
8. Sulphur held forth about his genealogy, then he took his shirt off to dance, which made everybody gag.
9. Staphyagria bored the socks off everybody by talking about how badly her husband treated her and why she could not leave him. Eventually she and Ignatia talked to each other because all the other guests avoided them.
10. Coffea demanded that the music be turned down!
Submitted by Deborah de Hole Indewood, and Eva the Picklet
Hey Mom, that’s a total of two quiz answers–three if we count yours! Woo-hoo! Happy New Year, everybody, see you next year!!!!!
Reading Elaine’s quiz on ‘how types may spoil the new years eve party.’ What about the type that fears parties and so makes excuses not to go due to overwhelming shyness?
Neil, sorry I saw your post a year late! Look, here’s the thing; ANY remedy can be a party-avoider based on its own peculiar characteristics. For instance, why would Belladonna not go to the party? Because the strobe lights might cause him to have a seizure. Why would Baryta carb stay home? Because he thinks that people are laughing at him. Why would Thuja stay home? Because he feels like an outcast no matter where he is. Why did Carcinosin stay home? Because by the time she got her outfit and make-up to look perfect, the party was over!