The Natrum Bromatum woman has a delusion that she will be assaulted during a love relationship. She has got an intense fear of the opposite sex. She is very scared of having a relationship. She experiences every gesture of the other person as rape.
It is a great remedy for women who have been raped. After the rape the woman may feel fear of the opposite sex. She withdraws at the very touch of a male. Every time she has sex, she relives the rape.
However, it is not necessary for a woman to have been raped in order to receive a prescription of Natrum Bromatum. Young girls are often afraid in their first relationship. This may happen if they have grown up in an environment where there were fights between their father and mother and where the mother played the role of the victim or the father had a lot of extramarital relationships and their mother accused him in front of the children.
Thus, these girls have the tendency to have platonic relationships; they do not allow their partner to come too close sexually to avoid making love. Some may have dyspareunia. Natrum Bromatum will prove to be a great remedy in such cases.
In other cases the choice of men (or women) is such, so that the fear of rape will not be triggered in the relationship. For example, if we discover that the male friends a girl has had so far were homosexuals, we must think of Natrum Bromatum. Masculinity scares a Natrum Bromatum woman. She chooses passive, soft men or homosexuals. However, she gets easily bored in the relationship. She looks for an “unreachable” man. However, when she meets one, she is afraid of him.
Natrum Bromatum will prove very useful in cases of homosexuality, which are due to a man’s fear of the opposite sex. The fear of women leads a man to search for homosexual relationships. (The same of course applies to women as well).
NATRUM BROMATUM CASE
A 45 year old woman, a teacher, married, with two adolescent daughters, came with the following complaints:
* Anxiety manifested with sweating and a burning feeling.
* Exanthemas with itching and redness.
* Depressive mood.
* Likes icy and sour foods, eggs and fats.
* Feels better by the sea.
* Deteriorates when it is hot.
During the interview she was quite cautious being particularly careful in what she said and how she said it. She mentioned that she was introverted, always cautious with others; that she did not easily share her problems with others. She mentioned that she often sighed and felt sad. When I asked her at some point if there were any events that had particularly affected her life, she burst into tears and revealed to me a very traumatic experience; that her father had raped her when she was 14 years old.
She got very scared by the incident. She always tried to avoid him. During her adolescence, she had a few opportunities to have a boyfriend but she never took advantage of these opportunities because she was afraid. She has an older brother who was very strict with her and she was very much afraid of him. She also has an older sister and she suspected that her father had raped her as well.
When she was at University, she met a friend of her brother, whom she liked a lot but they never had a relationship because she was afraid that her brother might find out about it. After that she met the man who was later to become her husband. Their relationship was initially purely platonic. It was a long time before they made love, because she was afraid to make love.
Although her husband treated her well, she never told him about her traumatic experience. As time went by, she began to feel that there was something missing in her relationship with her husband. Later, her love for her brother’s friend was rekindled, though she has never expressed her feelings to him. She often rings him, but feels guilty about this afterwards.
During our interview she gave me the following answers:
QUESTION: What’s your memory like?
ANSWER: I clearly remember nearly everything that happened a long time ago. Events and feelings are vivid in my mind. I mostly remember everything that was emotionally charged.
QUESTION: In what areas would you say you have a poor memory?
ANSWER: I forget little things easily. I have to think hard, to talk to myself if I don’t want to forget appointments, telephone calls, the shopping.
QUESTION: Do you make mistakes?
ANSWER: Mistakes? Spelling mistakes? When I write something I know what I don’t know and I look up words in dictionaries. Other mistakes? Of course I make mistakes. Doesn’t everybody? Serious mistakes? The most serious mistake is that I was born … I was “a mistake”. I make mistakes. I become aware of most of them and I try to correct them; the ones that can be corrected of course. Some things can’t be corrected because what is done can not be undone.
QUESTION: What mistakes do you make when you speak, read or write?
ANSWER: When I am irritable or stressed out I mix up my words so I make mistakes when I speak. I have to be very absent-minded in order to make spelling mistakes. When I write I think about how I am writing.
QUESTION: Are you anxious or afraid? What about?
ANSWER: I am very anxious. Sometimes it is unbearable. I make heavy weather of things. I feel I have got very little time. I have the feeling I will never catch up with things. So I give up and I don’t make good use of my spare time. At work I don’t waste a minute. I finish work and I don’t realize how the time has passed. When I go somewhere I am afraid I might be late and I begin to feel hot and sweaty. I feel strange, my heart beats very quickly and I want to go back home. Everyday life at home and any preparation for a trip, a party or anything makes me feel anxious. Maybe because I am responsible for everything. During the evenings my anxiety increases. I feel anxious especially during dinner and it gets worse when I get ready for bed. I rush to wash as if I am going to miss a train or as if my seat will be taken. So at these times I get all hot and bothered, I start itching, I get red spots and I breathe heavily. I rush to bed as if I am being chased and it’s a long time before I calm down. The evenings are very difficult for me. Am I afraid? I am very much afraid. I am afraid of death. Maybe not so much for myself, as for … death in general. Some childhood experiences and things I heard in the village are out of all proportion within myself and I am afraid of irrational things. Ever since I was little I have been afraid of dead people; even the ones who loved me a lot. I was afraid and I am still afraid to go to my grandmother’s house alone. When it is dark it would be inconceivable for me to go there. When I go past a house where somebody has died I am shaking. I often dream of dead people and I wake up feeling ill. When I am in the village and the room is dark in my grandmother’s house I shake until I have turned on the light to see what is going on. When I am there, I always sleep with the light on but in my house here I don’t.
When I was little I used to be afraid of my father, but not very much. Then I was afraid of my brother. I was afraid of everything he did not approve of. I used to be very anxious and scared, in case I got back home late or in case he saw me talking to some man … I couldn’t even talk to a friend.
I was also afraid of men. Especially the older ones. I am still afraid of them. They have within them, of course not all of them, the cruel experience of life, the selfishness, the instincts … Now I am afraid of my husband, of his reactions. I am afraid of tomorrow. I want something and I am afraid to ask him. I want us to go somewhere and I am afraid to say it. In the past I didn’t use to feel this way. Now I am afraid of everything, even though I don’t always admit it. I write and I cry and I am afraid.
QUESTION: When you are anxious, what physical symptoms do you have?
ANSWER: When I am anxious, my heart beats very fast. Sometimes I get all hot and bothered. Other times I have a lump like a tangerine in my throat. More often I come out in red spots.
QUESTION: How do you feel before exams or an appointment?
ANSWER: In the past, as a school girl or a University student, I was not very anxious. However, three years ago when I was doing my postgraduate studies I was very afraid during the exams; I was shaking.
I always go early to my appointments. When I am late or afraid that I will be late I feel anxious and impatient.
QUESTION: What happens to you when you are startled or scared?
ANSWER: When I get scared my heart beats fast and I shake.
QUESTION: Are you a suspicious person?
ANSWER: The difficulties I have been through, the many setbacks I have suffered because of people have made me suspicious. How could I not be? Most people hide a part of themselves. How am I supposed to know that they are sincere and objective?
QUESTION: What about jealousy?
ANSWER: I rarely feel jealous. I don’t envy success, the material possessions or anything else my friends, my acquaintances or my relatives have. On the contrary, I am happy for them. I felt jealous, if it was jealousy, of my husband last year. Maybe it was fear, insecurity, bitterness, disappointment, pain.
QUESTION: What do you get impatient about?
ANSWER: I am impatient. I cannot wait in queues, for appointments, for telephone calls.
QUESTION: What are you sensitive about?
ANSWER: I am very sensitive to pain, to injustice, to the environment. I am very emotional. Even a small broken branch of a tree upsets me.
QUESTION: How revengeful are you?
ANSWER: I am not at all revengeful. Even if I say something wrong when I lose my temper I regret it. Nothing changes. What is done is done. Evil brings evil.
QUESTION: When do you lose your temper?
ANSWER: When don’t I lose my temper? No, that is not true. I don’t always lose my temper. When I get very tired, my nerves weaken and I cannot control them. Especially when I am tired emotionally or when I have problems and unfortunately I have got quite a few problems.
QUESTION: When do you become violent?
ANSWER: When I am very irritated and I lose my control.
QUESTION: What physical symptoms do you have when you get very angry?
ANSWER: I mix up my words. I bang doors. I cry. I shout. In the past I used to beat the kids. Also, when I am in a very bad state I fall into despair and I feel like killing myself.
QUESTION: What makes you despair?
ANSWER: I despair from the lack of understanding from my family. I despair because of my unresolved problems; because of time, because of injustice.
QUESTION: Are you ever sad, gloomy, broody? What causes that? For no reason? When?
ANSWER: I am almost always sad and particularly when I am alone. I am gloomy, silent and I am always thinking; I think a lot; not without cause. There is always a reason. For me these states of being, these feelings are permanent because the causes of them are permanent. I used to be a joyful person, chatty, pleasant. The bad circumstances have changed me. How could I not have changed? And I have changed abruptly especially since February 1969. Oppression, loneliness and the unlucky conjunction of circumstances have helped in this.
QUESTION: Have you ever thought of suicide? When? In what way did you think of putting an end to your life? Are you afraid of death?
ANSWER: I have thought of suicide many times. Since I was fourteen or fifteen as well as now. I did not plan anything, I did not think of ways to do it because in the past I used to think of my mother, my relatives and friends, the effect it would have on them, society, what people would think. I used to think what they would say about me. I could not bear it if they said negative things about me. When I was 10 years old a school friend of mine, Maria, aged 12, drowned in a pool. I overheard from the adults talking about it that they did an autopsy on her, they cut her from top to bottom, to see if some man had done something to her … This stayed in my mind … and scared me very much.
When I was 17, one night in a moment of despair I rushed to fall off the balcony but was held back by the parapet. It was an action taken on the spur of the moment. At 21, again in a moment of despair, I thought of opening the door of a car that was moving and jumping out. Luckily or unluckily I thought: How will my mother react when she sees me in pieces? I dug my nails into my thighs until they bled and I overcame the difficult moment. Now in moments of despair I want to put an end to it all but my children, my husband and my mother get in the way. Sometimes I begg: “my God, she ought die first and then me”. At moments like this I am not afraid of death, I see it as a salvation. Then I cry and I calm down or rather the moment goes away.
QUESTION: When do you feel happy?
ANSWER: I feel happy when I manage to forget myself, when I see the children happy, when I receive a good word from someone or when I am in good company. Any expression of love brings me joy. Also travelling, new places make me forget myself.
When I was young my youthfulness helped me forget and I laughed and I was happy. I still feel happy when I can offer something to someone and make others happy.
QUESTION: What is your mood like? Does it change easily?
ANSWER: My mood changes easily with a good word or a bad word.
QUESTION: Are you shy, cowardly, reserved or impetuous and full of self-confidence?
ANSWER: I have always been shy but I have also been courageous when I have had to be. I am a coward when it comes to asking for something for myself. I am reserved too. It took me a long time to learn to express something that was inside me. When it comes to feelings and ideas I am impetuous; also when I am going to help somebody. Self-confidence? I used to have a lot. Now I am afraid it’s getting less.
QUESTION: How do you feel about your work, your relatives, the members of your family etc.?
ANSWER: I am terribly interested in my job and I spend a lot oftime on it. I care a lot about all my relatives but I doubt that they care as much about me as I do about them. I often think about them all. I am happy when they call to see how I am. But this does not happen often. It’s always me that phones them. Sometimes I deliberately don’t call them so that they start worrying about me and then they give me a call. Of course, I also care about my brother and sister and about my family. All the time, thoughts and care that I have to give are given to them. With my friends? I am a good friend. I often think of them and I try not to lose contact with them. Of course I get disappointed.
QUESTION: When are you worried? What do you do when you are worried?
ANSWER: I am worried about my children. I am terribly worried about them; about the present, about the future. I am very much afraid. I think and I cry: “God, forbid that my fears for my children should come true”. When I am worried my heart beats fast, I am afraid and I have bad premonitions, which sometimes come true.
QUESTION: Are you quiet or chatty?
ANSWER: Sometimes I am quiet, sometimes I am chatty. It depends on my mood and the circumstances. A pleasant environment helps me to be chatty and to be in a good mood.
QUESTION: Are you amorous?
ANSWER: Amorous? If my life was different may be I would be or I might have been. Now? It depends; rarely, every now and then.
QUESTION: What happens when you are alone?
ANSWER: I am very often alone. I think, I talk to myself, I talk to the people I want. Most of the times I cry … I also read a lot. In the past I used to embroider so that I could see I was doing something creative. Now I have given it up. I think about everything and I reflect about everything and day-dream. If … if … why?
QUESTION: What happens when you are amongst other people, in a crowded place?
ANSWER: Crowded places bother me. I feel I am going to explode. I suffocate.
QUESTION: Do you prefer to be in the company of people or alone?
ANSWER: I prefer to be alone and meditate. I live in my own world. I talk to myself. But I also like good company. It makes me forget myself. It is rare though.
QUESTION: What makes you cry? How do you feel after you have cried?
ANSWER: Pain, injustice, the cruelty of people and life make me cry. After I have cried the emotional charge subsides. Let’s say that I feel relieved, but it is a futile comfort.
QUESTION: How do you react to consolation and compassion?
ANSWER: I feel comforted. I feel less alone. Someone cares about me, someone is thinking about me. Some of my pain goes away; and I have a lot of pain.
QUESTION: How do you react to contradiction?
ANSWER: Contradiction makes me angry.
QUESTION: What happens when you suppress your anger?
ANSWER: When I suppress my anger and when I feel oppressed, I feel angry with myself and I regret not having reacted, not having talked, not …
QUESTION: Have you got any fantasies or fears?
ANSWER: Fantasies? I close my eyes and I fantasize that I am speaking to my loved ones. I tell them all the things that I don’t dare or haven’t got the opportunity or I am afraid or I hesitate to tell them. I also fantasize moments that I would like to live. Fears I have a lot. I have mentioned them earlier.
QUESTION:Any illusions? Voices etc.?
ANSWER: I haven’t got any illusions. I see reality even though I day-dream from time to time. I always see things as they are. I do not hear any voices. I have some delusions at times when I am thinking a lot or when under stress and under the influence of drugs or alcohol. Very rarely, of course. (One afternoon I felt as though a bottomless pit was opening up before me -after intense thinking). (Being wrapped, a whirlpool, being enclosed -because of sadness, tension, sleeplessness, alcohol).
QUESTION: How does untidiness and dirt affect you?
ANSWER: They both get on my nerves.
QUESTION: Have you regretted anything?
ANSWER: I have regretted a lot of things. All I have or haven’t done. All I haven’t said. My kindness … I may have regretted even that I have been wounded many times and I regret that this has changed the course of my life.
QUESTION: What activities and what things do you love most? What is it that you don’t like or hate?
ANSWER: I love reading and writing. Emboidering. I enjoy creating something so that I feel my energy is not wasted. I hate some of the household chores, things that you have to repeat often without them offering you a lasting satisfaction. For example, you prepare a meal, you use a lot of pots and pans. Then you put them all away and tidy up. In a short while it is time for dinner and they are all out again.
QUESTION: What motivates you or makes you energetic?
ANSWER: At the moment nothing. Sometimes my job or when I help or look after people that I love a lot.
QUESTION: In your opinion, what aspects of yourself and your mood are not pleasant to you? Despite your knowledge of things and your maturity, are you perhaps unable to change these aspects?
ANSWER: I don’t like myself when something gets on my nerves and I over-react; when I am lazy and nothing satisfies me, when I cannot get rid of my sadness and sometimes my hypersensitivity. Perhaps I cannot change everything. I have improved some things. For example, I try not to over-react and I allow reason to steer the situation somehow. I do not, however, make any efforts to alleviate my boredom or to improve my psychological state in general. Perhaps I don’t love myself as much as I should. I don’t take care of myself. Even though I supposedly lie down and rest in the afternoon, I don’t do it in order to get some strength but out of boredom. Not exactly. Nothing really interests me. When I am in bed I write, I read, I embroider. In reality I don’t rest. I get anxious even then. I know what I have to do and I don’t do it. I think and I think and what do I do? NOTHING.
QUESTION: What are your ambitions and to what extend have you been able to fulfill them? How do you envisage your future?
ANSWER: At the moment my ambitions are my children’s future. The fulfillment of their hopes.
In the past I used to have a lot of dreams. But they were “mutilated” very early on. So, instead, I set myself some goals so that I would survive and wouldn’t have to depend on others. I found a job that I wanted then in order to get away. A job that would send me away. As far away as possible. But life is different. Not everything can be planned. You want certain things, you ask for certain things, you dream of certain things but other things happen. Some of my childhood dreams, which I had given up on came true. I had a family, children … I found a husband who loved me … I lived a normal life despite the fact that a piece of the puzzle of complete happiness was missing. I didn’t want anything else. I truly didn’t. Of course life goes on. Thoughts dig up the past, the coincidences, the new people; a mountain of turmoils. At the moment I feel that my future is uncertain. Maybe I am too sick to have dreams. As I was saying the other day, I want a house of my own. I don’t want to live in other people’s houses. I want to set down roots and not to feel I don’t belong anywhere.
QUESTION: Give me a clear and detailed picture of your life at home and at work. What is your relationship with every member of your family, your friends and your colleagues? What are your responsibilities in life? How do you feel about them?
ANSWER: My life at home has been very turbulent this year. I feel fear, insecurity, suspicion. The household chores don’t satisfy me. In the morning, preparation for work; at work I forget myself, I totally concentrate on my work and time goes by quickly. It is a full and creative time. At noon I do the shopping and cooking. Then I shut up myself in my room. I half-watch a bit of TV while writing, reading or embroidering at the same time. I also sleep a little bit and I think a lot. In the afternoon, household chores, doing things for the children. I don’t want to go out. I don’t like to see anybody. I go somewhere if I have to and I have promised to do so.
I am afraid to talk to my husband. I am afraid to talk to him in case he misunderstands me and throws my words back in my face, like he did last year, when he blamed me for various things. Maybe he was right from his point of view, but he has never been in my position in order to know. Nobody can understand the other person completely.
Fortunately the children are OK. I am not always very good with them but our relationship is basically OK. I would like them to talk to me more. I want more love from everybody. They are my own little world. Maybe I am asking for too much.
With my friends I am reliable and rather formal. The concept of frienship is very important to me. I have a responsible attitude towards whatever I undertake. I feel very tired from the responsibilities and the cares of life.
QUESTION: What are you worried about in regard to your personal life, your family life and your financial affairs? Any other problems? Describe them to me in detail.
ANSWER: I have a lot of worries; it is hard to describe them. I have felt them strongly ever since I was little. And misfortunes? I have had a mountain of them. But there were fortunate things as well. And when they went together they balanced each other out. Neither laughter nor tears.
My personal problem … known … unknown … indescribable. It has created a vacuum in me, some inferiority, suspicion, fear, grief.
The family matters.
My younger daughter has gone away. I am trying to forget it, to come to terms with it. Children are like birds and they fly away. I force myself not to think that she sleeps alone, that she may be afraid, that she may not be eating well, that she may feel lonely. I am afraid of who her friends are. I feel I cannot protect her any more. I have suffered so much from people, who can I trust any more? There is so much I want to tell her; to prevent things. Can life be prevented? No. Events flash by.